It has been a long and frustrating journey of vague refusal statements, ignored appeals, and long periods of radio silence. Since Youtube said they would decide "in a month" and more than a month had gone by, I contacted Fairtube.
And it looks like the moment Fairtube took up the case, Monetization finally went through! Huzzah!
Now then! I don't see a way to make videos distinguish between Patron and non-Patron, so probably what's going to happen here, is I'm going to spend the day uploading all the videos again from scratch, and then setting those to be non-monetized and Patron-only.
This will probably take me a few days so if you see ads, do not panic! I am working on it.
Also, the "current" video has been slowed down somewhat by time lost fighting to make this happen, the "channel news" section will also need to be redone before I can upload so expect this to slow down this video by a few days.
The good news is, I can make quicker videos now! Previously I had to focus fire Long Major Theory videos, but I've had a lot of smaller videos (similar to the initial 5 minute "spamton is a cat" one) that I've been wanting to work on too. I couldn't make them before because I couldn't justify charging Patrons for them, but now that I will (hopefully?) be getting ad revenue from smaller videos too, these can help me recharge between Bigger videos, while also providing little doses of entertainment and trivia between major videos.
TLDR: Adding Ads to Video, Ad-Free Versions will be up within a week. Current Video delayed slightly, but tiny-fun-theory-videos on their way!
Also I will become Bread soon, nobody panic.