April Bonus Story #5 -- Video
Added 2024-04-23 04:21:30 +0000 UTCWhat do you guys think of this situation? Do you think our OP had good intentions or were they being rude, annoying, etc. while the barista was just trying to work? How do you tell in social situations if people have good intentions and just want to connect?
Comments
I guarantee that she’s had to deal with this before where men are “just trying to talk about anime” with her while she’s trying to work. And I bet the first few times she was kind and assumed they were just making small talk or maybe even got into a nice anime discussion. But then I’m sure it turned out he wanted more than to just “strike up” a conversation and when she had to tell them that she wasn’t interested I’m sure things got weird. A lot of men don’t handle rejection well. So she decided that she would just do her job instead of trying to let them down easily, only to end up with men being jerks to her.
Emma Stubbs
2024-04-30 04:08:25 +0000 UTCAs a barista if OPs story was what fully happened that barista was rude. Being a barista isn't just making your coffee, it's the customer service and connection that goes alongside it. There's a whole reason why regulars come back again and again, it's not because of the coffee half the time it really is the atmosphere of the coffee shop and it's an integral part to community building. Coffee shops ARE a venue for pleasant social interaction. I feel like we are turning into a society that is becoming more and more selfish, with the idea "well it's not her job to talk about anything besides coffee" but as a barista it takes 2 seconds to be nice, "Oh thank you! really like X character, what can I get you?", and now that customer leaves happy and their day is better for having that quick connection with someone else in a niche that they love. I'm not saying she needed to chat him up forever, but even during a rush as a Barista you should know how to politely answer or deflect and get the line moving. Even on the worse of days I am able to be polite if I cant muster the energy to be overly nice, and complain or cry in BOH later. Her ignoring his question and flately asking him if he's going to order or not is extremely rude and he's totally in the right for not ordering further.
Alexandra Grossman
2024-04-29 15:36:41 +0000 UTCEven with no added context, best case he’s an accidental asshole who lacks awareness and worst case, he’s a creep who feels entitled to women.
Sara Harmon
2024-04-24 23:22:26 +0000 UTCIt doesn’t sound like she went above and beyond in her customer service, but also she’s not necessarily obligated to- like Spencer said she might have been having a day and was just trying to do her job. I don’t believe his account of the story. Him including “she’s really pretty” and “I was just trying to get to know her” give creepy vibes and offers some insight into his mindset. I bet it was flirtatious and she didn’t entertain and in typical male fashion, his fragile ego could not handle a woman not engaging with him. He went into a coffee shop to get coffee and then left with no coffee. If your intention is genuinely just to get coffee, you don’t walk out because a mundane interaction didn’t go how you planned. Him taking it hard enough to post on Reddit is a red flag- I have awkward interactions with people who don’t match my energy or who I can’t match theirs everyday- it has never made me want my coffee less and never had me so butt hurt I had to Reddit post about it.
Abbey Nesmith
2024-04-24 20:14:23 +0000 UTCThis!!
T-Bahn
2024-04-23 19:01:12 +0000 UTCShe is under no obligation to entertain conversation with him unrelated to her job role. I would bet money that he was coming off as creepy and is down playing his role. As you said, read the room, if she doesn't engage, order and move on! You don't know someone's backgrounds and triggers, don't keep pushing the issue because you think they "owe" you conversation otherwise it's not good customer service.
T-Bahn
2024-04-23 18:59:57 +0000 UTCHe was 100% the asshole even if he wasn’t hitting on her. It doesn’t seem like she was explicitly rude, she just wasn’t engaging in personal conversations with customers while she was at work. He seemed to think that a purchase must have entitled him to this girl talking to him. For a lot of men, baristas are such a fantasy because of how a lot of people interpret them as flirty. She probably just didn’t want to be interpreted that way. I am also inclined to believe that he was hitting on her because why would her not wanting to chat make him not want coffee if he was actually there for coffee? If he needed his caffeine fix, her not talking tattoos wouldn’t make him not need it anymore. He wasn’t there for coffee, he was there for conversation and a coffee shop doesn’t have those available for purchase.
Sara Harmon
2024-04-23 13:48:47 +0000 UTCEx Starbucks employee here! I truly CANNOT give a take on this unless I saw it with my eyes. Going over the OP’s story I would say the barista is lightly the asshole, BUT I also had MANY creepy or even just annoying guys “making conversation” with me during busy times.
Katie Stecklair
2024-04-23 13:34:03 +0000 UTCAs someone who has worked in a coffee shop before, I can understand where this employee may have been coming from/feeling. I agree that this needs more context, BUT.. there’s an insane amount of people that come through service industries with nothing but the audacity. I’m willing to bet that the coffee shop was 1, understaffed, and 2, the employee in this situation may have been overworked, overstimulated, and already exhausted from social interactions with out of pocket customers. We all have bad days, and I think OP should perhaps not take the interaction so personally. We need more kindness and compassion in this world, as we never truly know what someone is going through. 🫶
Rachel
2024-04-23 13:00:29 +0000 UTCI get what you mean. If she was just being downright rude on purpose then I would also be on his side.
Mitasha Kirpalani
2024-04-23 08:19:39 +0000 UTCThat is what I'm so curious about! Tone and tact can make or break it. awhh I need her side too
Two Hot Takes
2024-04-23 07:53:11 +0000 UTCAll about the context for me and I feel like I need more for this one. My dad goes everywhere looking to be kind and chat to people, so if the guy was like that then she could've been like "___ is my favorite. what can I get you". But do agree that no one is entitled to "get to know" you while you're just trying to work.
Two Hot Takes
2024-04-23 07:52:47 +0000 UTCThis take was a miss for me. In line to order is no place to "get to know" an employee, and I'm also missing the part where she was rude! It seems more like she was trying to set a professional boundary. He's def TA in my opinion! Seems like he felt entitled to her time!
Sara Schultz
2024-04-23 06:57:05 +0000 UTCI actually stopped wearing this one anime shirt because guys would always ask/test me on my knowledge of the show. I did watch it and knew most of what they said but my guy friend who wore anime shirts ALL THE TIME never got questioned. It's sad but if she had been through what I've been through, I totally understand that barista's attitude.
Mitasha Kirpalani
2024-04-23 04:36:28 +0000 UTC
