Planet Blow-Up

I’m a living balloon now. Not literally, of course. I was just having fun blowing up what was my own slim body into a giant sphere. Just the feeling of being so big, full, and wide, getting closer and closer to the point of bursting, it’s the best feeling ever!

But if you’re wondering how that’s possible, it’s a pretty long story.

Light years away, in an alternate galaxy, is a weird, orange planet called Planet Blow-Up. On this planet, there are orange aliens with antennae that look a lot like life-size human gummies. None of these aliens are alike in comparison, but they share only one common purpose: turning anything and anyone they abduct into giant  balloons. First, they abduct you using worm holes in tiny, tiny packages, which lead straight to their planet in a blink of an eye. Next, using advanced alien technology, they transform, create, and rearrange every molecule of DNA from top to bottom until your body is superhumanly flexible and elastic, just like rubber, then inflate you to test your new limits, which vary on every test subject. Then they send you back home the same way you got there, with everyone else being none the wiser.

I found out this info the hard way one day.

It all started not too long ago. It was a day just like any other, and I was bored out of my mind. Every day, every hour, it’s the same old, same old, and nothing exciting ever happens in between. I just wished there was something, ANYTHING, to help me fight back against the boredom.

That was all about to change thanks to a tiny orange package I received in mail that very morning. I wasn’t sure how a tiny gift would help answer my prayers, but I opened it anyway. Next thing I knew, I was sucked into a wormhole, warping all the way over to Planet Blow-Up. Once there, I found myself face-to-face with two of those aforementioned aliens, one male, one female.

The male had a hold of me before I could even act, and strapped me on a metal bed. Then he slid the bed, along with me, into a giant test tube. Inside the tube, I was forced to endure different types of vibration, electrocution, and radiation. It transformed my entire body to be more flexible, more elastic, more rubbery. After only a few minutes of that, I was brought back out to cool for a bit. Then the male alien left for a bit, leaving me alone with the female.

The female alien unstrapped me from the metal bed and held onto me tight. She took the deepest breath she could manage, and then kissed me. For literally a second, it felt a little awkward, two beings from different planets making out with each other. But then, to my surprise, she started blowing into my mouth, filling up my improved body with air. I can already feel my body stretching, and I could hear balloon noises emitting from me. The female alien kept blowing into my mouth, and with every breath, I grew bigger and rounder. Everything apart from my head, hands, and feet kept expanding under her blow kisses. She kept blowing and blowing until I was a big round ball with divots for limbs, only half as big as the space around me.

At that moment, I thought I was going to burst. Pop like all the balloons that popped before me. But then the alien female stopped inflating me. She pressed my puffy cheeks together until air came out of my mouth. Just like that, I was deflating. I shrunk back down to size until all the air escaped from my body. I could still stand, but my body was all floppy and wrinkly and stretched out.

Shortly after, the male alien returned with a high-tech air compressor. He took the really, really, really long hose of it and placed it in my belly button. Then he turned the compressor on and I began to inflate again. I could feel my limbs round up already and spring apart, rendering me helpless again. I swelled and swelled, reaching my previous size, then surpassed it. The divots that are my limbs slowly disappeared as I grew, rounding me up perfectly on all sides. Before my body could even touch the walls or the roof of the test space, it all unfolded itself and opened up, giving me all the world to grow. I guess the aliens thought of any damages ahead of time.

As I continued to inflate, my head, feet, and hands sank deeper and deeper into my body. My cheeks were also puffed up from all the pressure inside me. I could also hear my body squeak and groan while my body suddenly turned transeculant. By then I was so big I could be seen within orbit, and there were zero traces of my head, feet, or hands around. Then my body, unable to keep growing, gave out one big groan, and popped with a thunderous BANG!!!

I fluttered down to the ground all deflated, feeling dizzy, with shards of my rubber skin floating all around me. The male alien grabbed my shriveled body before it landed on the floor, while the female had another tiny orange package ready.

That was the last thing I remembered before I conked out.

When I came to, I found myself back in my own house, like nothing happened. No experiments, no aliens, no ballooning. Guess it was all just a dream. Or was it? It all seemed and felt so real. Only one way to find out for sure. I breathed and held in the biggest breath I could manage.

Then my belly began to stretch…