Seeking Court Cases

The Rules Lawyers v. Their DM (me) To the Supreme Crit Justices and their loyal bailiff: May it please the Court. I am a DM for a group of fellow law students. The game itself has gone on since we started law school nearly two and a half years ago, and has evolved quite a lot. Recently, the party of lvl 12 PC’s came upon a modern day fantasy town (think: Elmville of Fantasy High). Rather than engage with anything remotely interesting, the party immediately asked if there was a courthouse in town, and held themselves out as lawyers in order to make gold. After some panicked law practice and trial mechanics creation on my part, they enjoyed successful careers as fantasy attorneys. The Rogue has established herself a booming criminal defense practice, the Warlock works quietly in trusts & estates, the Wizard works in intellectual property for the many arcane technologies coming out of this town, and the Bard represents musical and acting talent as an agent. All of them have made staggering amounts of gold due to their collective strange choice to focus on charisma and intelligence. But this is where it gets interesting. None of these characters canonically have passed this jurisdiction’s bar exam, or gone to law school. They’re all engaging in the unauthorized practice of law, which is a crime. Not to mention the Rogue is a literal criminal, the Wizard steals ideas to make his own inventions, the Bard sleeps with his clients, and the Warlock has committed tax fraud at least once. Where there are lawyers, there must be character & fitness inquiries. This fictional jurisdiction’s board of bar examiners has cracked down on the PCs’ firm, and now my PCs are all mad at me because they’re being audited, sued, and have had their names dragged in the dirt by the press. Their firm will likely never recover if they lose at this character & fitness hearing, and they stand to lose a lot of gold due to judgments and fines. Did I take it too far by creating the fictional regulatory body for lawyers to spoil their fun, or are these players crumbling under a burden of their own creation? Warmly, Ben H.

Ben Hummel

May it please the court and the lowly bailiff Jake, In my house game, I have a house rule that when a player kills an enemy on a critical hit, they get to break the laws of physics vis-a-vis Mortal Kombat, to add a little bit of extra video-gamey type fun to combat. The main bad guy for the entire campaign that I had lined up for them was a lich that had shown up early to test the party's strength. I wasn't worried about the prospect of the party killing the lich, as the lich's soul returns to its phylactery and eventually allows him to respawn. However, in the fight, one of my players landed the killing blow with his axe on the lich with a critical hit, and declared "I hit him so hard that I shatter his soul, thus permanently killing the lich." I wasn't particularly keen on this for a number of reasons, but my ruling was that he was attempting to break the laws of metaphysics and magic, and thus his physical axe wasn't capable of destroying the lich's soul. An argument ensued but the player eventually reluctantly agreed. I bring this issue before the court. Here are a few additional factors to consider: 1) The arguing player in question does have a track record of getting mopey when he doesn't get his way 2) The arguing player is also an experienced DM, and knows about a lich's phylactery. But his Barbarian with an 8 intelligence definitely doesn't. This was definitely him metagaming. That said, the argument kind of brought down the mood after what was a cool fight. Was I being too harsh on my players or was I justified in sticking to my guns? I accept whatever judgment the court has to offer. All the best, Rich S

Richard Spoehr

Seems to me divine intervention is a "skill" and not magic..... I'd like to know the "official" answer to this haha

Victoria Shotts

Good afternoon tough-but-fair Court Justices and Executioner Jake. I wish to sentence my first ever DM for manslaughter. His reckless actions led to the premature deaths of our groups interest in D&D, and I believe he should be sentenced in kind. Following the stories that 5E was so beginner-friendly, some friends and I decided to finally try out D&D. We all bought the Players Handbook and thoroughly studied the rules, and then a friend of a friend offered to DM. The DM asserted that he had decades of experience - he used to run 2E and 3E games at conventions - so learning and running 5E would be simple. I present my evidence from our first two sessions: 1. When a friend introduced his rogue, covered in scars from underground fights, the DM quickly stopped him: "You have 0 experience. you've never been in a fight in your life. those scars must be from something else" 2. I built a high AC Paladin to be a tank. The DM ignored 5e rules, and every attack was a contested roll between attacker and defender. Everyone had a 50% chance to hit, regardless of stats 3. He gave us a sort of "pokedex" so we could figure out monster stats. We bought him the Monster Manual to help since he still hadn't gotten around to learning 5E. The next session, he handed us two printed stat sheets with THAC0 and other deprecated stats. 4. After one session of telling us everything we missed by not being curious enough, he set up several traps the next session to penalize our curiosity. I know you will do what's right and respect the memory of my friends (or at least, their lost interest in D&D) and sentence that DM accordingly. -Phil

To my beloved justices and my interesting bailiff. I am “living” in Boston while my husband is a travel nurse here. I am being a very good PC but I still managed to get COVID + the day of your show here. I’ve never been more excited for something and now those hopes are adorable little COVID viruses. Crit justices and the bailiff guy, I submit myself for sadness sentencing.

Ali Dunn

Josh M. Writes: May it please the 3 Titans of Owl Bear Egg Wealth Justices and Poor Eggless Baliff, I Humbly prostrate my lowsome self before you as I have gravely sinned against Dice Christ and my fellow PC's. I DM'd my first campaign for a few of my friends 2 years ago which took the party to a decrepit overgrown chapel courtyard where they faced off against a hag and a shambling mound. During the battle 3 of the PCs used their turns to set up what I would call thee sickest of combo moves, One player got launched in the air by another PC who pierced his sword into the head of the shambling mound and hung with his sword plunged, then another PC cast heat metal on the blade to burn it from the inside. They all rolled well on their checks on attacks. This is where my sin begins: looking up the stats of the shambling mound, it is described to have resistance to fire. Me trying to be "by the book" told my PCs that this shambling mound takes no fire damage and only piercing as it is unaffected by the heat/fire. They seemed a little disappointed but shook it off and the game continued. After the game I realized I was ashamed for not giving them additional damage or anything for their sick planned out combo, and on top of that I realized that fire resistance does not mean fire immunity so I should have taken damage. To this day I cringe at my mistake and live a life of DM shame. Oh crit justices, I kiss they dirt at your feet seeking penance for my grave error.

Josh Meier

Dear most admirable judges and most undesirable Ballif. I come not for your judgement but for the judgement of dice christ. I have committed a sin of leaving the discord before the game was over. My friends dm invited me on his stream for 3 episodes. However, this was at the end of the 50 episodes, so it was mainly role-playing their loves, who would become the time God and the build up for this long arching game. I knew nothing both in game and out and felt lost the whole time. So the 3rd session I made up a story of how my friend got stuck in the snow and I needed to get them out, I went to play volleyball instead. Getting stuck in the snow the next day too. Was I being impatient in how late I was brought in the game? Should I have kept playing even though I knew nothing and was about 7-10 levels below the others, never saw any conflict though.

Olaf Dies in Frozen 2

(Calinus) May it please the court and my fellow dwarven bailiff. I offer to you the case of the Murderous Gesticulation: Playing AD&D 2nd Edition a couple of decades ago we had consequences for critical failures on rolls that generally ended up as a dropped weapon or accidentally hitting a teammate. We were near the end of the adventure and winning the battle with the BBEG when I (a Dwarven Fighter) swung my axe for a killing blow while physically making a downward chopping motion with my hands to emphasize the attack. I rolled a 1. Instead of dropping my weapon or tripping and falling prone, however, I was informed that my axe blade had fallen off while it was overhead and DECAPITATED my still healthy dwarf. Cure light wounds wasn't exactly going to work. The DM also stated at the time that the sole reason for my characters death was my pantomime followed by a crit fail and that had I "just swung normally" he wouldn't have been instakilled. We ended the campaign at the end of that adventure and moved on without hard feelings, but the experience has lived in a dark corner of my mind since. Should flavor be punishable by perma-death or did the DM lash out unnecessarily?

Can you dispel Divine Intervention? Hello great and wise justices and the most amazing bailiff. My Party was playing a Level 20 one shot with brand new characters where we tried to save Christmas from Orcus. We were getting our collective asses kicked when one of party members who was playing a cleric used divine intervention and succeeded. We got buffs that the DM gave us(full health, resistance to damage and plus 10 AC) and the tide started to turn. Then around two turns later the DM uses Orcus and casts a dispel magic on the divine intervention and took all we gained away. It was difficult DC but it felt kind of petty. Without the buffs we eventually had a TPK and did not save Christmas. Can you even dispel divine intervention or was our DM being overzealous when it came to the power of Orcus. I leave the decision in the Court’s capable hands. Thanks for your time.

To the ever effervescent justices, ye powers that be, and to the not-insignificantly glowing bailiff: I come to you with what might be a case and might be a confession, depending on how you rule. I work at a game store running RPGs. One campaign I run is set in a human empire of my own creation that is super religious and against both magic and whatever else they consider wild or untamed. During a crackdown where the govt officials were looking for all the magical residents of the capital city and trying to take them into custody, one of the PCs, a wood elf Druid committed to protecting the wild forests, decided to get a head start before the rest of the party woke up by visiting a covered market and warning the magical folks there to get out. This player had been struggling with staying engaged (we’re virtual) and with moments where his character took damage so I decided to give the character a nice walk through the city and a special moment in the market, finding meditation in the hustle and bustle. But instead the player proceeded to tell me that he wanted his character to call lightning down on the rickety wooden and canvas roof above the underground market. I pointed out that this would light the roof on fire, he said ok. I mentioned that the roof, being noticeably unstable, would have a good likelihood of falling down on the many innocent people below. He said he still wanted to do it. I gave him as many outs as I could, mentioning individual npcs and even children who were going to be hurt. The other players tried to stop him. Nothing would sway him - since his character was chaotic, he was committed. Finally I lost my patience and let him do it, and I didn’t pull any punches with the consequences. A lot of innocent people were hurt and killed, including npcs that the party had met. Others were taken into custody for the act of terror that this player had committed. The other player characters (and the other players) also didn’t pull punches in their reactions when they found out what had happened, and there was enough tension that I stopped everything and we had A Meeting about all the feelings. As a DM, I pride myself on providing realistic consequences to my players’ actions - I believe it’s part of giving them agency in the game. But as a paid DM, I don’t know if I should have softened the blow and given him what he wanted. I love challenging my players’ strategic ability and their ethical and moral logic, but did I go too far? (Also I’m so sorry this is so long, I am not good at being concise but I love all of work and trust in the judgment of the court implicitly)

May it please The Highest of courts, The most Valiant and honored Judges Axford, Murphy and Tanner, and the Steadfast Bailiff Jake. I come to you as a player who is accepting his fate as a Campaign runner (former, i have learned my lesson in campaigns since), and ask humbly for your judgement. in my first Campaign i played as a Dragonborn Barbarian, and was a hot headed rotten teen who get upset when he rolls bad. i had multiple bad rolls, and decided about 40 minutes in, that my character would enter a bloodrage, kill the main NPC and 3 other critical characters, and my partner. yes, it was a dick move. but i come before this court asking for mercy. thankfully it was a one shot with my wife and long time friend, but the story never escapes a new campaign if my wife or that friend are arround.

Mountain_Dad

May it please the court, the judges, and the bailiff, I present the case of the frost giant frat party. My party was sent by an all-powerful wizard to collect some supplies to brew a batch of beer. One of these supplies included hops grown on the mountain by the frost giants. The frost giants were partiers and made a deal with my party to provide some hops should we beat them in 3 out of 4 games. Two of these games were beer pong and flip cup, which required sleight of hand checks and con saves. I argued that my character, a college of lore bard who is employed as a professor, should be allowed to use a performance check instead of a sleight of hand check because these games are just as much about showing off and putting on a performance as they are about dex skills. My party agreed, but the dm did not. We still won the games, got the hops, and brewed the beer, but I still contend that party/drinking games should allow for performance checks in place of sleight of hand, especially for a professor who has certainly been in this environment before!

May it please the court, the most esteemed judges and the not-so humble bailiff Jake, I present the case of the teenager meta-gamer. I run an isekai-style home game with my older brother, two of my best friends and one of their younger brothers where they all play themselves in a fantasy setting. We all played for the first time in months recently since we are on break from college, and an NPC, previously a DMPC who adventured with the party was polymorphed into a young red shadow dragon and forced to fight the party. He was killed in the fight and when my brother, who was closest to the NPC requested that the younger brother who was lord of the castle they were in, and has cleric levels help him he said he wouldn't because "it's just an NPC," and "he was on my kill list anyway." My brother, furious attacked him and put him down making death saves. He was quickly healed by an attendant, and the guards arrested my brother, but there was much argument at the table afterwards. The meta-gamer has expressed this kind of sentiment before, and claims that since he knows so much about 5e lore and mechanics, and I had intended for them to be able to make strategic use of that knowledge in game, then his reaction would be to treat anyone from this setting as a random NPC, since he would genuinely believe he is in some kind of game world. This is the second time this has happened, as an NPC Cleric who accompanied the party during their first session was killed, and the NPC argument led to a fight then too. How should I deal with this borderline psychopath at my table? I am definitely changing his alignment from Neutral good, but is there more I should do to prevent future arguments, or is he right as he claims to live as though he believes he is in a game, even though he has a wife and a castle in this world. P.S. I am planning on having his wife leave him because I can't stand the thought of even his fictional character having sex with some poor woman who he thinks of as a measly NPC.