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Bitter Karella
Bitter Karella

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Midnight Pals: Machine Movies

Darren Aronofsky: hey it's me Darren aronofsky, the doyenne of psychological horror
Aronofsky: you may remember me from such innovative psychological horror concepts like
Aronofsky: "what if you had some really annoying houseguests"
Aronofsky: or
Aronofsky: "what if a guy was really fat"

Aronofsky: but then I realized
Aronofsky: why am i wasting my time thinking of ideas like a chump?
Aronofsky: a computer could do that just as good as i could
Poe:
King:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
Barker:
Barker: please by all means
Barker: tell us more
Poe: clive

Barker: ya know
Barker: my favorite kind of own
Barker: is the self-own
Barker: like, i don't even have to say anything

Aronofsky: i was thinking about how i made that scary movie about a big fat guy
Aronofsky: and then i was on deviantart and i saw there was all this AI-generated art of big fat women eating cake
Aronofsky: and i thought "wow, these people sure do appreciate the horrifying psychological terror of the fat body"
Poe:
King:
Barker:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
Aronofsky: and that gave me an idea

Aronofsky: art, one of mankind's greatest achievements, is quickly becoming more popular with each passing day
Aronofsky: i invite you to follow along as our scientists work to conceive of a future where art is not made by man but by machine
Aronofsky: movie groups of tomorrow are made up of several entities
Aronofsky: computers
Aronofsky: pneumatic directors
Aronofsky: humans who tolerate machines

Aronofsky: this is going to be the biggest innovation in AI-generated horror since MIT media lab invented Shelley AI
Mary Shelley: what
Aronofsky: well researchers at MIT invented
Shelley: i fucking heard you the first time
Shelley: it wasn't a clarification what

Aronofsky: see, researchers at MIT invented a mary shelley bot and
Mary Shelley: [shivs aronofsky]
Poe: mary! it wasn't HIS bot!
Shelley: fuck that shit
Shelley: if there's one thing i can't stand, it's a fuckin messenger

Aronofsky: did you see my new AI-generated movie?
Barker: well i was going to
Barker: but then i thought
Barker: why waste time watching a movie like a chump?
Barker: when i could just get the AI to watch it and summarize it for me
Aronofsky:
Shelley: my guy makes a strong point

Aronofsky:
Aronofsky: so did you read the AI-generated summary of my movie?
Barker: well i was going to
Barker: but then i thought
Barker: why am i wasting time reading a summary like a chump?
Barker: when i could just get the AI to summarize the summary

Barker: I got the AI to summarize the summary of the summary
Barker: so now I've got it down to one word
Aronofsky: what's the word?
Barker: one sec, i'll get the AI to summarize it for you
Aronofsky: i don't need to take this kind of mockery
Aronofsky: i'm Darren Aronofsky, award-winning creator of "The Whale" and "Mother!"
Aronofsky: i made your childhood depressing!

Aronofsky: don't forget the exclamation mark in mother(!) btw
Aronofsky: it denotes excitement

Aronofsky: great news!
Aronofsky: I've got the AI summarizing things so efficiently that I don't ever have to experience a sensation ever again
Thomas Ligotti: god i wish that was me

Comments

Barker: like, i don't even have to say anything And yet you will, Clive, and yet you will.

Gary McCammon


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