Chapter 6: I Will Never Date You!

Mutation (6)

"......"

I slowly moved my chopsticks and spoon as I ate, feeling a bit choked up.

My younger sister was staring intently at me.

She wasn't sitting on the sofa like a while ago; now, she was at the dining table.

It would have been better if she had eaten with me, but since she wasn't eating anything, she was literally just staring at me.

"Um, so... Ah, no, no. Just eat. You can listen while you eat."

My sister opened her mouth as if trying to start a conversation, but when I stopped eating, she hurriedly waved her hand and said that.

Feeling a bit uncomfortable, I quickly mixed all the rice into the soup. I put down the bowl and picked up the spoon.

"How long has it been since we talked like this?"

"......I don't know."

We were said to have a bad relationship, but when I actually asked myself if that was true, it didn't seem like it.

I mean... having a bad relationship means that you know something about each other, right? It means that I have a reason to dislike someone.

But my relationship with my sister wasn't like that at all. Rather, it was like we became less interested in each other as time went on. I don't think we even talked properly later on.

When we were very young, we were reasonably close. We lived in the same house, and we were close in age. At least until elementary school, we went to the same school, and I used to take her to school or bring her home. Of course, we fought a lot even then.

Then, we both went through puberty, and we clashed here and there—around the time I went to college, we almost stopped talking altogether. There wasn't any special event. When I was a student preparing for the college entrance exam, I was busy studying, and when I became a freshman in college, my sister was busy studying, so we hardly ever saw each other. She didn't come to visit me when I was in the military either.

Even after I was discharged from the military, we just lived our lives, and I think we were just awkward until I collapsed.

In that sense, the fact that my sister talked to me on the day I was discharged from the hospital might have been a huge consideration on her part.

"What did you do yesterday?"

After racking my brain to try to start a conversation, the question she finally managed to ask was that.

"I went to the hospital, registered at the gym and worked out a bit. I met a friend and came back."

"A friend? Siwoo Seonbae?"

"Yeah. Siwoo."

My sister seemed lost in thought for a moment.

"What did Siwoo Seonbae say?"

"He was just the same as usual. We looked around here and there together, and we ate. That's it."

"Didn't you drink anything?"

"......We didn't. Now that I think about it."

Was that also a kind of consideration?

It's not like I can't drink at all. But I'm not a heavy drinker either. I just order two or three beers when I meet a friend. Of course, it was common to have a light drink or two when I met Siwoo.

"Maybe it's because I told him I went to the hospital."

Okay.

Still, it feels a little less uncomfortable now that we keep talking. It's still a bit awkward, though.

I wonder if Mom and Dad asked my sister to do something. Maybe they're worried I won't adjust.

Just like I'm getting psychological counseling, my family must have heard all sorts of things from the doctor. That these cases are common among patients, and that it's good to act like this, or something like that.

"Really?"

My sister moved her lips as if she had a lot to say, then muttered, "Well, if it's Siwoo Seonbae..."

"What about Siwoo?"

"Huh? Oh, it's nothing."

"More than that, are you close to Siwoo? Do you meet him often?"

"Huh? Oh, I don't really meet him in person. I just contacted him to ask about Siwoo Seonbae's work."

Is it awkward for her to call me "Oppa?"

Well, considering my appearance and everything, my sister usually didn't use the word "Oppa" to me, even though she used it to her Seonbae at the same school or to my friends. Usually, it was just "Hey."

"You registered at the gym?"

"Yeah, well. I did."

Thinking that the conversation had run out of steam in that direction, my sister awkwardly changed the subject.

The conversation went reasonably well. My sister spoke, and I answered, and the uncomfortable feeling was much better than before, so I didn't rush my meal.

But that doesn't mean the awkwardness disappeared.

'Oppa' has become 'a woman.'

The fact that my sister is being kinder to me than usual isn't just a matter of gender.

Rather, it's closer to the politeness you show to someone you've just met. You can't just say "Hey" to someone's face from the first meeting. Well, it's also because I'm a long-term hospitalized patient who was discharged just two days ago.

"How did you work out? Did you change your clothes?"

"I just registered on impulse, so I didn't bring anything like that. I just walked on the treadmill for a while and came out."

"Do you have clothes?"

"......"

I looked at my sister.

Of course, I don't.

The clothes I used to wear fit reasonably well, but the pants were too loose at the waist, and the tops were too tight in many ways. The loose clothes like the ones I wore yesterday fit reasonably well, but most of them were plain and unfashionable, the kind you wear when you go to the convenience store.

"So... um. Don't take this the wrong way."

My sister moved her lips slowly, looking around. She had the expression of someone who was thinking, "So, this moment has finally come."

Now I was really sure. This conversation is definitely following the doctor's advice.

Don't ask too many details about male-female relationships. But at the same time, make them accept the current reality. Tell them that it's not embarrassing to wear clothes that are clearly different from the clothes they used to wear and their gender.

Outerwear is often roughly the same for men and women if you just wear different sizes, but underwear is not.

"If you really need it, it's a good choice to ask someone else for help. Besides, you... Oppa has female family members, right?"

I appreciate the thought, but to be honest, I don't know how to answer.

If I were really a woman and my sister and I had seen everything about each other since we were kids, then maybe it'd be different, but I don't know, siblings usually don't do that.

I don't know if I'll have to see her naked to learn how to wear underwear—but even if that's not the case, the fact that I'm talking about underwear with my sister isn't that pleasant. Besides, the hospital already taught me how to wear it, so there's no problem.

"......No, wait a minute."

My sister said, as if she had realized something was wrong.

"Right now, are you wearing underwear?"

"......"

I didn't answer.

I woke up from sleeping and came out right away, so there's no way I'd be wearing underwear. No, of course, I'm wearing it on the bottom, but not on the top.

I looked it up myself. I saw that women often don't wear bras when they sleep.

"......Then, yesterday?"

"Of course."

Of course?

I had a blank expression for a moment.

Wait a minute.

Did I wear it?

I wore a thin T-shirt inside, and then a loose, thick hoodie over it to hide my figure.

But I don't remember if I wore anything inside that T-shirt or not.

"Of course?"

My sister asked again.

The kind expression that seemed to be thinking of me slowly crumbled.

If I had to describe that expression, it was, 'What is this?'

In other words, it was an expression I had seen a lot when my sister and I used to talk often.

"Don't tell me......"

"......I probably wore it. Probably."

For some reason, people kept looking at me when I was running on the treadmill.

But isn't that a little strange?

Even if that's the case, I covered it all up with clothes. There are a lot of people at the gym who wear clothes that are no different from underwear, or just leggings on the bottom, right?

So, I must have just been self-conscious. Definitely.

Siwoo didn't say anything special either.

"......Are you done eating?"

"......I'm done."

"Then quickly put it in the sink. Go into your room and make sure you wear underwear. You know how to wear it, right? The nurse taught you."

"Yea, so......"

"Okay. I got it. I got it. Surely you wouldn't have done that, no matter what? You wouldn't have been bouncing around at the gym."

When I closed my mouth at my sister's sudden old way of speaking, my sister looked at me with blazing eyes and said.

"But, judging from your reaction now, I can't believe you! It might have been okay yesterday, but I can't trust you in the future. So, hurry up and go in, put on your underwear properly, and change your clothes properly."

"Why? Are you going to inspect me?"

"No, we're going to buy clothes. Clothes to wear when you work out, and underwear."

My sister said.

"If we don't, I think there's going to be a big accident at the gym someday. And how long are you going to wear those rags? I taught you how to dress, and you're going back to the way you were?"

"No......"

Several rebuttals came to mind when my sister brought up stories from when we were young, but they quickly subsided.

I felt like if I said anything, the future would be tiring.

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