Death Stranding: Bath Baby and Bret The Hartman
Added 2023-04-01 00:37:18 +0000 UTCThe game that refuses to die returns again, but this time with... actual progress. Now that the 6 episode detour of me carrying dead guys around the entire world and delivering pizzas is finally done we can get to the fun part of the game which is me riffing on cutscenes.
But first we gotta give da baby a baff. Norman Reedus is exhausted and covered in crud so he's gotta relax for a moment and scrub the bugs off his butt with the old rag on a stick, while his fetal-friend floats around in the warm, green chlorine going goo and ga ga and giving me social media likes because it's level of cognition is consistently confusing. If you've been following along you know that all makes perfect sense.
After bathtime we finally get to visit Bret The Hartman Hit and he explains to us some things about stuff and junk. This is important story information and lore on the world of Death Stranding and if it all sounds like nonsense you're either not trying hard enough to get it, or trying too hard. The proper way to experience Death Stranding is to just make sarcastic quips the whole time like Yakko and let the story pass through you like a cool mountain breeze whispering the soul-song of Earth. Don't think about it, just feel it.
