can't control my excitement

I can't control my excitement.

With multiple projects running and multiple songs being written in parallel, I feel that my excitement is out of control.

As of yesterday, I had a list of seven songs on a notecard that I might work on today.

I can spend my time on any of them as of today, although they have their own priorities.

I'm going to proceed with the songs according to the plan I made yesterday,

I feel like I have to do something different today..."

But I'm working, so I'm going to do what I have to do.

However, I just can't get into the groove.

Music is supposed to swing my body and soul,

But when I am playing unexciting music, each movement is cold and linear, and I don't feel like swinging.

There are only so many hours in a day to take on a challenge.

The worker recognizes this and says to himself, "I don't know if I should devote the rest of the day to this cold, non-swinging time... or if I should play something else...."

The workman in me recognizes this state of affairs, and I fly into a rage.

It's outrageous to choose a song based on a "mood" that could change at any moment! I thought to myself, "I'm not going to listen to a song without excitement.

But, can you really feel excitement when you listen to a song that was written without excitement?

There are many times when a composer feels excitement.

There are songs that excite me while I am listing them, and there are songs that excite me while I am working on other songs, when I imagine the future and think, "Oh, if I try this approach on that song, there might be a great chemical reaction! I might try this on another song and get excited imagining the future.

On the other hand, there are songs that I have to work on now or it will be too hard later, and I don't feel excited even for a second, and I just have to get through the hard time with the energy to connect hope to the future.

The most exciting situations are the ones that combine anticipation, hope, hardship, and energy.

That is, the moment when one of the many ideas that you have been warming up to for years is finally ready to take shape, and you wonder if you will actually have a great chemical reaction.

At the moment of success, along with a spontaneous gut-punch, all the years of excitement will be fulfilled as reality.

I wrote that there are only so many hours in a day to take on a challenge,

It is only a challenge, so sometimes you can succeed at several songs in a row,

Sometimes I succeed in several songs in a row, and sometimes I end up with nothing but failures for a few days.

Today, I have already tried three songs and rejected all of them.

I've learned a lot from that, so I feel that the next song I choose will be better.

Let's do our best.