The Nanny Witch (Sub Special Commission #6)

I wrote a series of these commissions for free, on stream, to celebrate hitting 100 subscribers. Enjoy!

Brindle Hopebane was considering getting her last name changed. It was an old family name, but people always got the wrong impression, just because she had that name.

And because she was a witch, she supposed.

A posse of too-big-for-their-armor adventurers were coming after her, again, and she was sick of it. Every time, they’d come for her, she’d have to defend herself, and then she’d have to find a new place to live before the guild sent anyone else after her.

No more. This time, she was going to do something different.

“She’s over here!” one of the adventurers cried, some sort of paladin type with the shiny armor. He probably thought he was ‘ridding the world of evil’ or some such. ‘Her cottage is the one with the petunias on it!”

Brindle had set up the binding traps that morning. Nobody was going to be getting past her welcome mat, let alone laying a finger on her.

So, she poured her tea and waited.

The paladin kicked down the door, stepping inside confidently. “Foul witch, your time has come!”

“Please,” she replied, rolling her eyes as the binding spell wrapped itself around him.

He didn’t seem to mind. His armor glimmered, fighting off the magic, and he laughed. “You think that your spells can touch me, a divinely blessed champion of- Whoa!”

The trap-door by her entrance triggered, dropping him into a smooth-walled pit fifteen feet deep. She’d put cushions down at the bottom, but there’d be no way for him to climb out without help.

As he fell, the party’s ranger came in, shooting an arrow her way, but it glanced off her wards and she caught them with the same binding spell that the paladin had ignored.

All that was left was the rogue, who was a couple feet behind her, ready with a knife to stab. They thought they were clever, being sneaky, right up until the net fell on their head.

She sat up, sipped her tea, and looked at the trapped adventurers. “Children,” she scoffed. “Trying to play at heroes. I think it’s time someone taught you all a lesson.”

Walking to her cupboard, ignoring any danger they might have posed, she took out her spellbook and flipped through it. “Let’s see… snakes… summoning, ah! Shrinking.” With a flick of her wrist and an incantation, the three adventurers all suddenly flashed and became a quarter their original size, maybe two feet tall at the most. Even that paladin’s protection didn’t help him, not detecting the shrinking spell as a malicious attack.

Laughing, she watched as the three adventurers yelped in surprise, realizing their suddenly diminutive stature and that their armor, weapons, and other supplies were all now far too big for them to use.

With another wave of her hand, Brindle floated the three adventurers up towards her. Now that they were tiny, it was easy - they weighed barely anything, and the levitation was too strong for them to fight.

Smirking, she waved her hand again, and their oversized clothing - that they were holding close to their body with awkward grips - flew away, leaving the three of them totally naked. The paladin tried to cover his crotch and the ranger crossed her arms over her chest, but the rogue didn’t do anything except to blush.

“Let us go, foul witch!” the paladin screamed, his voice tiny and high.

“Children,” Brindle repeated. “You attacked me, you’ll recall. I think you’ll all see things more clearly after a time-out and a nap.”

With a simple incantation, her cupboards flew open, and pink fabric, thick layers of cotton, and a flurry of metal pins flew past her, diving towards the adventurers. They all flinched, but it was no attack - instead, the thick, absorbant cotton wrapped itself in layers between their legs, pinning into place, and the pink fabric wrapped around them and formed itself into three identical onesies.

“We will not stand for this!” The paladin roared, legs splaying from the puffy diaper between them. It was almost cute,

With one more spell, Brindle sent the three of them floating into her guest room, where three simple, wooden cribs were set up - and enchanted so that the adventurers wouldn’t be able to get out on their own.

She’d let them go… once they learned their lesson.