Midnight Pals: Elon's Love Life

Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of
Elon Musk [rising from bushes]: eyyyy stephano king
King: oh it's elon
King: i thought you were busy with doge
Musk: eyyy i'm done witha that
Musk: so more time to spenda with my best amigo stephano king!
King:

King: are you
King: are you sure you don't have more you want to do with doge
Poe: steve don't say that
King: edgar do not test me
King: i swear to god i am at the end of my rope here

Musk: see, i accomplish alla my doge goals
Musk: so i choose to leava da government ova my own free will
Musk: as you canna see on my shirt that says "i choose to leava da government ova my own free will"
King:
Koontz:
Poe:
Lovecraft:
Barker:
Barker: hey i have a question

Edward Lee: bro
Lee: bro you know what your problem is bro
Lee: you shouldn't be wasting your time hanging with these losers bro
Lee: you need to get laid bro
King: that's right listen to edward
King: you should not be hanging with us losers

Elon Musk: mama mia ima da elon musk
Musk: i impregnate 19 women!
Lee: yeah but have you ever been
Lee: L A I D
Musk:
Musk:
Musk:
Lee: bro
Lee: bro you're killing me bro

Lee: bro let me help you bro
Lee: show me your game bro
Musk: ok
Musk: eyyy if you sleepa witha me, i giva you a horse paisano!
Lee: bro
Lee: bro that's weak
Lee: bro that's never gonna work
Anne Rice: hold on just a second there
Rice: what kind of horse

Musk: mama mia maybe i'm too smart for da sex
Musk: maybe i evolve beyonda your base earthly notions ova da sex
Musk: now i hava da sex inna da realm ova da mind
Musk: you gotta have a really high-a IQ to understand
Barker: haha good luck with this one ed
Lee: no way bro i can do this

Lee: bro listen getting a chick is easy
Lee: you just have to find some girl with absolutely no standards
Lee: like someone who would fuck just an absolute worm
Musk: lika kate miller?
Lee: yeah bro like kate miller
Lee: bro that's genius bro!
Musk: you heara dat stephano king?
Musk: ima da smart!

Stephen Miller: [oozing a thin gray liquid from all pores on his vast egg-shaped head] it's scientifically proven that black people have a special bone that makes them good at crime
Elon Musk: mama mia how can i compete witha that

Elon Musk: eeeeyyyy kate miller
Kate Miller: elon what could you possibly offer me that my worm-like racist husband can't
Musk: i ama also racist
Kate Miller: hmm
Kate Miller: ok that's a strong opening salvo
Kate Miller: keep going

Kate Miller: as a high value white woman, i need to properly invest my womb for the future of the master race
Kate Miller: how can i resist a man descended from 5 sister-fucking dutch colonials?
Kate Miller: take me now elon
Musk: mama mia!!! dats a spicy meatball!!!