Resident Evil 0: Howard The Fuck
Added 2024-09-13 06:29:39 +0000 UTCIt’s time for my yearly attempt at playing RE0. In this episode, 0 is the amount of progress made, and also the amount of fucks being given, by me, the master of the insanely stupid Resident Evil playing.
I swear all of this is gonna mean something someday, when I finally have enough footage to assemble my magnum opus, “Deranged maniac plays Resident Evil for years and years, slowly mutating into an even more violently disturbed monster.”
This is the role I was born to play, because it’s authentically true and really really real. I’ve been playing Resident Evil games for a thousand years, and being a silly cunt for even longer. I can do both at once, in my sleep, blindfolded, in a straight jacket, without breaking a sweat or dumping my ass.
The only impediment to this mission is that some of these games are more nauseating to stomach than others. RE0 and RE7 in particular are both full of annoying bullshit that I hate. 7 with it’s basement goobadoops and hide and seek horseshit. 0 with its assey inventory system and creepy shoeless leech guy.
Come to think of it there may be a correlation there, my two least favorite games in the series both feature yucky black leech slime. No wait, i forgot I hate RE3 Remake more than those two combined, and I'm pretty sure that game is leech-less, unless you count leeching my soul out with it’s girl boss Jill one-liners.
