STL

Chapter 12: I Became the Last Place in the Academy

Added 2025-06-23 01:52:43 +0000 UTC

In our class, there was the bottom-ranked student, Kanna Aurora.

She was the kind of person whose grades were so low that people would say the class average dropped because of her.

It started with simple pity.

She couldn't become friends with anyone because she was the lowest-ranked student. Perhaps deep down, she wanted a friend, so she asked Orca to be her friend.

Maybe she also wanted to learn from someone who was good at studying.

One can't always be kind, but I felt sorry for her trying to make friends in that situation, so I stepped in. That was the beginning.

I became her friend, but it was my first time making a friend so artificially, so I didn't know what to do and just left her alone.

And soon after, I realized how terrible a memory my "doing nothing" was giving her.

I didn't think about it when I went to eat as usual, but then I barely remembered that Kanna had asked Orca to be her friend because she had no friends.

No one would play with the lowest-ranked student.

So, of course, she wouldn't have anyone to eat with.

I belatedly realized this and felt a little guilty.

But if I apologized, wouldn't Kanna be the one who would be hurt the most?

So, I kept my mouth shut.

But because I couldn't say it, it remained in my heart even more.

How should I treat her?

Should I treat her normally?

I was conflicted.

I knew from the start that friendship couldn't be forced, and I also knew that no one would be happy if one side was overly considerate, so my hesitation continued.

I couldn't treat Kanna as a friend.

Even though I was the one who asked her to be friends.

What do I even want?

I wondered myself.

As I was hesitating, I finally got a chance to talk to Kanna.

And the relationship that started because of that eventually became a time where we could call each other friends.

I followed Kanna around.

After the academy's daily schedule ended and after school, and even on weekends, I stayed by her side without fail, wandering around.

It felt like I was seeing a different side of her than I saw inside the academy.

She seemed like a different person from the one who was always intimidated, subdued, spent the day without saying a word, and quietly left.

Was it because she had someone to talk to?

I followed Kanna around, and during that time, I wondered if I had been influenced by her, because I saw her unfounded belief and unconsciously thought that it might be true.

There was no evidence, so it might be nonsense as Orca said, but Kanna didn't care about that and worked hard, so I wanted to trust Kanna once.

But the world is never easy, and something was stopping me.

"Yun Hamin."

The teacher, with her long, light brown hair tied up, was angry at me.

I didn't care that I couldn't keep my position as the top student, but it was because I had given up points in a ridiculous place.

Practical exams were relative evaluations where ties couldn't happen, but written exams were evaluations where ties could happen, so losing points here was significant.

As a result, I became the second-ranked student, but this was my responsibility.

"...Yes."

"What were you doing that you didn't study properly and ended up like this?"

"I had circumstances."

The teacher dismissed Kanna's words as nonsense, so I thought Kanna would only be more distressed if I told her this, so I kept my mouth shut.

"I told you, didn't I? If you have flaws in your score like this, you can't be affiliated with the state. Didn't I tell you when you consulted with me at the beginning of the semester?"

"I'm sorry."

I hung my head.

I had asked the teacher for advice, but I couldn't follow the teacher's advice and threw it away, so I felt sorry.

"Orca."

"Yes."

"Orca's grades are still clean, so Orca will have a little more hope. It's okay if the second-ranked and top students are neck to neck, because that means there are two talented people."

"...Yes."

Orca replied, slightly subdued.

Perhaps it was because I was scolded from the beginning.

"So, I hope Orca won't make this mistake in the future."

After saying that, the teacher's gaze turned back to me.

"It's still the first semester of the first year, so it's too early to jump to conclusions. The possibility has decreased, but it hasn't completely disappeared, Yun Hamin. Don't give up and continue to get good grades like before. It seems difficult to be eliminated in terms of practical skills."

"Yes."

After being scolded once, I greeted the teacher and left the classroom.

Actually, I had to investigate that barrier with Kanna today, but I was just sorry that I couldn't.

She would probably think that my grades had dropped because of her, and she would try to distance herself to protect me.

If she tried to distance herself, I wondered if I should just let her go so that she would be less hurt.

And the answer was still vague, so I couldn't find it.

Kanna was just alienated because she had bad grades and couldn't become friends with anyone, but I knew that if you approached her, she would show you many different sides.

She ate food deliciously like a hamster when she ate something, as if she had never eaten her fill, and she swallowed her tears when she realized that I believed in her.

How could I reject her, who was happy with just the fact that someone believed in her in a situation where no one believed in her?

"Yun Hamin."

While I was wondering if I should go home, Orca, who was leaving school with me, called my name.

When I turned my head to look at her, she, with her beautiful appearance, was frowning with that good face.

"...What?"

"I didn't say anything because it seems like you're trying to hide it, but I want you to distance yourself from Kanna."

"I really want to ask why."

"You're going around to confirm the story you told me last time, right? Do you think I wouldn't know that you go home with Kanna every day? I'm sitting next to you, did you really think I wouldn't know?"

I heard those words and smiled bitterly.

I wasn't trying to deceive her confidently, so I answered honestly.

"As I said before, still... I want to believe her at least once."

"Once?"

"Yeah."

Honestly, how can I not believe someone who cries so much because I believe in them?

That feeling is the proof that she didn't lie.

I knew why Orca was reacting like that.

But that was that, and this was this, so I couldn't listen to her.

"Really. Okay. But you should stop doing things that will affect your future."

Orca eventually gave in to my stubbornness, sighed, and said that.

She was worried about the future after spending three years at the academy, so I felt grateful rather than thinking it was meddling.

Where else can you find someone who says such good things?

"Okay."

I was becoming a little interested in Kanna Aurora.

What was she trying to see, and why did that voice still remain and make me curious?

***

Thursday was the day after the exam, and everyone hated it because it was the day to announce the preparation for the new exam again.

It was also a more painful day because it came out four times a week and reminded me that I had to come to the academy the next day as well.

Still, I was glad that I could spend the day somehow.

I was glad that I hadn't adapted to the gazes around me, but I had learned how to endure them.

Besides, I could cheer up a little more because there was someone who ate lunch with me.

The daily schedule ended and the time pointed to 5 o'clock.

I was about to sling my bag over my shoulder, thinking that it would be nice to get out of here, stop by a convenience store or something to eat, and look around places I hadn't been to, when Yun Hamin quietly approached me.

"Kanna. Do you want to go home together today?"

I had refused to go home with him yesterday.

The reason was clear.

In fact, I was trying to give Yun Hamin only a little bit of damage, within the range that he said he could endure, and get the maximum benefit, but there were too many things I had to bear by doing so.

I was afraid of being hated by Orca, and I was afraid of being targeted by the teacher.

And I was more afraid of living an academy life that would be more like a nightmare than what I was living now.

I was afraid that everyone would look at me and point fingers at me, calling me a crazy bitch, and I realized once again that I didn't have the courage to be hated yet.

"No, it's okay."

I smiled on purpose.

I could feel the kids, including Orca, who were preparing to leave school, looking this way.

Everyone was already wary of me because they knew that Yun Hamin had immediately dropped to second place after hanging out with me.

In the midst of those gazes, I quietly pushed him away.

"You don't have to help me anymore."

"No, I haven't done everything yet..."

"It's really okay."

I refused his kindness.

I had no choice.

"...Really?"

"Yeah."

No matter how much it was Yun Hamin, it was natural that he couldn't do anything if I refused him this much.

I pushed him away, and he blankly lowered his gaze.

"No, suddenly...?"

I quietly told him, who was muttering like that.

"You know too. There's nothing good about being with me."

I'm alone.

I was alone, and I'm used to being alone.

In fact, I know that loneliness is hard to get used to.

Even if everyone is in a situation where they can't feel loneliness, the sense of isolation increases more than twice.

But there was nothing I could do.

I was really grateful that he had helped me this far, so I smiled.

"I'm sorry for lowering your grades."

While saying these words, I quietly bought Orca's heart, and at the same time, I instilled fear in the surrounding kids that being with me could lower their grades.

Yun Hamin looked at me with wide eyes.

"...That's not your fault..."

"I'm sorry."

I blocked his words as if driving a wedge, and left the spot.

I pressed my lips tightly because it felt like the emotions I wanted to hide were about to burst out of my mouth.

If someone saw it, they would say it was a really strange expression.

Because my lips were distorted on their own.

I left the academy at a fast pace.

And I went to the village I hadn't been to yet, passing by the bus stop near the academy.

I lifted my head to the sky and sniffed to soothe my depressed heart.

"Ha."

I was keenly aware that a relationship that is not desired from the side cannot even be a friendship.