August FREE Bonus Story
Added 2024-08-16 06:42:49 +0000 UTCLet's get this August content going!! Join Justin and I as we get into our free bonus story "AITAH - For telling my fiancée to not share a letter my ex-wife sent to me on social media?" !! This month's free story is givinggggg. Giving me anxiety, giving us all a lot to analyze/work through...I don't want to say much more in fear of giving things away, but this is a good one.
Story Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1efxxf9/aitah_for_telling_my_fiancée_to_not_share_a/
Comments
definitely heard it before..
kadie fales
2024-11-21 15:49:25 +0000 UTCI was thinking the same thing, but i think it's the preview !
Pascale Larocque
2024-09-22 21:38:32 +0000 UTCI've heard this story before. I'm assuming on the THT podcast.
Tammy Mahar
2024-09-20 22:57:15 +0000 UTCno hate at all (love the episode) but i would hesitate to report somebody with mental illness to the police (especially in america, but anywhere really). i understand that people’s safety is important but the police don’t actually provide safety in the way people think they do and notoriously do not have adequate training to deescalate situations such as this. i think that telling those in your community who know and care about both of you/people you can trust to handle it appropriately is the right move, so i’m glad they did that.
beth semane
2024-09-15 19:49:48 +0000 UTCThis has nothing to do to do with this story but seriously I’m the biggest fan of you guys! I just got out of a very abusive relationship and listening to you and justin gives me hope to find someone that will support me and really love me! I listen to your show everynight after work to relax and wind down for the day and I really look forward to it. THANK YOU MORGAN FOR BEING YOU 😭😭😭🥹🩵
Kiley Reeve
2024-09-08 05:47:14 +0000 UTCThank you for saying this, it’s so true. I mean there’s a whole subreddit called bpdlovedones that just totally demonizes the disorder. I was diagnosed while I was in my last relationship and she was supportive, but now I’m terrified to tell any new friends or prospective relationships because of how it’s stigmatized. Same with bipolar. Both disorders are so often misdiagnosed and while there is treatment, for BPD specifically, because it is a result of trauma medication can only do so much. It mostly comes down to therapy and trying to heal those trauma wounds and find coping strategies that you can actually apply and work for you. And it’s just really fucking sad that all of this emotional pain and having people see you as a toxic and bad person is just the result of being abused or neglected as a child (usually) and now even as you’re trying to get better and putting in the work, shit still happens and then maybe you end up as a Reddit story. Idk I mean I’m not excusing what Lily did, I’m just really seeing myself in her shoes. It sucks.
Cedar Kenny
2024-08-21 23:55:24 +0000 UTCA past partner of mine has BPD, and I’ve dealt with hyper-emotional, manipulative outreach. Sending love to OP, Mila and Lily - I’m hoping she is on a healing journey toward peace.
Grace S.
2024-08-21 01:36:44 +0000 UTCi’m picturing those little butter cookies with sprinkles! we always get them on the way to mammoth and we’ll eat a whole tub of them on the drive
shartsimpson
2024-08-21 00:47:51 +0000 UTCI will also say, BPD is extremely stigmatized. Just like on Reddit, people come online to share the worst stories so it’s easy to believe that’s all that exists. BPD does not automatically mean someone will be abusive, it doesn’t mean they will self harm, it is different for every person. IMO people with BPD & their partners should be in individual therapy but not everyone can afford that. Moral of the story, do not judge a person with BPD solely by what you see online. Just like any person you meet or date it is good to have extra boundaries & be cautious until you get to know them, BPD or not. It is also still extremely stigmatized in the psychology world which is quite sad as people with BPD often need a lot of support. It’s no partners job to fix anyone, or be someone’s therapist, you don’t have to stick around just because someone is mentally ill, but mental illness & personality disorders don’t automatically mean bad things will happen. Compassion is a good place to start as long as it is not at the expense of your mental & physical safety.
MK Average
2024-08-20 17:42:12 +0000 UTCIt is not uncommon for a person with BPD to be able to function “normally” in most aspects of their lives except relationships & specifically romantic relationships. BPD stems from attachment trauma, ofc attachments will trigger you the most. For people lower on the spectrum or someone with BPD traits but maybe not diagnosable BPD they could have no obvious BPD symptoms until they get into a romantic relationships. It really just depends how they present, their symptoms, their traumas, how intensely their symptoms affect their lives etc. BPD is not one size fits all, like most personality disorders & mental health issues.
MK Average
2024-08-20 17:31:40 +0000 UTCGod this one made me sad. I have bpd and I could only hear this story from Lily’s perspective. What she did is undeniably wrong, and the thing is that she probably knows that, is painfully aware, but still cannot control her emotions and actions. The pain she’s feeling just completely takes over and suffocates her. These episodes often feel out of body, like you’re only watching it happen and have no control. What she’s most likely feeling is regret for leaving the relationship in the first place which probably happened during an episode (unstable sense of self and emptiness are two huge parts and triggers of bpd), feeling abandoned, hurting that he didn’t choose her, and she’s probably splitting (black and white thinking, suddenly viewing a person in a completely positive light to completely negative, love to hate/hate to love, no in between). Splitting on a person close to you can be absolutely nuclear. Especially if there is any fear of real or perceived abandonment, or if you feel they’ve hurt you. Anyway, if she is in therapy, she’s most likely learned DBT skills. DBT is truly amazing and can be life changing, but it’s almost like a cruel joke because you need the self awareness in this volatile moments to actually apply the skills, which is the precisely what those with BPD lack. In my time spent in psych wards and therapy groups, between all the people I’ve met and myself, it’s fucking HARD. We all try our best, why wouldn’t we? Having BPD has caused nothing but grief and chaos and harm in my life, and it sucks even more that it’s mostly caused by external factors such as childhood neglect. It’s a result of trauma. Anyway as I was saying about applying DBT skills, we know all the shit we’re supposed to do, it just requires a certain degree of self awareness to actually do it and a lot of the time that doesn’t happen. What DOES happen is the shame, guilt, regret, and consequences that we deal with after the fact. Once Lily moves past this fixation and episode, which she will because BPD moves quickly, if she stays in therapy then she’ll be talking about this for a long time. And she will feel fucking terrible. Maybe she’ll apologize, maybe not. I’ve definitely made the choice not to apologize because I know it’s ultimately a selfish choice, and I don’t want to trigger the person I hurt but suddenly popping up again once they’ve healed or started healing. But she WILL see the reality of what she’s done, and will learn from it and hopefully find another tool for her BPD/DBT toolbox. I think the most crucial part of this for Lily is that the letter wasn’t posted for her social circle and support system to see. It turns out they knew all along and were supporting her, but if they hadn’t, then it could really be so harmful. Being in the midst of an episode this severe then suddenly losing everyone important to you is a one way ticket to the ER or psych ward at best.
Cedar Kenny
2024-08-19 16:58:48 +0000 UTCJustin at the end saying "we should make s'mores" out of nowhere made me laugh out loud
Tess Williams
2024-08-17 20:09:55 +0000 UTCOP is right. Mila’s already won. I get wanting to strike back after seeing all the things in the letter, they were hurtful and wrong to say. Posting that letter feels like punching down though. Lily shouldn’t have sent the letter, but it’s not something you would send if you were in a good place. Definitely block Lily because the letter was out of line and having contact isn’t an option after what she’s said. Posting feels too far though.
Sarah
2024-08-17 13:03:01 +0000 UTCNo wait you pretty much nailed it!!!! It’s just like “welp shit outta luck then I guess eh?” Hahaha thanks for making such a great show, every week, even when you’re insanely overbooked and shit. People like me who can’t be around friends or family currently really fuckin appreciate it 💘 (also take a break if you need to tho PLZ you first always!!)
Briana Eakin
2024-08-17 05:39:01 +0000 UTCI just read this to him and he's so flattered and just thanks you for seeing him. I totally get what you mean because it's not an insecurity or a fear even but just a awhh hope that never happens. Probably in the same way people hope they don't get struck by lightening. haha okay now I'm not making sense. So happy you're here <3
Two Hot Takes
2024-08-17 05:30:22 +0000 UTCAugust free bonus story oh I don’t know why I always love the idea of summer and sun and all things hot two hot takes has the most hottest summer ever coming to you live it is 100 degrees outside head to the pool to the beach grab some ice cream stick your head in the freezer it’s a long hot summer
Kevin Cheney
2024-08-16 23:25:09 +0000 UTCCan I just say! I love Justin’s ..vulnerability? His first reaction being uh oh please don’t let that happen to us. To me, it’s in the same vain as when he says his biggest fear is someone simply falling out of love. I haven’t found my Justin yet, but I heavily relate to the ..insecurities is the wrong word, but, you know what I mean?!? I’m 33, I don’t get parasocial, but when you (Morgan) mentioned that there had been comments about Justin being a red flag… you should have heard my gasp Okay back to the story hehe love yall & your love!
Briana Eakin
2024-08-16 21:51:27 +0000 UTCGreat bonus story! OP was very mature and empathetic while also setting boundaries and being a great hubby to Mila.
Kolyok
2024-08-16 18:20:13 +0000 UTCMy take away from this is, I think it's finally sinking in for Lily that OP is no longer going to be at her beck and call like he had been. I know he said he moved on, but he still kept her in his life when she needed. Which to me is like she still got him but didn't have to commit and now is upset she is losing that and is not ready to actually deal with consequences. If she still wanted him she should have never divorced him.
Autumn
2024-08-16 15:42:59 +0000 UTCYalls password: coconut 😂
Sharon Amerson
2024-08-16 12:23:43 +0000 UTCIt’s definitely sad she’s suffering but her mental health is not his problem. He can be kind and mindful but her mental health doesn’t take priority over his life. She left, and she’s suffering because she thought he’d be there waiting for when she wanted to come back and is spiraling because he isn’t. His fiancée wanting to post it to ruin her life was just wrong, glad he stood his ground and didn’t try to make her life harder while respecting his fiancée at the same time.
Breanna Zabawa
2024-08-16 07:31:27 +0000 UTCfor some reason I had dejavu for the first 2 minutes of listening 😅🤍
Viktoriya Dupliy
2024-08-16 07:26:58 +0000 UTC
