Midnight Pals: New Snape

JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i have big newssss
King: oh no
Rowling: it'sss about harry potter!
King: oh!
King: i didn't expect that
King: well that sounds just fine then!
Poe: careful steve
Poe: she's tricked you before

King: now come on edgar
King: harry potter is a fun, exciting, apolitical adventure!
King: i'm sure that whatever joanne wants to tell us about harry potter
King: it's not going to be anything bad!
Poe:
King: she would never intentionally ruin her most beloved property!
Poe:
King: oh no this is going to be about the toilets isn't it

Rowling: now i know mossst of you know me for my transsphobia
Rowling: but what you might not know iss that i'm alsso a writer

King: that's actually true!
King: see, some of you kids might not remember that
King: but ol' Joanne here was actually really big in the writing world back in the 90s
Joe Hill: dad, i know this

Rowling: i'm actually the writer of a little sseriesss called harry potter
Rowling: you might have heard of it
Rowling: it'ss whimssical, it's magical
Rowling: and mosst of all
Rowling: it should dissstract you from my tweets
Barker: did you finally tweet the fourteen words
Barker: is that what this is about?
Barker: who won the pool?

Barker: damn i can't believe you're still doing harry potter
Barker: i thought you just pivoted entirely to transsphobia
Rowling: i can do both!
Rowling: i'm a renaisssance woman!

Rowling: i can both tweet transsphobia AND find time to write!
Barker: oh yeah? what have you written lately?
Rowling: well i wrote
Rowling:
Rowling:

Rowling: asss you know
Rowling: there'sss a new harry potter tv ssseriesss
Barker: is it transphobic
Rowling: it'ss whimssical
Rowling: it will make your childhood magic again
Barker: i'm not hearing a no

Rowling: again with the transss!
Rowling: everyone isss sssso concerned with not killing the transs!
Rowling: Will no one rid me of thiss turbulent demographic??

Rowling: anyway the new harry potter sseriess hass casst Paapa Essiedu as sssnape!
Rowling: but i bet you lib TRA BLM antifa virtue signalling moonbat wokescolds will say that'ss transsphobic
Rowling: pleasse ssay it'ss transsphobic
Rowling: i've got a really hot tweet all lined up and ready to fire

Barker: actually i just have one question
Poe: oh no
Rowling: yess?
Barker: did the optics of harry potter's dad bullying a black kid until he becomes a nazi wizard worry you?
Rowling:

Rowling: i knew everyone would ssay i wass being racist
Rowling: but actually i'm sstriking an important blow for progressss
Rowling: by showing that black people can also be nazi wizardss
Poe:
Barker:
King:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
Rowling: you might even say i'm taking a heroic sstand

Lovecraft: i have mixed feelings
Poe: howard no!

Rowling: are you ssaying a black man issn't good enough to be a nazi wizard?
Rowling: i can't believe a bunch of WHITE guyss are telling me that a black man issn't good enough to be a nazi wizard!
Rowling: WOW i think we know who the REAL racisstss are here
Rowling: ssoundss like you've all got a lot of growing up to do