Small Problem -5- by Melanie Brown

Small Problem

Part 5

I just sat in my office chair, stunned. How the hell did I wind up with a date with a boy? A boy I barely know. This coming Friday. I… I can’t date a boy.

“Hey, Amanda!” whispered a voice from my doorway. “Did you call him?”

I nodded. “Yes, I did.”

Her eyes bright with excitement, Cathy said, “I want to hear everything! Come to my office!”

I frowned. “We have to go all the way to the girls' restroom at Taco Beuno?”

Cathy scowled at me. “You’re not a dad anymore. Knock it off with the Dad jokes, okay?”

I sighed heavily as I got up and followed my new sister to her bedroom. We both climbed up on her bed.

“You know,” sighed Cathy. “You need to get a real bed in your room so we don’t always have to use my room.”

“I have a bed.”

Cathy frowned. “It’s a cot. We can’t both fit on that. What did I tell you about Dad jokes?”

I laughed. “Okay, Miss Bossy.”

“Okay. Knock it off,” exclaimed Cathy. “What did Chad say to you? I heard you scream five minutes ago. Come on, girl. Spill it!”

I took a deep breath. “He was very nice at first. He told me that he was adopted and offered to help me get through any problems I might have being adopted. He offered sympathy for what happened to my family.”

Cathy narrowed her eyes at me. “What happened to your family? Oh, never mind. The cover story. Well, that’s certainly very sweet of him. I didn’t know he was adopted.”

I shrugged. “Well, it’s not exactly something you go around announcing.”

“We did.”

I gave Cathy a cold stare. “You had to explain suddenly having a new sister.”

Cathy continued on, “What else did he say? Was that it?”

“He told me how he became an orphan.  He lost both parents in a car accident. He told me how bad his life was before being adopted.”

Cathy knitted her brows. “That’s so sad. I would hate to lose my parents.”

Again I gave Cathy a cold stare. She waved her hand dismissively. “You don’t count. I mean, it’s not like you’re gone, gone. Anything else?”

I grinned and said, “Apparently, I, as my alter ego, gave a presentation to the school, explaining the work we were doing. Honestly, I’d forgotten about that.”

“Oh!” interrupted Cathy. “I remember that assembly. I think most of the school slept through it.”

Frowning, I said, “Thanks. Anyway, he said how he thought it was terrible that all my work was lost when I died. He considered me a hero. You don’t even consider me a hero.”

Looking like she was insulted, Cathy exclaimed, “I do too!”

Chuckling, “What’s funny is that he thinks I was assassinated by an evil cabal of international doctors.”

Looking confused, she asked, “Were you?”

I gave Cathy an odd look. “I’m not exactly dead, and no. The removal of my alter ego was due to stupidity. Though I like his idea better. I might use that.”

From Cathy’s doorway, Mom grinned. “What are you two conspiring about now? You know it’s well past bedtime for both of you.”

Grinning broadly, Cathy exclaimed, “Amanda has a boyfriend! And a date!”

Looking surprised, Mom said, “Well that was fast! Who’s the lucky boy and when is this date?”

I sighed. “I wouldn’t say I have a boyfriend. I talked to a boy tonight and he surprised me by asking me out.”

Flashing me a smile, Mom said, “You don’t always have to say yes when I boy asks you out, you know.”

Looking exasperated, I exclaimed, “Somehow, I said yes without realizing it.”

Cathy slapped my leg. “You be careful, girl! Or you might wind up being married!”

Feeling ill, I said, “You’re kidding, right?”

Mom frowned. “You need to be careful. You don’t want to wind up getting pregnant.”

In a shrill voice, I exclaimed, “I’m not having sex!”

Folding her arms, Mom asked, “Anyway. Who is this boy, and what day is the date?”

Cathy’s eyes widened with excitement, “I don’t think you’ve met him, Mom. His name is Chad. He’s really nice. He’s gorgeous. He’s on the football team, and he’s very smart.”

Mom grinned. “Sounds like Amanda hit the jackpot. Goodness. We’re going to have to get you a nice skirt and top. And heels.”

Cathy piped up, “I’ll learn her about make-up!”

Mom rolled her eyes. “You’ll teach her about make-up.”

Cathy laughed. “That too. She’ll need a little make-up for cheerleader tryouts.”

I sighed. “I don’t want to wear any make-up.”

Cathy scrunched up her face. “You can’t go on a date with a naked face!”

Mom looked frustrated. “Again. What day is the date?”

I sighed. “Friday night.”

Mom nodded. “Okay. I’ll make an appointment Friday afternoon at the salon. Cathy. Can your boyfriend take her up there? She’ll get her hair and nails done.”

Cathy grinned. “Do I get an appointment too?”

Mom chuckled. “You little mercenary. Fine. You too.”

Cathy laughed. “Great. And I’ll do her make-up after the salon. You don’t want Mom to teach you how to wear make-up. Nobody wants their mom to teach them about make-up. Trust me.”

Mom frowned deeply. “Watch it, buster! You’re treading on thin ice. When are the tryouts again?”

“Thursday morning at nine. I was going to go over a few routines with Amanda tomorrow,”

Mom shook her head. “This is crazy. Everything’s in a rush! Okay you two. Time for bed.”

*  *  *

I sleepily wandered into the kitchen. Mom was dressed and holding a coffee mug. Cathy looked as if she was eating a Pop-Tart in her sleep. I sat at the kitchen table without getting anything just yet.

Mom downed what was left in her mug and announced, “Girls, I’m leaving for work now. You two behave and try to not destroy the house, please. And… listen! I’m not kidding. No boys in the house.”

I managed a grin. “Okay, Mom. We’ll have our orgy in the backyard.”

Mom frowned. “You’ve been told to knock it off with the dad jokes.”

Cathy laughed. “That doesn’t sound like a dad joke. That sounds like a plan!”

Mom shook her head and gave us both a kiss on the forehead. “You two behave. I’ll see you this afternoon.”

I waved. “Bye, Mom. Have fun doing whatever mystery job you pretend you do all day.” I looked over at Cathy. “I had no idea what she did when I was married to her.”

“Bye!” and she walked out the door. Cathy descended into a fit of giggles.

I got up to make some toast. “What’s the plan today, dear sister?”

Looking serious and pointing at me, Cathy said, “Cheer practice, my little sister. And you will enjoy it!”

“Why do I have to be a cheerleader? Shouldn’t it be my choice?” I asked, waiting patiently for my toast.

Getting excited, she said, “It’s tradition! All the women in our family have been cheerleaders. There’s me. Mom was a cheerleader both high school and college, Aunt Maggie, and … and I’m sure there’re more.”

As I started smoothing peanut butter on my toast, I asked, “Does it hurt when your brain cells start to die?”

Cathy gave me a curious look. “What? Noooo. You don’t lose brain cells to be a cheerleader. In fact, just like any school sport, you have to keep your grades up. Should be easy for a former mad scientist like yourself.”

“Okay. I’ll give it a shot.” At least it will keep me from thinking about my impending date with a boy.  We moved to the backyard, where we had a lot of room and a lot of soft grass to fall on.

*  *  *

It took me a little bit to get over my self-image of being a forty-seven-year-old man and force my mindset into a fourteen-year-old girl. I was terrified of attempting a summersault. I was never able to do one, even when I was a child. I was always afraid of breaking my neck. After a bout of verbal abuse from Cathy, I was finally able to do one.

With the summersault in my arsenal of stunts, I attempted a cartwheel. My confidence was high, and I jumped into the attempt, only to crash and burn the first few times. We practiced for almost an hour, going from one stunt to the other. My confidence started running high.

Then Cathy started a new tact. I had to learn every yell and cheer our school had. Some of our cheers are synched with the band, so she had a recording on her phone of the pieces the band played.

We both collapsed on the grass and stared up at the puffy clouds in the sky. After both of us were breathing hard for a couple minutes. Cathy shouted, “By Jove, I think she’s got it!”

I giggled. “You think so?”

Cathy laughed. “I know so, girl. You’ve got the cheers down, you’ve got the energy and most important, you’ve got spirit!”

Cathy sat up and looked at her phone. We both should probably take a shower. In an hour, Jonathan is going to pick me up for lunch. Wanna come?”

I sat up on one elbow. “If I want to eat, I guess so. Oh, wait. I don’t have any money.”

Cathy rolled her eyes. “Boys pay. Back in ancient times, when you dated a girl, who paid?”

I grinned. “I did.”

Cathy giggled. “See? Okay, hit the shower.”

*  *  *

I was laying on the floor watching TV. I had on a bra and panties underneath a t-shirt and some rather short shorts I borrowed from Cathy. In fact, I think I got on to her for wearing these very shorts because they’re too short. And now I’m wearing them. While on the floor, I was barefoot.

“Your boyfriend seems to have a penchant for being late,” I said with just a bit of disgust.

Cathy looked at me from the recliner. “Where did you learn a big word like ‘penchant’?”

I frowned. “I picked it up in my mad scientist days. And weren’t you told not to sit in the recliner with your feet up like that?”

Cathy shrugged. “That was Daddy’s rule. He’s dead.”

I shook my head at her. “Shouldn’t the spirit of his rule still apply?”

Cathy giggled. “Spirits can’t ground me.”

I was about to comment when the doorbell rang. Cathy jumped up, exclaiming, “I’ll get it. You and your lips stay on the floor!”

She opened the door revealing Jonathan standing on the porch. Cathy stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. Maybe it shouldn’t, but it still bothers me to see her kiss that street thug.

Jonathan grinned as he looked at me on the floor. “Well, crap, man. I was expecting to get another smooch with Amanda.”

Cathy pouted. “You’re terrible!”

Jonathan laughed. “That’s why you love me, baby. You girls ready to eat?”

Not moving from the floor, I said, “I was ready half an hour ago.”

Jonathan shrugged and then bent down to kiss Cathy again. “Let’s go.”

As I stood up, Jonathan followed me with his eyes. He grinned and said, “Nice shorts.” He gave me a thumbs up.  Maybe I should change my clothes? I stepped over to the TV where I’d left my sandals and turned off the TV.

Cathy locked the front door. Jonathan put his arm around her waist. He said, “You know, I’m getting tired of Taco Bueno. What say we go to Burrito Extreme instead?

With a big smile, Cathy exclaimed, “I’m for that!” They both turned away from me before I could say anything. I guess I’m just excess baggage.

In the backseat of Jon’s car, I was starting to go deaf. I shouted, “Hey! Can you turn the music down?”

Jonathan laughed as he turned the music down a bit. “Sorry. I forgot you were back there.”

The parking lot looked like a street rod convention. Apparently, this was the bad boy hangout. Jonathan slid his arms around both our waists as we entered the restaurant. Well, more precise, he had his hand on Cathy’s ass.

Several boys wearing black t-shirts and jeans and boots were gathered around several tables. One of the boys waved and shouted, “Hey, Goodall! Back here!”

Jonathan waved back and shouted, “Just a sec.” Other guests in the restaurant seemed to be annoyed by the shouting.

After we ordered and Jonathan paid, he once again put his arms around both of us and herded us back to where his hoodlum friends were gathered.

One of the boys looked over and waved his arm at us. “Hey, Goodall. How do you rate two chicks?” I guess I’m a chick now.

Jonathan smiled broadly. “Dude. What can I say? Chicks dig me.”

Another boy pointed at both Cathy and I. “Are they twins? They look just alike.”

Moving his hands to both our shoulders, Jonathan said, “They’re sisters, but a year apart.”

One boy, who was staring intently at me, asked, “Are there any more?”

Jonathan gave us both a squeeze. “Nope. Just these two.”

The boy who was staring, said, “That’s not fair you have both.” He looked at me. “Hey, babe. Why don’t you come sit with me?

Cathy laughed. “Amanda has a boyfriend. On the football team.”

Laughing, the boy said, “I don’t care. Come on, babe, sit with me.” He took hold of my arm.

I stood still and looked down at this boy. I said, “Excuse me?”

He looked at me sideways like who the hell is this girl? He let go of my arm and said, “Amanda, is it? Amanda, I would love to have the pleasure of your company for lunch.” I really wanted to tell him to go fuck himself, but he did turn around and ask politely. I still think he’s a jerk, but I wanted to reward his politeness. I still hesitated and he added, “Please?”

I smiled. “Well, since you said the magic word…” I took the seat next to him. He smiled and leaned on his elbow.

He studied my face a moment. “My name’s Owen Cameron, by the way.” He looked from me to Cathy and back to me. “It’s amazing. You two are almost identical.”

I grinned at him. “We’re actually cousins.”

He shook  his head. “Cousins? Identical cousins?”

Cathy said, “We laugh alike and walk alike.”

Nodding, I said, “At times we even talk alike.”

Owen made a motion like his head exploding. He shook his head saying “You could lose your mind.”

Jonathan handed us each our burritos. He then sat next to Cathy, but still close to me. He laughed and said, “Yeah. I have to be super careful which one I kiss.”

Cathy scowled at me. “You can say that again.”

Owen chuckled pointing at me. “Hey, I can take this one off your hands for you.”

I scowled at him and said, “I’m not something you can trade.”

“I was joking. You’re a feisty one.”

I held up my burrito. “Can I just eat in peace?”

Grinning, Owen said, “Be my guest.” I sighed and shook my head.

When Cathy and I had finished eating, I said to Cathy, “We should probably head back soon. Did you see the time? Mom will be home in a few hours.”

Cathy said, “Oh, do you think you could ask one of these boys to take you home? Jonathan and I want to drive around a bit.” She winked at me.

“I don’t think that’s…”

Owen tapped my arm. “I’ll take you home, babe. I was going to show you my car anyway.”

I frowned. “Mom’s not going to like that. And I think I’ll just get a ride share.”

Cathy frowned at me. “Get your mind out of the gutter. We’re just going to go for a drive. And what are you going to pay for your ride share with?

Owen stood up. “Hey, babe, I got you covered. I’ll show you my car and then I’ll take you home.” I really didn’t like being called ‘babe’.

Cathy asked, “You got your house key, right?”

I grunted. “I’m wearing it like a necklace since I don’t have any pockets.”

Cathy sighed. “We’re getting you a purse today!” She and Jonathan stood up. “Okay. We’re all set. See you in a bit.” Jon took her hand and pulled her from the restaurant.

Owen spread his palms out. “Are you ready? Let’s go.” I really didn’t like the idea of riding with Owen, but I sincerely doubted he’d harm me.

We walked out and up to a midnight black Chevy Camero. I said, “Pretty.”

Owen chuckled, “Oh, it’s more than pretty. The engine is not stock. Wanna see?”

I shook my head. “I wouldn’t know what I was looking at anyway.” Even as a guy, I wasn’t all that interested in cars. I was always interested in robotics.

Looking slightly deflated, he said, “You should ride with me on a race sometime.”

I shook my head. “Sorry. I’m not interested in street racing.”

Owen shrugged. He clicked a button on his key fob. “Door’s unlocked. Hop in.”

As I slid into the passenger seat, I was impressed with the interior. “Leather seats. Nice!”

Owen grinned as he got behind the steering wheel. “Cool, huh?”

I ran my hand along the dashboard. “This must have cost a fortune.”

Owen nodded. “I had to earn part of it, and Dad bought the rest. The new engine was all on me.”

I grinned at Owen. “All this just to impress girls?”

He shrugged. “It works. And I’ve won some races.”

Owen started up his car and I felt the rumble through the seat. I settled back into the leather and asked, “So. What does the future hold for Owen Cameron? This is your senior year, right? Going to college?”

Owen shook his head. “Nah. School’s boring and for losers. I’m considering dropping out. There’s a shop that really wants to hire me. Okay, what street do you live on?”

I told him the street and then asked, “What does your dad think about your dropping out?”

We rumbled out into the street. Owen grunted. “I haven’t told him yet. It’s none of his business what I do anyway.”

“He bought you this nice car,” I said, looking out the tinted window on my door. “Don’t you feel obligated?”

Frowning at me, Owen said, “Not really. But hey, even if I finish school, college offers nothing for me. Just more books and shit. I want to get away. Be on my own, you know? Experience life before I get old.”

We rode in silence for a few minutes. I looked over at Owen and thought, where the hell would I be right now without a college education? I laughed. Probably still a man.

Owen glanced over at me. “What’s so funny?”

“I was just thinking about something.” We were approaching the street I lived on. “You don’t have to go to college. You can join the military.”

Owen laughed. “And get shot at? No thanks.”

I shrugged. “You can join the Air Force. They’re non-combatant.” I thought of my Dad spending the war chasing girls in Japan and other exotic locations,

“Sheesh,” frowned Owen. “You sound like my dad. Here’s your street.  Which house?”

I pointed through the windshield. “Third house down from the stop sign, with my Mom’s SUV parked in the driveway…Oh no.”

Owen asked, “You in trouble?”

I sighed. “Probably.”

“Want me to keep driving?” grinned Owen.

I chuckled as I considered the idea. “I think that will only make matters worse. Just let me off here.”

Instead, he drove his car into the driveway. “Here you are, safe and sound. At least for the moment. Seriously, Amanda. I would love to take a beautiful girl like you out sometime.”

“I’ll think about it,” I lied. “Thanks for the ride home.” I closed the car door and waved as Owen backed out into the street and drove off.

I looked at Mom’s car parked in the driveway. She’s not supposed to be home yet. She didn’t specifically tell us to stay home all day. But I’m willing to bet she’s not happy that neither Cathy nor I’m at home. No point in waiting. I took a deep breath and entered the house.

Mom looked up from whatever she was doing at the kitchen table. “Where have you been, young lady?”

I stepped up to the kitchen table and said, “Cathy and I decided to go get some lunch.”

Mom looked back at the mail-order catalog she had been thumbing through. “Oh, I see. Where did you go?”

It bothered me that I was feeling nervous as if I was in some kind of trouble. “Burrito Extreme.” I knew it would be the next question, so I said, “Jonathan drove us up there.”

Mom nodded. “And who was that boy I just saw you with? Do I know him?”

I sat down in one of the kitchen chairs. “His name is Owen. I don’t think you know him.”

“I see. Did he pick you up in that hot car of his?”

I gave Mom an odd look. “I didn’t even see his car until he brought me home. He was at Burrito Extreme.”

Mom idly flipped another page of her catalog. “Isn’t that a street racer hangout?”

I shrugged. “Beats me. I’ve never been there before.”

Mom closed the catalog. “Stop acting stupid, Amanda. This boy is a street racer, isn’t he?”

I picked up the salt shaker and started fidgeting with it. “I guess so.”

“I couldn’t get a good look at this boy. How old is he?”

I was tempted to lie because I thought this round of questioning was stupid. But I was sure Mom could guess his age right down to the hour. I took a deep breath and answered, “He’s a senior this year.” I didn’t add, unless he drops out.”

Mom shook her head. “What’s with you, Amanda? I was expecting you to be the responsible one. But here you are hanging out with a boy who is not only a street racer, but too old for you. And then you let your daughter run around loose. I forbid you from ever seeing that boy again.”

I narrowed my eyes to slits. “Ummm, Mom? What did you just say? I don’t have a daughter. I’m fourteen. You… you and that damnable legal team ensured I was stripped of any parental responsibilities and rights. I’m now a child. You’re the one with responsibilities. Not me.”

Mom’s nostrils flared as she sucked in a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I misspoke.”

I threw the salt shaker across the kitchen. “I’ll say! And what the hell do you mean by saying I’m not allowed to see a boy who’s a street racer? You’re letting Cathy date a street racer!”

Mom stood up, knocking her chair over. “You don’t talk to me like that, young lady! And you have no say in who Cathy dates. They’re both the same age and that was before you were adopted!”

Scowling, I shouted, “But her father opposed it!”

“Her father’s dead! What he wants doesn’t matter anymore.”

A lump instantly popped into my throat. I felt tears well up. “So that’s it, is it?”

“That’s it.”

The front door slammed open and Cathy shouted, “Hey, everyone, I’m h… um…”

“I hate you!” I shouted and ran to my room and slammed the door closed. I tossed myself onto my cot and started crying uncontrollably.

I must have fallen asleep. The windows were dark. Since I hadn’t eaten I felt a little hungry. I closed my eyes and clutched my pillow tight. I heard my door creak open and Cathy whispered, “Amanda? You awake?”

In the darkness, I just said, “Yes.”

I heard Cathy enter my room and sat on the edge of my cot. “What did you fight about? Mom is in her room crying.”

I shrugged in the darkness. “It was nothing. Just something stupid,”

“Boys?”

I grunted a laugh. “Yeah.”

In a soft whisper, Cathy asked, “Owen?”

In a quiet whisper, I said, “Yeah.”

Cathy twirled my hair a moment. “I’m so sorry. That was all my fault. For what it’s worth, Mom never stays mad long. I’ll let you go to sleep. Don’t forget tomorrow are the cheer tryouts. Night.” I heard her softly close the door.

A while later, the sound of my door opening woke me up. I didn’t move and pretended I was still asleep. I felt someone entering my room. I was sure it was Mom. She carefully pulled a sheet over me. She carefully brushed my hair from my face and kissed my forehead.

She sighed and sounded like she was about to cry again. Very softly, almost under her breath, she said, “I miss you so much, Stan.” I heard my door softly close.

*  *  *

End of Part 5 of Small Problem