Dimitri and Khalid wander into the Pine Barrens of New Jersey to uncover the colonial origins of the chimeric cryptid known as the Jersey Devil, including: monstrous births and demonic fiddlers in the New World, Daniel and Titan Leeds, the almanac wars of 1730s America, Loyalist Daniel Leeds’ subliminal jihad against the Quakers, Benjamin Franklin attacking the Flying Spaghetti Monster of almanacs, the mystery of “Ong’s Hat: Gateway to the Dimensions”, Hakim Bey and Joseph Matheny creating the first internet ARG around Pine Barrens lore, the Incunabula zine, the “Institute of Chaos Studies” and “Moorish Science Ashram” in the Pine Barrens, cognitive chaos experiments, reality-shifting in an inter-dimensional egg, connections to Discordianism and the Fundamental Fysiks Group in Berkeley, Stanford LSD/FFG alum Nick Herbert, Jack Sarfatti, the twin ARGs of western fighters joining ISIS and the YPG, Rojava and Khilafah as Temporary Autonomous Zones, and the potentially satanic murder of Jersey teenager Jeanette DePalma in 1972.