2021 Roundup and a glimpse at the Future.

The new year has come and the newest release of MIST dropped two weeks ago. As there isn't really enough material to write a Monday Update just yet, I am gonna use this chance to review the past year and talk a little bit about the future.

2021 has been the biggest year for MIST yet. The amount of feedback, comments and especially new patrons is astonishing and certainly more than I had expected. All 4 girls are now revealed, there is a bunch of content, a bunch of scenes and the story is very slowly nearing it's climax.

I am honestly not sure if I have specifically mentioned this yet, but this is also the year that I started working fulltime on MIST. Something I was aiming for when I started making these games. Being able to work on games and make a living off it is a dream come true and I can't say often enough how grateful I am for all the support. And while I do think that MIST and the effort I am putting into it deserve the backing, I still know that even if you like something, going that extra step of providing financial support is special. Thank you very much for it. Without it I literally wouldn't have the time to keep going.

2021 has also been big for me/395games. When I decided to make games I had already crafted a whole bunch of tabletop RPG's that were all kinda bad, but showed me the ropes and gave me experience in designing games. But putting that into an actual VN style game and making the code and graphics to go with it was something completely different.

Ever since I started there was a discrepancy between my ideas and my technical skills. I had an idea of how to make a game, but I was completely new to 3D graphics and coding. I thought of something, but wasn't able to put it into the game like I imagined it. Be it mechanics, graphics, dialog, whatever.

Now don't get me wrong. These limiations are the perfect breeding ground for creativity. I think having boundaries and being forced to work around them makes you come up with interesting stuff and I don't think it has hurt the game. But I was always pushing and reaching and trying to get out of those constraints.

Now, after almost 3 years of making games, for the first time, I feel like I am slowly getting to that point. MIST has allowed me to learn so much, that these barriers are getting lower. I do not think they will ever disappear completely, nor do I think it would be good if they were to. But slowly acquiring the skills and the eye to not only think of something, but actually put it into practice feels very liberating.

From the graphics, to the sound, to the writing, the mechanics and their coding needs and even just how efficient I am able to keep working even when motivation is low, i've improved at all of them. And again, I know it sounds cheesy, but it wouldn't be possible if you weren't there enjoying the game.

There were also many downs that I don't want to leave out.  From Android versions never, ever working and stressing me out every single release, to what feels like weekly calls with my insurance company and the tax office, most of these downs are small and to be expected. Others aren't though and have troubled me for a long time. I've often told you guys that I want to be transparent and so I decided to talk about a problem that has been with me for many months now.

When I started working on MIST, I was bursting with energy and motivation. I couldn't think of a single thing I'd rather do than spend every single day working on the game as much as my life allowed me to.

Since then, as described above, I've learned a lot and reached many a goal and something very mundane happened. I lost motivation. I've been working over two years on this game and at this point, I just want it to be finished. That, paired with the fatigue of barely taking breaks over the past three years has me in a state where I want nothing more than the game to be done.

And this is something I struggled with and still do at times. Does this mean I am not suited for game development? If I can barely hold out three years, how is the future gonna look? I still worry about this at times. But when I lie in bed at night and my thoughts start turning and keeping me from falling asleep I always reach the same conclusion. I want to keep making games. I seriously love this work and don't want to do anything else right now. Motivation is great in kickstarting a project, but it doesn't finish it. That's not a bad thing, that is just how it is. I am basically at the point where the hobby that makes me money is becoming a real job. And it is exactly the job that I want to do. So even when I am not looking forward to every single day, I'm still looking forward to the majority of days and I really, really want to deliver MIST as a finished game in the best way I can, without cutting corners or rushing it. I think that is one of the biggest lessons MIST can teach me. Learning to bring a big project to it's conclusion before rushing towards the next shiny thingie that excites me and refills the motivation batteries.

I still want to learn, to improve and to make an exciting porngame with great animations, cute girls and an intersting story. Nothing about that has changed.

But that is for the future. Some of you might have heard me mention that I am planning my next game already. Which is true and as I know now was a bad idea and made me lose focus on MIST. But I am not gonna talk about that project yet. Why? Because of what I've mentioned. For now all the planning is on hold and I am gonna focus 100% on MIST. Once it's finished and I've released it on Steam we can start talking about the future again.

And one other thing. I've mentioned being a bit fatigued. Part of it is me not realising that when your job is your hobby it is really helpful to actually leave the PC alone when taking time off. So I am gonna take the next week off and this time I am actually visiting family in another part of Germany. This should make it easier to recuperate. Afterwards I am gonna continue with MIST. I've already made a few new backgrounds this week and am very happy with how they turned out! I've learned something new and tried implementing it after playing some genshin impact for the first time.

That is all from me for this week. You'll hear from me soon! Happy new year to all of you, even though it's a bit late.