Firewatch Part 5: Trapped In The game

Hey we're finally getting close to the end of Firewatch. We're on Day 77 now according to the game, which is also exactly what it felt like. This game took me 1 night to play through but i felt like The Holocene Man watching an entire epoch pass by. Except that would be significantly cooler than playing this game.

I wish i was a caveman living forever. I would have been all over history, man. I would have banged Cleopatra. I mean i'm sure a lot of guys did, she was famously loose, but i would have been one of them. I would have done other stuff too. History is long and the world is big, i'd have banged all kinds of chicks. Almost as many as Ric Flair in the  80s, but probably with a lot more consent involved.

What the hell was I talking about? Oh yeah, Firewatch. You know it's funny, not in a ha ha way, but also kind of yes in a ha ha way, since making it such is my job, but as much as people dump on walking simulator type games, myself frequently included, i actually kind of like them in theory.

In a weird way they tend to make for some of the best lets play content because they give me so much to complain about, usually without too many interruptions. Except this one because the guy never shuts up. I always end up playing these kind of games despite claiming to hate them, so it makes me wonder if there's any of them i actually like.

Let's see, i did Layers of Fear, that sucked. Visage sucked even worse. Gone Home was pretentious as hell but at least had a pretty cool environment to explore. Firewatch has a lot of pretty nature but the guy being so annoying farts all over it. Soma was really bad, i fucking hated that piece of shit, you should have heard me complain about it but i didn't record that one, sorry. I thought Edith Finch was bad, but then i found out that wasn't even the game i thought it was and i was actually playing something totally different that i didn't remember the name of, so i guess the jury's still out on that one. There was one on Mars that i actually kind of liked, it was sort of platformy, i don't remember what that was called either. Then there was an interesting one about being a blind girl that i liked. The Stanley parable is cool. I'm just rambling now aren't I?

Maybe one day i'll have played every walking simulator ever made and then i can make a tier list or something. You gotta set little goals for yourself like that in this walking simulator called life.

What the fuck was that shitty game called that i thought was Edith Finch? It was like a boring grey island and i swear literally nothing happened. I gotta remember the name so i can warn people not to play it. It was seriously the worst. I feel bad cause i spent years telling everyone What Remains of Edith Finch sucked dick and it turns out i never even played it, i thought it was a totally different game. I'm gonna have to play it now aren't I?

*Edit*

It was Dear Esther. Never play Dear Esther. It really sucks.