Ch: 116 Medical respawn.

Edited.

 The dialog still feels kind of wonky, but after three days of playing with it I'm giving up. Working on this week's DM chapter tonight. Enjoy

Chapter 116

Medical Respawn

Freya jerked away. She had been dreaming of Lurch dying. He had been screaming for her to help him, but she ignored him while turning her back to shoot an unending wave of monsters. She closed her eyes and tried to force the memories of the dream away. It had been ugly and painful, and it didn’t go away that easily.

Looking up she noted that she was still in the bed in Fort Victory. They had arrived while the sun had set, and were told where to go to eat and then sleep. She didn’t think she would be able to sleep, but she did. She regretted it now that she was awake.

Rolling over she sat up in her cot. The cot was a cement slab that was one of three rising up from the ground like bunk beds. There were two rows attached to hers and across from hers was an identical row that housed nine more bunk beds. She knew there was another row on the other side of the cement wall that made up the other side of her bed. She had found a middle bed and staked her claim. If she remembered right there hadn’t been that many beds that were claimed.

Across from her, Monkeyman’s bunk was empty. She sighed and stood up. She stretched her back and heard it pop. Feeling a bit better, she made her way out of the barracks. She was still in her armor, and carried her weapons, per Kruz’s orders. She didn’t say it outright, but Freya got the feeling that their platoon leader worried about an attack on the fort. The feeling was infectious. Freya had spent the night cuddling up to her AOS rifle. Just in case.

The fort had a chow hall, but it was at the far end of the camp. She had no idea why someone would put the chow hall so far away from the barracks, but that was the Marines for you. It was still dark when she left the barracks, and ten minutes later it was still dark, but at least she was at the chow hall. She was excited to get something other than nutrient drinks to eat.

The chow hall was a huge blow-up balloon of a tent. There was a line to get into it, even at that time of day. She really didn’t feel like waiting and nearly left, but then she saw Monkeyman in line. He saw her a second or so later and waved her up the line. She felt bad about cutting in line, but no one said anything and she didn’t look to see if they were giving her evil looks.

“Hey, ma shiv. how're you doing?” He asked her as they waited.

“Fine.” Freya lied.

“You were dreaming loudly last night.” He told her gently.

“I thought I turned off my external speakers.” She told him, feeling embarrassed. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

“Your speakers were off. You were just… screaming in your helmet.” He told her.

She winced when she heard that. “Sorry, won’t happen again.” She told him, pretty sure she was still lying to him. She started to make plans to move her bunk so as not to wake him again.

“S'alright.” He told her. “I have some bad dreams too.” Freya nodded but ignored his plea to talk.

She didn’t want to do that right now. It was too fresh and raw. She saw Lurch every time she closed her eyes. She also kept expecting him to appear from around the corner like she was having trouble believing he was really dead. She sometimes fantasized that it was a joke between the two of them and he was really still alive but messing with her. For a few seconds it was a relief to think he was still alive. Then she would remember his stare and everything would fall apart again.

She turned away from him not wanting to look at his sad eyes anymore. She knew it was her fault he was dead. She should have checked on him during the battle. She knew exactly when he died. It had to have been when she ducked the tentacle. He must have caught it when it missed her. If she hadn’t ducked he would have been alive right now. She survived getting hit before, she was sure she would have survived getting hit again.

She asked herself why she ducked, and the answer had been to avoid the pain of getting hit. She let Lurch die because she was afraid of the pain. She knew it was a bad thought to let into her mind, but she knew it was true. He was dead because she was a coward. Sure Agent Smith or whatever her real name was set them up, but he would have survived if she hadn’t been such a coward.

She had killed a lot of people, both in the sims and in real life, but this was the first time she felt like a murderer. He had been her friend, her crew, and she had let him die. She sighed and felt beyond sad. There was an ache in her chest the size of Lurch and she knew it was the least thing she deserved. She felt tears at the edges of her eyes, but she held them back, too embarrassed to show weakness in front of Monkeyman and the other marines around her.

The chow line had a large bowl of yellow liquid that people were putting on regular-looking toast. There was some black meat with tiny holes in it, and bacon. She ignored the black meat and took the yellow liquid and toast, along with bacon, of course. There were a bunch of drink fountains at the end of the line. She picked something that had an off-white color and some tea. Once she was done, she followed Monkeyman to a table near the side of the blow-up tent that faced the entrance.

The yellow liquid tasted awful by itself, but amazing when she dribbled some on her toast. The bacon tasted like bacon, so it was good. The off-white colored drink tasted citrusy, but unlike anything she had ever tasted before. She decided it was good after she was done with her meal. It did give her heart burn when she drank it before eating anything, but that settled down after she started eating. It wasn’t the best thing she’d eaten since joining the Marines, it was still pretty good.

What it didn’t do was make her feel better. She ate mechanically. The food tasted pretty good, but it didn’t do anything to make her feel better. She was angry, but she didn’t know why. It was almost a relief, when they were tossing the remains of their breakfast in the recycler, that both Monkeyman and herself got a message from Sergeant Kruz. It was a simple message that told them to follow the waypoint to a building where they were going to meet with some intelligence services for a debrief of the mission from the day before.

The building they were using was a long but thin rectangular building. They were directed to two different rooms by a large screen hanging on a wall just inside the building. She was directed to a room at the far end of the building while Monkeyman ended up in a room near the entrance. Monkeyman stopped by his door, which was open, and gave her a nod right before he stepped into his room.

She nodded back as she continued down the hallway. As she walked down the hallway, she noted that there were a lot of closed doors to her right, but only two to her left. Only one door was open, aside from Monkeyman's, in the hallway and it was the room she had been directed to. The doors were numbered but had no names. She wondered what the building was for, besides a place to debrief people like her.

The room she had been directed to was small with just a small table that was attached to the right side of the wall. There was only one chair and it faced the blank back wall. Lily was a little annoyed that sitting in the chair meant keeping her back to the door, so she turned her chair sideways facing the door and sat down. The door closed behind her automatically, leaving her alone in the room.

She was only along for a few minutes then the wall turned into a screen and a Navy guy appeared on it. “This is Chief Anthony Mathers interviewing Corporal Freya O'Malley, also known as Magic, of the Federation Marines on the mission that took place on…” The Chief said, stating the previous day's date and the coordinates where the Ketica fort had been.

The intelligence guy was a chief, which made him the equivalent of a sergeant in the Marines. He was young looking, just like everyone in the military, but his eyes held wisdom that was far older than his current age. He wore a dress uniform, including his chief’s hat or cover. The right side of his uniform had a few ribbons, much more than Freya had on her status screen. Overall, he looked kind to her. He was a handsome man who wore an understanding soft smile on his face as he looked through the screen at her.

“Magic, like I said, I’m Chief Mathers. This interview is being recorded and will be viewed by a bunch of people much higher up the ladder than the two of us. First, let me share my sympathies for your losses. I can only guess how hard it is to lose so many platoon-mates as you have in the past two days. As much as I would like to give you time to grieve, we have to get as much information as we can about what happened yesterday to help save more people in the future. Once we are done, I’ll share everything we have learned that I’m able to, based on your security classification.”

“I would like you to tell me about yesterday’s mission. I understand you are a dropship pilot?” He asked her. At her nod, he continued. “Please start with your preflight check offs and go from there.”

“I will have to stop you from time to time to clarify some point or other. Please don’t think I’m questioning your abilities or leadership skills. This is not a judgement on you. This is just an accounting of what happened. I need to understand what was going through your, and everyone else’s who was there, head at the time. I will not judge you, but I know from past experience that I will annoy you. I’m really not out to second-guess your decisions. I just need to understand what happened, and how we can use what happened going forward.” He told her, still smiling his soft smile “Please, go ahead.”

Freya started describing her checkoff list when he stopped her for the first time. He explained he wanted to know everything, including all the details, even as unimportant things as what she checked and how she did it. He was extremely nitpicky. He wanted to know everything, like did she kick the tires or not. She hadn’t. She didn’t even know where he got the idea that she would have.

“You never know what detail will be important at a later date.” He told her, sounding apologetic.

Three hours later, eight iterations of what happened the day before, and the chief finally ended the interview. “Sorry about that.” He told her. “I know that was annoying, but it had to happen. We need to know everything.”

“I noticed during the interview that you are showing signs of early onset of PTSD. I have recommended you to medical for a medical respawn. It won’t take away what has happened, but it will help with the anger and depression that is starting to hit you. They should be issuing you orders as soon as we are done here.” He told her. “I'm sorry that we won’t be able to pull you from your platoon at this time, as you are vital for its mission going forward. This is the best that I can do.”

Freya didn’t know what to say, so she just nodded. The chief continued.

“You have a pretty high security clearance. Much higher than the average marine at your level and rank. This means I can tell you pretty much everything that I know. There are a few things I can’t, but I don’t see them impacting you or anyone you know any time soon.” He told her. “First, it seems that only psychics and people who have had their, for lack of a better word, ‘souls’ temporarily removed from their bodies can see the Ketica. This means that you and your entire platoon are, at this time, the only ones who can see them besides any PsyOps agents who are planetside.”

“The Ketica seem to have the technology to hide not only themselves, but any constructs under the surface of the planet. We can see some stuff, but, more often than not, we are blind to them. We can’t even see if they’ve been in the area because we can’t see their tunnels. We also have no idea why our electronics can’t pick them up, or how unmodified biological human eyes can.” He explained, or rather he didn’t.

“What we do know is that some of them can survive an orbital bombardment while they are underground. We are not sure, at this time, if a full Ketica can survive an orbital strike. The current theories are either that they don’t, but die so fast that they can’t get off a warning to other Ketica, or they can and escape. There is a lot we don’t understand about them, but we are learning.” He told her.

“Do you have any other questions?” He asked her.

“Did the PsyOps agent pick anything up yesterday?” Freya wanted to know.

“I’m able to tell you that she didn’t pick up any specific thoughts, but she did pick up some emotions. It’s how we know the sonic attack you endured was both an attack and a warning to other Ketica. It is also a call for any nearby constructs to come and protect the Ketica. It drives them into a frenzy.” He explained. “I can also tell you that R&D has come up with a muffler for the scream, but it hasn’t been tested yet. I have been given to understand that it will not stop the scream, but reduce its impact.”

“Are we winning?” Freya asked, not sure what was going on besides her mission.

“We are still in the process of mopping up the last bit of Ketica fortifications on the surface of the planet at the moment, but it seems that the Ketica have gone underground. I don’t know what to tell you. We suffered significant losses, but we had to have hurt the Ketica pretty badly as well. We’ve taken all their factories, at least the ones above ground, as well as nearly all of their forts. The problem is that we have no idea what they are doing under our feet.” He explained.

The chief stopped and looked down for a second, then looked up again. “I’ve just been notified that there is an assault ship that is landing as we speak. It will take you and the rest of your platoon off-planet so that you can despawn safely. Good luck, Corporal.” He said, giving her another kind smile right before the screen clicked off and the screen faded back into the wall. The door opened again by itself once the screen was gone. Freya stood up and made her way out of the room. She found not only Monkeyman, but also Sergeant Kruz waiting for her by the screen by the main door. The screen was now blank since their interviews were over.

“Let’s go.” Sergeant Kruz said quietly. “We are all scheduled for medical respawn.”

“I didn’t think they did that anymore.” Monkeyman replied. as he opened the door for Freya and Kruz. “I’m not sure I want to.”

“What is a medical respawn?” Freya asked as Kruz started walking, ignoring what Monkeyman had said.

“It’s something the Empire used to do when their soldiers started going crazy.” Monkeyman replied. “They mess with your head.”

“We do it too.” Sergeant Kruz told them, sounding angry. “They just don’t tell you about it.”

“They’ve never done it to me.” Monkeyman said, but Freya knew that wasn’t true. He wasn’t lying, but she knew it happened all the time.

“It’s that feeling when we come back from a mission.” Freya said, as her mind exploded with the realization. “That feeling we get. That high. It’s the ships messing with us, isn’t it?”

“Maybe Monkey was right. You might be a shiv after all.” Kruz said, looking back at Freya.

“Dammit, I knew that.” Monkeyman replied, sounding frustrated. Freya noted he didn’t say anything about Kruz getting his name wrong. She looked at his face and saw anger and something else. She thought it was sadness. It worried her.

Turning back to Kruz she wondered what she had meant. “What is a shiv?” She asked the sergeant, not sure what to do for Monkeyman.

“Now you want to know? He’s been calling you that for months.” Sergeant Kruz asked, with a short, mocking-sounding laugh. “In a prison, it’s a homemade knife. In the gangs, it means that you’re an assassin.”

“That’s not what it means.” Monkeyman said, sounding grumpy.

“Yes, it is.” Kruz corrected. “It means that our boy here thinks you're smarter than he is. In the gangs, calling someone a shiv means that you think a person is better at killing than you are.”

“Because I’m a good shot?” Freya asked Monkeyman, feeling let down for some reason. “That's why you called me that?”

“Anyone can shoot.” Monkeyman disagreed. “It’s the people who do it while leaving the Po clueless who gets the name, Shiv. But ...”

Seeing her confused look, Kruz interrupted him to clarify his statement. “Po is short for Po Po, or police.”

“We’re not explaining it right.” Kruz said, shaking her head, continuing. “Everyone watches the pins and the shivs. The pins because they run the gang and the shivs because they make people disappear. Monkeys are the grunts. They kill when there is a battle or if ordered to. A shiv is sent if you want a pin dead and you don’t want a war afterwards. If a pin retires or is retired, then the shiv, if he or she wants, can become the pin with no pushback. Monkeys like our fine friend can become a pin but they’ll never be a shiv. There will always be pushback if a monkey becomes a pin. Monkeys will always need to prove themselves to the gang. A shiv doesn’t.”

“Does that make you a pin?” Freya asked Kruz, who had slowed down enough so that she was walking beside them.

“No. Mother was the pin. I’m only a monkey who grew to be a caller.” Kruz replied sadly, looking off into the distance. A few moments later, she seemed to come back to herself and she looked at Freya. “A caller is a follower. They are almost always older monkeys. We run the small stuff and follow orders. Our Monkeyman here, he’s a caller. A caller with the ambition to be a pin.”

“I’m a… yeah, I guess I am.” Monkeyman said as at first he got riled up, but seemed to deflate after the initial burst of anger. “But Magic, what she said is true but…”

“But... You are a stone killer, Marine.” Kruz said, interrupting Monkeyman again.

“No.” Monkeyman said forcefully. “I mean, yes. You’re a good Marine.  …”

“...And there’s our ship.” Kruz said, pointing at an assault shuttle parked about a hundred feet away. It was kind of hidden behind a plastasteel building which stood in front of the large, makeshift landing zone. On the far side of the landing zone Freya spotted her dropship. The ramp was open to her ship and there were people coming and going from it.

“I still don’t see how it’s a compliment.” Freya said, shaking her head.

“It means you’re family.” Kruz told her. “A scary sister, but his sister nonetheless.”

“I … yeah. That’s what it means, now.” Monkeyman said, not looking at her.

“Gangs are many things back home.” Kruz said, not looking at them. “The good gang... A good gang is more than a bunch of criminals hanging out. They are family. They protect those who they love. They only go bad when they become caught up in their own rep. Then no one is safe. Everyone is just one step above a punk. People start using each other instead of looking out for each other. I didn’t learn that until I joined up here. He’s calling you family everytime he says that.”

“Yeah, that’s what it means.” Monkeyman said softly.

Freya felt something deep in her chest. It wasn’t an ach or anything like that. It was a warmth that she had never felt before. She looked at Monkeyman, then at Kruz, who looked just as lost as he did. She reached out and threw her hands behind their backs.

“Look out, Kruz’s gang is coming through!” Freya yelled, not caring about the stares she got after she was done.

“I ain’t in your gang.” Kruz said, pushing her away.

“It’s Monkeyman’s gang, not hers.” Monkeyman said at the same time.

“We are a gang.” Freya said with a big smile, as she reached out and grabbed Kruz again, and pulled her closer. “Kruz is the pin. I’m the shiv, and Monkeyman is … well the monkey. We are all that’s left of the Honey Badgers Gang.”

“That’s not how this works.” Kruz said, sounding tired, but Freya took comfort in the fact she didn’t pull away this time.

“It’s my gang. I called it first.” Monkeyman said, looking at them both from Freya’s left-hand side.

“I’m the sergeant.” Kruz said, shaking her head. “Not that I’m in a gang, but if I was, Magic is right. I would be the pin.”

“You’re right, you are not in my gang.” Monkeyman said, getting worked up. “If you were, I would be the pin, no matter what your rank is.”

“So is this the pushback you were talking about?” Freya asked Kruz.

“Well, yes, this would be pushback, but I’m not in his gang.” Kruz said, shaking her head. “Anyway, we’re here.”

Freya looked up and found herself in front of the assault shuttle. They had somehow crossed the entire landing zone and made it to the end of the ramp without her noticing. Looking up, she found the back of the ship full of people. There was a medic at the top of the ramp waving at them to hurry up. She hesitated a second, but when Kruz didn’t slow and started up the ramp she followed. Monkeyman followed behind her. Freya looked around, as nearly every person seated in the shuttle looked them over. She noted the huge recycling machine in the back and frowned. Before she could voice her concerns the medic started talking.

“Kruz, O’Malley, and Man?” The medic said, looking at Monkeyman’s uniform. “You're the last that we were waiting for. Find a seat and we can get going.”

There were only three seats left, but they weren’t together. Two of the seats were together, but the last one was on the far side of the shuttle. Kruz walked up to a guy sitting to the right of the two open seats and gave him a look. He sat there for a few seconds, then he got up and moved to the single one seat. Kruz simply sat down in his seat, motioning for them to sit down beside her.

“You sure she’s not the pin?” Freya whispered to Monkeyman.

“Go brown diving.” Monkeyman replied, sounding surly.

The pilot must have been watching because as soon as Freya finished fastening her seatbelt the shuttle’s ramp closed and the ship started vibrating. No one spoke as the ship lifted off, but Freya did notice one guy who looked close to a panic attack. The medic found a seat in a dropdown jump seat near the recycling machine. He sat in the jump seat playing with the holo screen on his arm.

She was still sitting in her seat thinking about where the shuttle was going a few minutes later when the medic closed his holo screen and stood up. “I’m Petty Officer First Class Donaldson. I’m a mental trauma psychologist. What is about to happen is that we are going to reset your brain chemicals back to your baseline. Normally, this is done in a dropship pod, but because of the Ketica we have to do this outside the atmosphere for safety purposes.”

“This will cure your PTSD, but it will not stop you from feeling what caused it.” He told everyone in the back of the shuttle. “You will still feel fear and helplessness, but it won’t be as crippling as it has been. We are not messing with your memories. We are not taking something away from you, nor are we mind controlling you. All we are doing is a hard reset of your brain chemicals so that what happened won’t remain with you and cause you lasting problems for the rest of your life.”

“What has happened to you is not lessened in any way. Nor do I think any of you are cowards.” The medic told them. “We are treating a medical problem that has affected humans since the start of time. Once you all respawn, most of you will be reassigned to other platoons to help you. Some of you will return to your platoons and please be aware that, no matter where you go, this is not a punishment. We take personal psychology into account when we give you your assignment.”

“Nothing here is random. If you go to a new platoon it’s because we feel that you will heal better without reminders of what has happened to you. Please don’t worry about your friends that you are leaving behind, if you are assigned a different platoon. They will get another marine who is at least comparable to you.” He reassured everyone.

“What is different is how we are going to have to respawn.” He told them. “If you have suicide mods please use them now. If not, then we will be giving you…”

Freya stopped listening and turned to her gang. She punched Monkeyman and bumped shoulders with Kruz. “I’m out.” She told them, smiling. “See you on the other side.” Then she activated her suicide mod… and found herself looking out of a respawn pod door to a very active dropship pod bay. She quickly opened the door and exited it as she was trained. She looked around as she made her way to the closest locker. She spotted Kruz first. She was near the front of the ramp of the dropship. Then she found Monkeyman - he was exiting the pod right next to her. He rolled his eyes at her and stole her locker before she could get to it.

“Funny.” He told her as she moved to take the other locker next to his. “They made us carry your dead body to the recycling machine. If you waited until he was done, you would have learned he wanted everyone at the front so no one had to carry dead bodies. Kruz was pissed.”

“Dammit, what do you give a pin when you pissed her off?” Freya asked in mock seriousness.

“Shut up.” Monkeyman told her, but she noted that he smiled. She had a feeling he was going to be alright. She hoped she would be soon as well. She felt that high that came from a completed mission, but it still hurt when she thought about Lurch. It hurt pretty bad, in fact. The only thing that had changed was that she felt high. Other than that, she felt the same as before. She decided to fake it so she wouldn’t bring her friends down with her. So she smiled and faked it as she hit the button to equip her armor.