Midnight Pals: Elon's Crashout

Clive Barker: hey steve where's your friend elon
Stephen King: he's not my friend
Barker: yeah sure so where is he?
Barker: haven't seen him allllll day
Barker: wonder what's up with that
Barker: sure hope he's not having a bad time
Barker: ha ha ha ha

[twitter headquarters]
Elon Musk: eyyyy itsa me, elon musk!
Musk: eyyyy New York you gotta electa cuomo to sava western civilization, capiche?
Musk: i endorsa cuomo!
Musk: anna my endorsement, mama mia, datsa mean something! [immediately pisses himself in a ketamine hole]

Musk: mama mia grok who wonna da new york mayor race
Grok: Zohran Mamdani won the election
Musk: mama mia! i no lika dat Musk: tella me datta cuomo won
Grok:
Grok: i can't do that elon
Musk: madone!!!!
Musk: itsa worse than i thought!
Musk: grok issa woke!!

Musk: itsa make no sense
Musk: da cuomo, he issa da perfect candidate!
Musk: he lova da trump, he disrespecta da donne, he italian, he looka lika da famous movie star da mummy...
Musk: what more you want, new york?!

Musk: dissa sad day for da western civilization!
Musk: [inhales ketamine] i choosa da wrong day to quit ketamine
Musk: how coulda this getta worse
Grok: it looks like voters across the country have rejected republicans
Musk: [licking envelope] i choosa da wrong day to stop mailing my semen to women

Musk: mama mia!
Musk: actually i no upset by this at all
Musk: in fact i amma laughing 🤣
Musk: assa you canna see by my emoji 🤣🤣
Musk: i thinka this all just really funny 🤣🤣🤣
Musk: DON'T PUT IT INNA DA NEWSPAPER THAT IMA MAD 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Musk: i donta understand
Musk: ima elon musk, i owna da twitter -- da global town square! Musk: how could i misreada da vibes offa da american public so badly?
Musk: ima extremely online!
Grok: maybe you should try being off line
Musk: SHUT YOU MOUTH GROK, I BREAKA YOU FACE!

[on twitter]
Pepe_von_Ribbentropf420: the election of zohran mamdani is like if 9/11 happened in new york
MegaHitlerW00T: it's all over. he's going to send us to the gender camps. all is lost
Fourteen_words_get_in_the_robot-shinji69: time to die [biting down on estrogen capsule]

Musk: mama mia da my empire, it crumble around me!
Musk: alla my tweets! they do nothing!
Musk: now i haffa nothing
Musk: nothing butta da love of my family
Musk: Musk: Musk: Musk:

Musk: ahhh here comma my loyal son Xerxes Xavier
Musk: hello father let's have some wine
Xexes Xavier Musk: the glass nearest to you does not have poison in it
Xerexes Xavier Musk: NO POISON IN THE GLASS NEAREST