Before I became Greeneyedwolfking - KINGS JOURNAL

Normally a Kings Journal is about random (fun) topics or interesting places.
For my anniversary I decided to write about something more personal:
What did I do before I came here?!

Well, let´s start simple. I am 29 years old. If you have ever wondered about my age.
And now the super short summary of my childhood:
- born in isolated countryside
- poor family (divorced parents)
- complicated childhood
- moved a lot
The end XD

Just kidding. It´s not the end. Let´s have a look at the time before and why I came here.

I decided to do something with art after leaving school. But I didn´t know precisely what and I ended in an university to become an art teacher.
My parents liked this - teachers are paid well here.
The university was not was I expected or hoped for.
I grew up with a very traditional imagination of art. Art is beautiful. Art makes people happy, excited - reaches their emotions. The "Mona Lisa" is art and random stains of colour are not.
At the art academy (part of the university) we were told to do as we want to.
The professor said: "The route is the goal".
I hate such statements. If you have no goal - you have no goal at all. And if you have none you get lost.
We weren´t taught anything. It was a waste of time filled with bullshit philosophy.

I abandoned my studies and went to an university for design. Bye-bye art teacher life XD
At the start the other university seemed to be much better. I believed the professors words and I had a lot of different classes.
I prepared a lot of drawings and projects and exhibitions and spent a lot  of money in all this. At the end of nearly each class I got criticized, insulted and also banished, because I couldn´t visit the class regularly, because of my part time jobs. My theoretical studies "vanished" like other projects I did- like the profs pretended... Most of them simply treated me like shit. I absolved their classes, but they didn´t give me my certificates. After some years I got simply pissed by everything. The unfair treatment, while other students were treated like pure gold and my stuck situation, running after certificates, I realized I would never get.

During all these time I watched artists online more and more. So many gifted people whose skills were so much better than mine and they never went to an academy. They did their own thing. They taught themselves.
I felt like my imagination of the "world of art" was ridiculous and wrong. The gifted ones were online drawing beatiful art, also for games and movies and the ones I thought who were artists hang around the universities painting themselves, tinkering trash and living their dream of a poor artist in a psycho-art-therapy. I did not belong there... 

So I bought a simple tablet for my labtop and tried to figure out how digital painting works. And I did my art aside the academy. I created stages and built them for a theatre club. I created costumes. I still create posters for another club.
I took more and more time for my personal skills and ignored the university more and more. My studies didn´t prepare me for life - they prepared me to be unemployed and I really got scared of my future.
The only good part was bara. The stuff I did privately. ^^
I love to watch it and discoverd more and more artists.
Dizdoodz, Headingsouthart, scent, Luxuris...
Takeshi Matsu, Gai Mizuki, Tagame, Class Comics...

I began drawing guys and it felt better than good. My beginnings looked like crap, but it felt right to go on. I thought I want to draw like Takeshi Matsu and forced myself to adopt his style, what ended in weird looking drawings. I didn´t figure this out first, but after I while I got stuck, because it didn´t work and the guys looked "uncharming".
To become better or at least figure out my style I bought some advice books for digital drawing. They are full with great pictures, but somehow I didn´t learn that much. The worst part is, that they never show the process before you start a drawing. What about the resolution or the software?! All these books work like this: You draw a bit with this colour and use a brush and "tada" you drew a perfect, realistic, super, existing landscape, that touches your soul.
Well, let´s have a look at my workspace... "Eh, nope" There are some colours, that were drawn with a digital brush and my soul feels like it wants to use the eraser. XD

But one day I bought a small book from Marvel about sketching and inside there was a statement from Stan Lee. He said: "Look for the ones who love your art, they will push you forward. Ignore the ones who criticize you, they will always dislike your work, no matter what you change."
This is pretty smart and true and fits very well for patreon and tumblr.

I drew more and more guys and one day I decided to follow Stan Lees advice and created my tumblr to show my art online. I got rid of the idea to adopt someones style, too (it´s a mistake to corrupt yourself). I draw like it comes out of my hand - as weird as this may sound. I accepted to develop my skills by drawing and not being perfect from the beginning.
I love to draw men and it took me by far too long to realize it (that is my one big mistake I regret - I wish I started earlier like other bara artists). I love the shape of the male body. No matter if it is small, tall, big, thin or full of muscles. It never gets boring. I look forward to create my own stories and I enjoy to keep characters by others (games for example) alive or to make them more popular with my art. I enjoy, when people enjoy my drawings and that I can share my ideas. To show romance and drawings that excite your fantasy.

That is how I became Greeneyedwolfking. ^^