Vaught - Ch 01-03 - WIP
Added 2022-11-06 11:46:59 +0000 UTCThe Vaught family was once the most prestigious in Farrs Post, Virginia. Things have changed though, and now Elizabeth Vaught rules over a hollow name. The family fortune is squandered, Elizabeth's marriage is a sham, and her sister and brother-in-law control almost everything. Even Elizabeth is desperately indebted to Greg and his expansive network of contacts while her sister, Abby, lives like a queen creating bizarre deviations of Milktec's secret serum. Elizabeth doesn't mind because the Vaught name will live on, respected and feared. Unless, that is, Greg and Abby decide on different course for the family future.
Hi all! Welcome to November and the next "chunk" story. I've been wanting to write something lengthier in the Milktec universe and a patron pitched this idea. As usual with these the first section can be a bit dry as lots of exposition is gotten out of the way. The first two chapters here are on target for the concept. The third chapter is missing a final part, and I'm not entirely sure on the way its currently framed with the time jumps. There's a lot of background that needs to be covered and doing it all through inner dialogue would be rough. Hitting the big points in the history for these characters and moving on briskly is the idea. The remainder of chapter 3 will cover two other points in time, a period shortly after Milktec's serum, and a point near to the present (in the narrative) when Elizabeth visits her sister. I thought I'd finish those up yesterday, but I didn't have time. This is fairly long already, and I wanted to get something posted. As always, feel free to comment or dm me any thoughts.
Also on the docket for this month is more of Convent of Sin, and some other straight to the point spicy stuff as the mood strikes. Happy reading!
Edit: Went back and added the remaining sections of Ch. 03 to the uploaded files.
Comments
Loved it. Absolutely loved how much I loathed Elizabeth from almost the first moments and how deep it has gotten in the first almost 3 chapters. Just loved it. Notes/Thoughts/Suggestions * PDF Page 16 : Personally, I would have liked the scent/aroma not be linked to Greg until later, just having Liz notice and react without being told it was coming from Greg. As Liz gets closer to Greg to retrieve and return the bourbon glass the aroma is more intense overloading her senses and clouding her mind; Greg in a nonchalant manner "you're just playing the part of the dutiful host" or something. With Liz still trying to figure it out if it is Greg or not. * Page 17 : I would almost have it thrown back to her that it is more her asking HIM to deal with the affairs and never has she really dealt with her husband's multitude of affairs. * Page 27 : I had wanted Abby's upbringing to come out a little where she told Stavos that "real gentlemen would at least set an appointment" or something about thinking she was her most vulnerable but typically when prey was that vulnerable they tended to be their most lethal. Letting her intelligence and calm demeanor be almost as looming as the intruders presence. Abby isn't intimidated by the situation cause she's been dealing with it her entire life. Also Stavos is a win just for his inclusion. *Page 30 : I would be interesting to see Benjamin 'correct' Elizabeth and be "Benjamin Vaught-Nicholson; but the Vaught name seems to be the one that commands people's attentions" to let his arrogance and nature start to peak. *Page 31: I want to think Greg would more smirk at Liz's response like he is in on the inside joke that Abby wasn't going to keep up the theater and Benjamin is shocked that Elizabeth would respond to anything other than her full name. * Either arriving at the Plantation or while Abby whispers into his ear have Greg come to realize all the unused Tobacco drying warehouses would be good to move some of his "Import/Export" business and the area would be better to be operating from than the city. Leaning on Liz/Benny for help acquiring or smoothing ruffled feathers if he and Abby were going to help prop up the family finances.
Red Panda Seven
2022-11-06 20:41:09 +0000 UTC
