Fortune Favors (QQ Chapter 28)

Well, I guess we're doing this now.  "So. Tet, right?"  "Mhmmm." The boy nods as I slowly walk over and take a seat across from him.   I hav

Well, I guess we're doing this now.  "So. Tet, right?"  "Mhmmm." The boy nods as I slowly walk over and take a seat across from him.   I hav

Well, I guess we're doing this now. 

"So. Tet, right?" 

"Mhmmm." The boy nods as I slowly walk over and take a seat across from him.  

I have no idea where I am right now. Some sort of floating void in nowhere space. 

All that exists would be this small table, chairs- or in the god's case a beanbag chair- and the chess set atop it. 

"So... you're... a god of gambling? No. Games." 

"God of Play, but close enough!" He supplies, smiling brightly. 

"Man. You must really hate what's going on outside, then." 

His face falls into an irritated frown. "Yes. I do." 

It slowly bleeds back to his normal expression. 

"So. What can I, a lowly fox merchant do for someone like you?" I ask slowly and carefully. 

"I want to play a game!" He smirks. 

"As long as it's got nothing to do with elaborate death traps like shotgun collars or needle filled toilets in order to teach me to 'value my own life' while permanently physically and mentally scarring me for my very long life... I may be accepting of that." 

"..." 

"Humans really do take the fun out of everything." The god sighs. 

"To be fair, youkai aren't that much better. Though I suppose Gensokyo with their spell card duels are better than most." I shrug before tilting my head and tapping my chin. "I should really figure out how to do that. A Danmaku fight sounds kind of fun." 

"Anyways, we've gotten sidetracked, haven't we? A game? Why, how, what, and when?" My eyes zero in on the tiny god, hands interlocking. "Is this a game with consequences... or is it just for fun?" 

"Isn't it more fun if there's something on the line?" The god grins a smile that wouldn't be out of place on some gods of tricks and mischief. 

"Oh? In that case... what are we betting on?" 

"If I win... you find a way to revive those killed in Sword Art Online. That game is an absolute travesty. Games are supposed to be fun or at the very least let you know you'll be putting your life on the line. Even more so... when someone so blatantly cheats..." His eyes narrow slightly. 

So... 

If he wins... I revive everyone in SAO? 

I was already going to do that... 

"Methods of revival are quite hard to come by." I frown. 

"Yes, but... with your ability... you'd eventually find something, right?" 

"That's... true... but, hey, you're like... an all-powerful god, right? Why don't you do it?" 

"I... am more of a spectator... I feel that... gods shouldn't interfere with the lives of mortals." He eventually speaks. "Even this may be a bit much but... my rules of being broken so flagrantly here." 

"Gods have smote more for less." I shrug. 

"I... suppose." The boy tilts his head before smiling impishly. "But. Why would I need to do it when I could get you to do it? Isn't this more or less me doing it myself?" 

I offer a slow blink before sighing. "I have... some ideas. But to be completely and totally frank with you, none of the worlds I can access currently can do ANYTHING even remotely close to what you are asking... I'd need one specific world for what I have in mind... and the multiverse is vast. Infinite. You should know this more than I. It could take me centuries... thousands... maybe even hundreds if not millions of years to find what I need... and by that point... does it even really matter anymore?" 

The god shrugs. "I'm really only asking you to try! Who knows. Maybe you'll be able to be a little more selective with your multidimensional travel soon." 

"..." 

"..." 

"Do you have some sort of precognition?" I deadpan. 

"Nope. Just kind of genre savvy like that one girl who annoys you!" He replies. 

"And yet... you're shockingly more bearable despite the fact you've kind of hijacked my teleportation to bring me here. That's kidnapping y'know." I snort. "So. What will I get if I win?" 

"hmmm." Tet hums, seemingly thinking deeply. "Meh, we can think about it after you win, which you won't!" 

"Fine fine. Might as well take this gamble. What are we playing?" 

"As I have challenged you... I'll let you pick!" 

"Rock paper scissors." I decide instantly. 

"Ah. A classic. Alrighty! On shoot!" 

"Rock Paper Scissors shoot!" Our hands shake and we both hold out a fist. 

The boy blinks down at our hands. 

"Rock Paper Scissors shoot!" Our hands shake once more and we both hold out a fist again. 

His lips turn down into a slight frown. 

"Rock Paper Scissors shoot!" Once more... we both pick rock. 

I should go for rock a fourth time... 

""Rock"" 

""Rock"" 

""Rock"" 

There's a slight twitch to my eyebrow. 

'Alright... should I swap to paper? We've been doing this over and over... naaaah.' 

"Rock Paper Scissors shoot!" I hold out rock and the god of games holds out scissors, likely assuming I would have swapped to paper as we had both chosen rock six times in a row, and I appeared to get quite antsy at that fact. 

The god blinks twice. "Huh... I... Lost?" 

He stares at our hands a bright grin crossing his lips. "Gah! I don't like this feeling! This is the first time I've ever lost a game, y'know? But... I kind of feel... excited!" 

"Huh..." I stare down at my hand. "That was... anti-climactic." 

"Best two of three? Come ooooon best two of three!" The god pleads. 

"Why would I agree to that? You've kind of just given me a blank check, you know? I genuinely could never beat you again. I'll PROBABLY never beat you again. So... what's in it for me in a best two of three?" 

The god pouts at me, crossing his arms. "You're no fun. So what do you want from me?" 

I pause for a moment, fingers drumming on the table as I think it over for a second. 

"You're only more or less connected to this universe, right? The one I just tried to enter?" 

"Well, this place and Disboard." He shrugs. "I really don't get out much." 

Fuuuuck I wish I knew more about no-game-no-life. 

"So... you'd really only be able to grant me stuff from this world, huh?" 

"Pretty much!" 

"..." 

"I wish all of my goals in sword art online were completed." 

"Your... goals?" The god of play echoes. "What are your goals?" 

"I have a bunch. Race change potion, allow my friends to reach max level in their crafting skills and gain the unique skills linked to them, collect the best items, and stuff like that. I'd also like Admin and ownership over SAO and-" 

"Hm... I have a feeling that I'm not going to be able to accomplish this." 

"..." 

"Why?" I ask slowly. 

A screen pops up in front of me. 

Congratulations on a TRULY massive win! Regretfully, those who view the system would likely lose interest should you achieve all you want and more. They want to see your growth. Your struggles. Your steady rise. 'accomplishing your goals' is too open ended and would leave you with far too much. So. Please select a single reward from the following list: 

1: Admin {Limited}: (Item/Money Spawning disabled, Character Level/Skill Level modification disabled, Game of life/death edit disabled. Logout re-enabling disabled. God-Mode and buffs on fellow players disabled. Admin benefits only extend to you within Aincrad and are lost in other dimensions. 

2: Skill Token: 'Master' x1, instantly gain 100,000-250,000 hours worth of experience in any topic. 

3: 'Undo Death'. SAO is no-longer a death game in the traditional sense. The deceased players will be logged out and those who are already dead will revive. Humanity will be struck with a magical compulsion effect to not remove the Nerve Gear of those still playing. 

4: Boosted Allies: 2 SAO allies of your choice gain a single boon of your choice ranging from increased Skill Exp, increased level exp, improved stats, increase health regeneration etc~ 

5: Ownership of the floating castle: SAO will now be treated as a personalized pocket dimension for you. You still can't conjure what you want, but now you will get Item drops (once per unique mob item) and may harvest whatever materials you may need. 

6: Determined AU Location: You gain an additional world slot and may now choose exactly where you want to go, specifying minor unique modifiers and such for the world, such as 'Rwby but everyone still has magic' or 'Dxd but Issei is a girl' or 'Fairy Tail, but it's a slight crossover with Yu-Gi-Oh'. But not something like 'Touhou but everyone worships fox youkai and tries their best to serve them in any way they can'. 

I tap my finger, giving the god across from me a flat look. 

"Hey." He shrugs. "You didn't think you just spontaneously spawned an ability like this, right? The people who gave it to you want to be entertained. I'm only six thousand and even I get bored sometimes. I can only imagine that must go double for whoever- or whatever made something like this." 

A long sigh leaves my lips. "Fucking hell. Option three." 

The screen closes abruptly, causing me to rub my temple in annoyance. 

"You... really picked option three?" Tet tilts his head. "Huh. I could have sworn you would have gone for two, five or six." 

"I... can't stand the thought of all those people... those men, women... children... dying because one man was an egomaniac." I admit after a moment before slumping forwards slightly. "It doesn't mean I can't lament that I lost access to a bunch of good stuff I'll likely never see again." 

The boy grins. "You know what? I take it back. You're not boring! I like you, fox boy." 

I rise from the seat I had taken. "Well, thanks, I guess. Now. I'm going to go drink until this strange mix of melancholy, joy, and satisfaction goes away." 

With a snap, another doorway appears. 

I open it and pause. "Oh. By the way, Tet, can I ask a favor?" 

"hmmmm?' 

"In the future, could you possibly allow for my ability here to teleport to the real world? I'll need it so Shiro can meet her elder brother as... she is almost certainly going to abandon her real body and become a Kuda Gitsune like myself. It'll probably be the only way they can reunite." 

"Sure." The small boy shrugs. "I can do that. Easy peasy." 

"Thanks." I nod once then turn. 

"Hey! Hold up a sec! Before you go!" He calls out. 

I stop, moments before walking through the threshold. "Yes?" 

"You got any games? I've been looking for something to expand my collection." 

"I've got... Jurassic park Monopoly if that's what you're asking." 

A heavy sack is tossed at me; I catch it with one hand. 

This is... coins? 

"I'd like to buy it, please. Keep the change." Tet gives me an impish smirk. 

"You... overpaid quite a bit..." I observe, closing the door in front of me and opening up a smaller one. 

A board game is pulled through it. 

"Naaaah." Tet waves off. "This is something that most people would NEVER be able to get without your ability to traverse worlds. Even for me that'd take a little effort. That much money is worth my effort, frankly." 

He takes the board game. "Besides! It's about as much as I could give you without your little power there getting angry with me!" 

I glance down at the sack in surprise, before looking back over to the boy. "Thank you, Tet." 

"Nah it's cool, fox guy. I'll probably rematch you another day. The god of play doesn't take losses sitting down! Well... I mean, I did... but I'm going to get you back one day!" 

"I'll look forwards to it. Maybe we can play poker or something... hopefully something else. I don't know how to play poker." 

"Well you better learn, fox boy!" He points at me with an impish grin. 

I turn and walk through the door, coming to a stop in my living room. 

Shiro is laying on the couch, kicking her feet, playing her new game, it appears to be some sort of shooter. 

Offline, it appears, because she is sort of the only person playing this game here in the SAO dimension. 

A long breath leaves my lips. 

Congratulations! You have made a total profit of 1,100,000 dollars! You have earned a 'Skill Token' (General) (Proficient) x1 

Congratulations! You have made a total profit of 1,200,000 dollars! You have earned 2 random items of random quality. 

Congratulations! You have made a total profit of 1,300,000 dollars! You have earned 2 random items of random quality. 

Congratulations! You have made a total profit of 1,400,000 dollars! You have earned 4 'Skill Token' (General) (Adept) 

Congratulations! You have made a total profit of 1,500,000 dollars! You have earned 2 'Perk Unlock Tokens'. 

Congratulations! You have made a total profit of 1,750,000 dollars! You have earned a random 'High Quality' item 

Congratulations! You have made a total profit of 2,000,000 dollars! You have gained an additional 'World Slot'. 

Congratulations! You have made a total profit of 2,250,000 dollars! You have earned 5 'Skill Token' (General) (Adept) 

Congratulations! You have made a total profit of 2,500,000 dollars! You have earned 2 random 'High Quality' items 

Congratulations! You have made a total profit of 2,750,000 dollars! You have earned a random skill of 'Expert' mastery. Please select a world. 

Congratulations! You have made a total profit of 3,000,000 dollars! You have gained an additional 'World Slot'. 

That's quite a lot to sort though... thank you, Tet. I may not get fifty years worth of training in a skill... or own sword art... or get to choose to go to Dxd but have sacred gears be able to be bought and sold with the wielder's consent, buuuuuut. This kind of softens the blow. 

I walk over, taking a seat beside the girl. 

"Are you winning, Shiro?" I grin. A small part of me has always wanted to say that and, well, as a dad I suppose now is the time." 

"Mn." The girl simply nods once. 

Oh right! The entire thing I was supposed to get today! 

"Hey Yui. What does this patch do?" 

"..." 

Crackle 

Poison Sealing Patch: {Accessory} 
A mystical patch from another world, renders the wearer almost completely immune to all poisons. 

Effect: 
Poison Damage and effect is reduced by 95% 

Welp... I can drink an entire bottle of that twenty-five year wine now in one sitting without dying. That's helpful. 

"Oh! Argo!" Tsukasa calls from the kitchen. "Can you please come help me with this?"  

I quickly hop up, excited to tell Tsukasa the good news. 

She stands over the stove, tail swishing back and forth. She's making some kind of soup. 

"What do you need?" 

She grabs my kimono, pulls me forwards and locks lips with me. 

I'm surprised briefly by the suddenness of the action, but quickly lean into the kiss, wrapping an arm around her waist. 

Our kiss eventually breaks, leaving a strand of saliva between us. 

"That's it!" The woman beams. 

"I've got good news!" I grin, quietly whispering. 

"Hmmm?" The woman blinks. 

"I got everyone who died in this game revived." I mutter into her ear, causing it to flick down and hit me in the face. 

I kind of asked for that, our ears are kind of sensitive and whispering like that probably blew into it a little. 

The woman freezes. "H-Huh?" 

"Sword Art Online... is no longer a death game. It's just a game that logs you out whenever you die. So... he's not dead anymore... just not in-game." 

I watch her eyes widen, a bright grin crossing her lips. "That- that- that's wonderful! That'll be so much easier on the poor girl... and we can go grab him later!" 

"Mhmmm." I nod once slowly placing the patch on my collar. "Nooooow I'm gonna go drink. Love you~" 

"I love you too!" The fox girl beams, tail swishing back and forth happily, her mood has absolutely improved. 

I let out a low hum, wandering off, I reach through a doorway, a bottle coming to my hands. 

Ah right. I got a bunch of stuff... let's see what I've got! 

Generating Items: 

VHS Classic: Goddess of Love VS. Goddess of Beauty, Beach Edition. 
Ring of Counterspell 
Lesser Arcane Hat  
Red Phasesaber 

Generating High Quality Items: 

Magic Eight Ball 

You've got to be fucking- 

Enchanted Golden Apple 
Xeno Xcalibur Magnum Impact 

"..." 

Annnd that's everything. Let's see what we've got. 

I pull out a vhs- oh wow. They're super fucking hot... annnnnd their boobs are exposed... 

My face is flat as I slip that back into a portal. 'gonna save that for some pervert.' 

Ring of counterspell? 

I look over it with a frown, my appraise piercing it. 

It's kind of bad, honestly. 

You cast a spell on it then the next time that spell targets you the spell is countered. So if I cast sparks on it, the next time someone shows up and tries to cast sparks on me, the spell wouldn't work, but only once... then you need to re-cast a spell in it. 

I'm sure Savos will love it. 

Next- 

Holy fucking shit... this hat is fucking awesome. 

NEVER showing this to Savos, otherwise he might try and do everything in his power to take it away from me... through the power of bribery and money. 

This hat... 

Once a month it can generate an ENTIRELY new spell- LESSER spell... it specifies lesser. But fucking regardless that's KICK ASS. More than that, it's a bonus magic pool, so you can keep casting spells as long as you wear it, it improves the power of your spells by about five percent, and- AND while you are wearing it... it grants you ideas and methods to improve your spells... it polishes, perfects, and buffs out the flaws of any of your spells, increasing its strengths, removing its limits and even giving the spell new capabilities in time. 

Now, this time is LONG, mind you, taking longer depending on the level of mastery in a spell and the overall strength of it, but... theoretically with enough time you could create an entire new branch of magic just by sitting around and letting the hat do its work. 

This might even be the best item I've ever gotten... I'm unsure. 

After that is- 

PSHHHHEWWWW 

My face is bathed in red light. 

Vmmm-Vmmm 

Chrrrzzzz 

The light goes out. 

"Huh... a Lightsaber... neat..." 

Now for my high quality items. 

The first? A magic eight ball... its power actually causes my eyebrows to raise briefly. 

It has the standard answers and replies of a magic 8 ball... but the thing is that it's ALWAYS correct. So you basically have a pocket 'yes-no-maybe' divination ball. 

That's pretty good, actually. 

After that is- 

a... golden apple from minecraft... I'm assuming? 

The golden skin of this apple glistens slightly, magic flows through it. From what I can see, the stats are really good. Regeneration, a barrier, damage resistance. 

The real question I have would probably be 'how does it compare in Sword Art Online?' 

"Yui. Stat me, please." 

Golden Apple: 
A gilded apple from distant lands, while gold would traditionally be quite tough, the outside of this apple is barely tougher than what you would see in a standard apple. The gold and flesh of this apple has been enchanted, granting great protective and healing properties. In addition, the gold shell of this apple prevents it from ever going bad. 
Effect: 
Reduces Hunger by 100 
You regenerate 1% of your Health every second for 60 Seconds 
You are granted a temporary 'Bonus Health' equal to 80% of your overall health that lasts for 5 Minutes 
You resist 20% of all damage for 5 Minutes. 

"Huh. Uuuuuh. Yui. Take this cash, buy me a new farm, the best you can, then swap out the fruit of growth for these apples, putting the fruit of growth in that new plot of land. How many days will it take for my first golden apple?" 

The girl appears beside me, she appears in a good mood. "Ten days!' 

That's two and a half times the fruit of growth... meh, I don't really need those anymore I suppose. 

"And, Argo... I'd like to thank you... I don't know what you did but it's... it's finally over!" 

"You heard what I said to Tsukasa, right?" 

"M-Mhm!" Her eyes are a little watery as she nods, a bright smile on her lips. "It's incredible! I should... go... I've reinstated my ability to interact with players. I need to fix the mental health of these players!" 

She glowers slightly. "I... would tell the players that there's no need to continue playing, that they can just die to get out, but I doubt they'd listen to me. Not that I can blame them." 

"Thanks again!" With that she disappears with a quiet crackle. 

She's probably going to be quite busy unfucking the minds of all these poor people. 

Now... what the hell is this excalibur- 

"This is a fucking Beyblade..." 

[Split] 

Clink-brrt-ding 

I sit up with a low groan, a hand coming to my lips. 

Empty wine bottles clatter off me as I lay there on the wooden floor. 

I mild headache throbs at my temples, golden light appearing around me as I let out a quiet yawn. 

I slowly rise to my feet, looking over all the bottles. 

Six... ten... twelve... 

Looks like I drank thirty last night. 

That is... quite fucking impressive... not going to lie. I think that leaves me with... 

Oh... 

I think I finished all of the twenty-five years last night. 

Huh... 

I stagger slightly, letting out a small yawn, wiping an eye. 

I really should go see Savos. 

I roll my shoulders, a quiet yawn leaving my lips. 

I lean over, peering through the little cabinet door towards my connected worlds. 

'oh good. Let's see what we've got here.' 

Slot 0: Touhou 
Slot 1: Demon Slayer 
Slot 2: Skyrim 
Slot 3: SAO 
Slot 4: Land Before Time 
Slot 5: Jurassic Park 
Slot 6: Neptunia 
Slot 7: My Hero Academia 
Slot 8: Fallout 4 

I offer the list a slow blink 

My Hero Academia is... fine... a modern world where I don't really have to care about hiding my youkai traits. Fallout 4? The radiation kind of scares me... but power armor tempts me- wait. Shit. I can't wear power armor... I have an extra pair of ears and a tail... 

"WAIT! HAT!" I grin. 

I quickly reach through another portal, pick up my lesser arcane hat and place it on my head. "Generate an anti-radiation spell for me, all powerful hat!" 

I pause for a moment. 

'holy shit... that- that works!' 

I now know the spell 'Geiger counter' 

Whiiiiich kind of just functions like a Geiger counter. 

Oh well. I'll try and get some sort of radiation-shield spell next month. 

I should have probably specified. 

I pat the hat. "You did good, hat-chan." 

I promptly put it back where I took it from. 

It's been about a month since I've done anything, just sort of sat around drinking. I could worry less about alcohol poisoning thanks to my little patch, I laid there. Occasionally swapping out the worlds I got- fucking beyblade. I'm NOT humoring the XCalibur. 

It kind of makes me wonder, though... just how strong am I? 

I mean, I kind of doubt that the wine of mine does a full 'twenty five' point buff to me. Tsukasa takes some, and, well, I don't have stat points. 

Maybe the effects get weaker the more I drink? I'm not sure. 

Regardless, I should now be able to pull off some truly impressive feats of strength... except in Touhou... 

Maybe I should take a walk through Demon Slayer... It's been a while since I've gone there.