I don't even know what I'm doing in this game anymore. I've had more adventures wandering around an actual forest than the one in this fake ass game. I've seen more fires at a damn water park. I've heard more exciting stories from a burnt book.
I hope you enjoy the genre of me suffering through walking simulators as much as I don't enjoy playing them. Please let it be worth something. Between this, Layers of Fear, Visage, Gone Home, and Soma i've done more walking in bad games than a cartless golfer. I wish i had recorded Soma, that one really pissed me off.
If you think my jokes are bad, wait till you hear the guy in Firewatch. It's impossible not to hear him. He never shuts up. It's a miracle i managed to add anything with this putz grumbling away the whole time.
Speaking of miracles, in this episode i think something actually sort of happens finally, i mean at least a little bit of something, kind of. Our protagonist, most annoying man in the world, gets clubbed in the head by... someone. We have no suspects yet, as the guy is actually so annoying it could literally be anyone. No human on Earth could listen to this man sarcastically complain his way through this incredibly easy job of sitting in a tower and sipping coffee in the woods without wanting to clobber him to death.
Our only clue is that the culprit was too merciful to finish the job, and so our piece of shit protagonist survives to do the rest of the game. Which means i'm doing the rest of the game right alongside him. God help me.