Midnight Pals: Girls in Space

[space coven]
Mary Robinette Kowal: listen up, boys!
Kowal: I've got a story for you… the story of the lady astronaut!
Kowal: that's right
Kowal: a lady wants to be an astronaut
Kowal: how about that?!

Kowal: while working for jim Henson productions, i was inspired by that great space explorer miss piggy to ask: what if women could go to space?
Kowal: i would call it
Kowal: GIRLS IN SPAAAAAAAAACE
Kowal: with captain Lass Her-throb
Kowal: first mate girly
Kowal: and dr. Julian strangewoman

Robert Heinlein: what? girls in space?
Heinlein: that's preposterous!
Heinlein: everyone knows that space travel requires the cold calculating mind and stout body of a man
Heinlein: a girl in space! don't make me laugh!
Kowal: no it's true
Kowal: girls can go to space

Heinlein: hyeah right
Heinlein: back me up here, boys
HG wells: I've never heard of a girl in space
Jules Verne: yeah i mean c'mon
Verne: what would a girl even do in space?
Verne: have a period?

Wells: maybe talk about her feelings
Verne: haha!
Heinlein: "in space, no one can hear you nag"
Verne: haha!
Mary Shelley: sup fuckers?
Wells:
Verne:
Heinlein:

Shelley: you lads talkin' bout something?
Wells:
Verne:
Heinlein:
Shelley: [picking teeth with switchblade] don't let me cramp your style
Wells:
Verne:
Heinlein:

Heinlein: shouldn't
Heinlein: shouldn't you be over at midnight society?
Shelley: why? something happening here i shouldn't know about?
Heinlein: n
Heinlein: n-no

Kowal: they were saying girls can't go to space
Shelley: there's plenty of girls in space
Shelley: what about the moon
Heinlein: what about the moon
Shelley: she's a lesbian
Heinlein: WHAT!?!? NO!!! STOP!
Heinlein: YOU'RE RUINING THE MOON!!

Kowal: so anyway an asteroid hits earth, causing cataclysmic climate change
Kowal: that will kill all life on earth in a couple decades
Kowal: so naturally there's a real problem that needs to be solved
Kowal: and that problem is workplace sexism in the space agency

Kowal: sure, some of the cavemen at the space agency don't think a woman is good enough to go to space
Kowal: but the lady astronaut is going to show
Kowal: that she is a strong independent woman who is also intelligent
Kowal: and no man is gonna keep her down!

Kowal: this girlboss is determined to be an inspiration to all the little girls back on earth
Kowal: who can all imagine that they can grow up to be anything!
Kowal: i mean, at least until that climate apocalypse
Kowal: i guess that kind of puts a damper on it

Kowal: some men don't think she can be a lady astronaut because she has anxiety
Shelley: does she stab them
Kowal:
Kowal: no she deals with her anxiety
Shelley: she should have stabbed them
Shelley: that's what i would've done