XaiJu
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Neighborhood Bull WIP - Ch 16-18

Future proofing the herd, Alisha's been naughty, and the Meeks wander into the orgy.  


Hi all.  Penultimate chunk of this story.  Moving a bit pell-mell toward the ending.  16 is essentially the bridge between Act II of the story and Act III.  As such, it is a rough rough draft.  Introducing a new character's POV and their only scene in the story is weird at that juncture.  I did it because writing from Darcy's POV tends to get dry after a while.  That's one thing wrong with 16, another is that its giving Evan and Co. a swift kick from "Let's sell a little extra"  to "let's pervert the entire neighborhood." 17 and 18 smooth that out a bit, but rough, rough draft stuff there.

Both 17 and 18 might get a little extra spice on draft two, mainly to focus more on the men in those scenes.  Going forward 19 will be about Eloise, and 20 will be the concluding segment.

All usual disclaimers, and Happy Reading!

Comments

The last two installments left me wanting the Bull to win; I like Darcy accepting her place but between the Alisha side story and Tanya’s folly I kinda hope the Bull runs wild. Darcy seems to much like the angle on the shoulder; I had hoped Alisha to have been the devil on the other to be the devious mind needed to keep the herd going. I look forward to the next Act. Pros * Darcy made a choice and it changed the story for the better imho Darcy the Consort is probably the best transformation ; better understanding of her slower and subtler changes would be nice though as she spent several week measuring * Feels like the herd is picking up steam. * Characters feel like they are making choices instead of being passive victims * There seems to be a plan for keeping the 'hood that was laid out in the first installment Cons * Sarah and Jen - early adopters : there are a lot of characters now to juggle but the few paragraphs make them forgettable at times; same with Emily but that is more I would want to 'see' mom interacting with the healthy Rose post transformation more than anything. * Time jumps : it feels like time needs to pass for changes to settle/finalize but between Alisha/David's story and Ellie's transformation I don't feel like as much time has passed or the stated time just is one of those classic film fade out fade in moments where we're just to believe time has passed but otherwise it could be any other day. All summer with lactating cows and we get none of the shenanigans; this is where I would have expected some outdoor fucks to happen. * More antagonists and conflict : Samantha’s husband Ken introduced as another antagonist for the herd which when set up made me think Chekov's Gun : Ken’s going to be a bullock sub and Sam’s joining the herd. And besides setting up Eloise's motivation it didn't feel like working to a resolution with her. And from the petition, how or why would so many people sign has Evan interacted with that many in the months that have gone by? * The neighborhood ‘growing’ all those homes and the resentment of Phase 1 lots by Phase 2/3 lots ; I didn’t get a feel that the ‘hood was that big from the first installment or when Jaya’s husband was introduced (but that could be how I was reading it) It might be how I’ve read it and perceive the passage of time but it felt that the first 4 clients got recruited late winter/early spring with Rose coming on at the end of Spring/start of Summer. Now we jumped to end of Summer / early fall so I was thinking David from the Alisha bits had been dosed for nearly 6 months by the confrontation not the two or so that is mentioned in the text. [again probably how I read it but not might not have been intended]. The same for Ellie joining ‘early’ and changes seeming to be hot and cold with her. Some really big changes with full loads of cum early on but after months of taking daily loads it isn’t until Fall she gets a pussy. After the overnight losing a dick and testies waiting 6 months for a pussy seems inconsistent infection/transformation rates. It might be how I’m reading it but I would rather have Ellie describe months of her innards adjusting and virus growing a uterus. The ‘felt it over the weekend’ line felt trivial.

Red Panda Seven


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