CCC - Celebration, Competition & Coins

What does Jake call Villy’s swords? Viper blades

Corinna Cox

So now that there are two Jakes, how does he still have twice as hard of a time as ever with getting a date? Just an Observation: Anyone ever notice how this story could be the classical retelling of the exploits of Jake "the Snake" Roberts.

Lykanthropy

Jake really gets in touch with is inner s-jake, if only there wasn't so much fisting involved.

Ryo_mancer

How do you explain to a baby slypeon eyes/ elemental how babies are made? You make them wait outside your bedroom room until morning.

Kurrenc7

Jake and Villy walk into a bar. . . Everyone is immediately knocked out cold.

Nemiea Tempest

Both Carmen and Silphy think he is a Fun Guy.

Mark Corwin

What does Rick Troll sing while gardening? "Never Gonna Give You Up"

Mark Corwin

Is Villy thiccc?

Savitr

... Except Jake at the bar, who shakes his head and recommends Villy invest more in his perception stat.

Kanyau

What would happen if Jake's Valley gained sentience? Heaven Knows. What if it happened in other cities? Well, things might pylon.

Kanyau

What does Jake pair with a suit? A bow tie :)

Cass

I dont care what Zogarth says shrooms are delicious and fun. And the coin is tits lol

C.W.

Why doesn't Villy drink coffee? It makes him viperactive

Kronos07

Jake: so villy I saw this guy running around with a weird bow do you think that would work with a spacial storage enchantment? Villy: Well I dont see why not ... was it a german dude? I think I saw his youtube the other nite when we were drinking... https://youtu.be/PyWRIAvibPE

Zed

Jake comes back from classes to find Villy drinking a beer. Villy looks at Jake and bursts out laughing. This goes on for a half hour. Jake: What's so funny? Villy: I finally got to look at some of your culture recently. It showed me the truth (bursts out in laughter again) Jake: What truth? Villy: About you and your bloodline (still laughing) Jake questioning look Villy pointing at Jake: Your the Final Girl with the bloodline to match. (giggling) Jake hand to face.

Conan Whalen-mckain

I wonder how our prodigious alchemist got Carmen in the mood? Elixir,

thomas johnson

You could say in Jake’s fights he doesn’t have mush room for error …

Savitr

A patreon is sitting at home reading novels when he hears a knock at the door. Begrudgingly, he stops and makes his way to the door. Once at the door, he hears Zogarth's voice from outside. Zogarth: Knock knock! Patreon: Who's there? Zogarth: Cliffhanger. Patreon: Cliffhanger who? The patron stood at the door for hours, anxiously awaiting a notification, but there was none.. It was Saturday.

John Dorey

Tried my hand at making a meme. https://hosting.photobucket.com/images/i/orca413/6lgx5h.jpg

kim anderson

mushrooms... they are the joke

lucas rodger

Why didn't the chosen accept the form of the viper? He would have to "wrestle" with the idea that calling him "Jake the Snake" would be a "federational" offense.

Skchoad

When Haven decided to keep some livestock, they decided oddly enough that they wanted wildebeest. Equally oddly, Jake became close to them, naming this one Wildy, that one Beesty, feeding them by hand when he wanted to relax. One night, while Jake was asleep, a few wild bachelor wildebeest wandered in to mingle with the tame ones. When Jake woke and looked out, he immediately knew new gnu had joined his herd.

Jonathan

How do you call a primordial at a party? A malefic V.I.Per

Telmo Brito

What do you get when you cross a snake and a mushroom? * Jake's Villy. * I'm sorry...

Chiimuuch

*knock knock* "who's there?" "Themaleficviper" "The who?" "The magnificent wiper, I'm here to wipe the floors, please let me in"

Folke Wester

Two Jakes walk into a bar… two leave but only one walks out…

Max Weitzel

What blood type is Jake? Typo.

Jonathan

What do you get when you cross the root of eternal resentment with a pretty cool weapon? Like, three chapters.

Jonathan Joyce

I just like to imagine what Valdemar would say if Jake ever told him about watching him kick Villy's ass

Isaiah Peters

I have 2 absolutely terrible jokes that will disappoint you: 1. Knock Knock Who's There? Silly Silly Who? Stop being so Silly Villy 2. How did Jake react when he realized his Hawk friend had a girlfriend? His eyes got all Mystie

Zachary Turley

Bold move having a mushroom sided coin after conditioning your audience to deplore them.

Phwoar

How many Space Mages does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, one to spatially expand the inside, and one to teleport them in.

Eofad

If you think about it, sneks is just a head with a tail

HardcoreLace756

Here’s one. why is Umbra the god of the court of shadows? Because the court of shadows is Umbra-geous

Gavreil Lyons

I am very unfunny but here goes. how many members of the court of shadows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they like it dark.

Gavreil Lyons

What's Jake's favourite exercise? A row

MorningDawn

Also, cause this is fun- Villy: “…” Jake: “…” Villy: “…” Jake: “…” Villy: “…” Jake: “…” Villy & Jake: “10,331,567,042.5!” Villy: “Damn it, how?! I’m a god!!!” Jake: “A god of losing. Now chug.” Villy: *skols Atlantic Ocean*

Books4Millenia

This shouldn't ve funny. Alas.

Simon Andriessen

We can say Jake is a true champ(ign)on of planet earth and mostly a fun guy, not lamell-at all, i'll spore you the truffle and stop now

Fab

Tom Holland: “My spidey senses are tingling!” Jake: “…son?”

Books4Millenia

Great minds think alike ;-) Jake would screw in the lightbulb by holding it and waiting for the room to revolve around himself.

Niels Valkenborgh

Before the myriad paths: Do you know da wae After the myriad paths: I still don’t know da fucking wae

Noah

I think of Jake and Villy’s bro dynamic with this joke…

Illy

A Boy Scout asks his scout leader, “Sir, is this snake poisonous?” The scout leader looks at it and says, “No, that snake’s not poisonous at all.” So the boy picks up the snake, which bites him. The boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror. The scout leader says, “But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let’s get it right next time, boys.”

Illy

Today’s my birthday as well. Happy Birthday Zog 🥳

Blightdad

How many members of the Holy Church does it take to change a light bulb? One to screw it in, and ten more to sacrifice themselves so it lights up. Edit: Wow, I just read though the earlier posts and found an almost identical joke. I'm rather shocked, as I made this up myself and I swear I didn't see that beforehand. Sorry if it looks like I copied you!

11037

Jake is appointed head administrator for the Milky Way

Peter Baird

The reason jake likes to aim straight up has simply yet to dawn upon him. The true power of the stance is that it creates the outline of a mushroom with his bow.

Daniel Mallais

Knock knock. Who's there? Mush Mush who? Fuck you

Max Pollack

Villy is a cool dragon... He doesn't smoke, but he does vipe(r) !

Nicolas Maganto

I would even say Jake boned himself into Creation !

Nicolas Maganto

the future Jake will have a mushroom love interest, believe it

Sterban Friz

“What does this bloodline of yours do?” “Oh it is truly sad, it is called Bloodline of Being Yo Daddy!”

Domini

It has too mooshroom.

ADOLFO VILLEGAS

Jake wouldn't like a cow in an empty room.

ADOLFO VILLEGAS

What’s the difference between Jake and sun-Jake? Sun-Jake has projectile dysfunction. (Happy Birthday!)

Jake Rogers

Mushrooms

The 49th Khan

Jake walks into a bar and says "The high (level) balls are on me!"

Christopher Royce

https://i.ibb.co/vJ7P4C8/Primal-Hunter-meme-J.jpg a simple meme

Christopher Abernathy

Jake has mushroom in his heart for animal companions. I

Gunnar Crider

Happy birthday

Morpheus Krell

Villy walks into a bar. Everyone falls prostrate to the ground with stifled wails of despair. .. except Jake at the bar who looks around and asks the bartender hiding behind the bar if he can take his glass to go

Matt

Phantomshade Panther? I hardly Phantomshade know her!

TheJammiest2

https://imgur.com/EdTxMB3 very good knock knock joke meme I made because I'm a tryhard

Alfcam

considering the item used to breach the virtual gap is a bone, isn't it fair to say Jake boned the virtual gap? ;)

Simon Andriessen

What did Jake say to Miranda before he left Earth? Nothing because he forgot.

Eric

Knock, knock “Who’s there?” “Villy.” “Villy who?” “Villy you glad it isn’t a blue mushroom!” Ding! [Twin-Fang Whirlwind Joke (Epic)] – May your humor embrace the wind as a knock, knock joke is born from your strikes. Allows the hunter to infuse both humor with potent wind mana and perform a knock, knock strike to create a whirlwind joke that cuts and rebuffs all foes around you. Twin-Fang Whirlwind Joke can be repeatedly performed to further empower the whirlwind and persist for a small period even after the skill is no longer performed. Adds a small bonus to the effect of Agility, Intelligence, and Strength when using Twin-Fang Whirlwind Joke.

Brian Lawler

Knock knock Jake: I already know who is there because OP BLOODLINE

Erik

the one with the snake should be tails, as snakes, unlike humans, have tails ;).

Simon Andriessen

Why did Jake decide to quit his old job and go hunting full time? Because he heard deer hunters get huge bucks!

James Nagy

What is Jake's title after killing the bunch of shit throwing apes? ... Primate Hunter

Mantiqore

I’m kinda glad we got a break from the order and alchemy, I really needed a palate cleanser. … … Ok, I’m done.

Baconater

Primal hunter? I barely even know her! Congrats on making it this far your story has been one of the consistent highlights of my days.

Metal(Liz)ard🏳️‍⚧️

A baby seal walks into a club . . .

Tim Patry

corefish665

Thanks for all the amazing work so far. Happy Birthday!

Tempest

Why is Caleb okay with being in the rain? He works under the Umbra-ella!

ShootingGoats

Knock knock Jake: *opens door* 🍄 Jake: ....wtf *grabs closes door* Knock Knock Jake: *opens door* 🍄 🍄 🍄 🍄 🍄 🍄 🍄 🍄🍄 🍄 🍄 🍄🍄 🍄 🍄 🍄 What the actual fuck? (Villy snickers) Jake: Fuck you Villy. *Slams door* Anyways terrible jokes aside thanks for such great content and I cannot wait to see where this tale goes. Also Happy Birthday 🍄!

Jonathan Land

It's a good thing Jake isn't Russian. Then he would be spending quality time with Willy.

Grond (James)

It’s not really a joke per say, but when I envision Jake and the Viper’s first meeting I just pictured this guy 😂 https://youtu.be/Ti4sqG85FU4

Austin Mueller

What do you call a Hunter who stubbed his toe? Jake “Pain”

Marvek The Warlord

Duskleaf asked Jake why he carried weapons with him while crafting herbicide poisons. Jake replied while rolling a mushroom around in his hands, "I guess I'm just a fun-guy." Duskleaf snorted. Jake chuckled. The mushroom laughed. Jake viciously stabbed the mushroom. It was a great time.

BubblyGhost

HBD homie

Bilal Williams

Having trouble remembering, did Slyphie have to learn how to fly or did she just wing it?

Johnny Smithers

A Deepdweller Fungalmancer walks into a bar in Haven. Jake looks up and says, "Hey, we don't serve your kind here!" The Fungalmancer says, "Why not? I'm a fun-guy!"

Cardio27

Stupid Jake did not want Sylphies help to hide them in the Jungle so Sylphie is going to stealth even harder. But how do you make Perfection better? WAIT. If ONE Sylphie has the BEST Sneaks…then….. *’DING!’ You evolved [Stealth (common)] --> [Sigh-Clone (Unique)]

Nils Stellmacher

Villy: "why are mushrooms so filling?" Jake: "......why?" Villy: "Because once you’ve eaten them, you don’t have mush-room left in your stomach."

Tomer Yud

W

Nicky Edge

A q p

Nicky Edge

And the maid is a chosen of the Malefic Wiper?

Niels Valkenborgh

What's the name of the Viper's Residence? - Villa Stromoz

cRAZiE

(Sorry in advance, I have a pretty wonky sense of humor) Somebody finding a big ass diamond lying next to the road on a holy world previously inhabited by intelligent dinosaurs who worshiped the goddess of light a view millennia ago: "Holy shit" A random passersby: "I mean, you might not be wrong..."

Mercury313

Hey did you guys hear? Jake used to really hate mushrooms, but after awhile they just seemed to grow on him.

Whale

Why could Jake never be the chosen of Valdemar? Because then Jake would be the Prime Ale Hunter. Path of Myriad choices go!!

Skchoad

A: Knock Knock. B: Who’s There? A: Eratosthenes and his Sieve B: Who’s That? A: An Ancient Prime Hunter Not a great joke, but the best I could come up with.

John Smith

Happy birthday and hope you are having a good time! And I'm hilariously unfunny so... The primal hunter? More like the primal hunterS... Ha.. Get it?

Eduard Marciuc

They all join a ritual, die, make a big flash of light, and then there's no one to complain to in the darkness

BenjiVoid

Happy Birthday!🎂

Danielle Warvel

dam nice one

Tomer Yud

What would this series be called if Jake did rugby instead of archery? The Primal Punter

Kageryu

Too bad I'm not funny at all. Congrats and happy birthday, Zogarth. It's great to see how successful you've become while enjoying your excellent story.

Jon

What's the Viper's favourite horror movie? Snakes on a Plane. What's Sylphie's favourite horror movie? "RE(eeeee)!"

Tarodan

Are you talking about the mushroom?

Tarodan

Also mad respect that this is a recurve bow and not the traditional longbow. I hate that fantasy and DnD have permanently dissed the short bow in favor of the long bow.

Conan Whalen-mckain

How many Holy Church members does it take to screw in a lightbulb? They fail after 10 self sacrifices and then blame the room for not accepting the light.

Niels Valkenborgh

A hunter, a snake and an alchemist sit on a coach. Everyone is poisened. That's not actually the pun. They are just having fun.

Definitely (Not) a Necromancer

Not a view I ever want to see from my mushroom tip.

Conan Whalen-mckain

Detrox

A primal hunter walks into a bar. Youd have thought with all that perception he would've seen it.

Beardo

Ohhh damn that’s a sick coin!!

MahoganyWood

I don't wear bows, I shoot them.

Firinen

I definitely won't win. Unlike Sim-Jake I don't have a humorous Bone (of the Virtual Gap) in my body. EDIT: Also happy birthday!

Drew

Can't decide which side of the coin is tails when one side literally has a tail on it. Yea, ok buddy. Lol

RottenTangerine

Snek

Lazy Lemon