Midnight Pals: Butt Toucher

Edward Lee: bro
Lee: you spank chicks?
Charles Williams: oh yes, quite
Lee: bro
Lee: like
Lee: you touch their butts?
Williams: yes
Lee: bro
Lee: that's sick bro
Lee: you gotta show me how you do that bro

Lee: wait a minute bro
Lee: this isn't like
Lee: part of that white magic shit is it, bro?
Lee: i'm not down with magic
Williams: oh no no no not at all!
Williams: it's strictly a sex thing
Lee: alright bro that's cool

Williams: its actually pretty easy
Williams: see, first you get a sword
Lee: bro
Lee: you spank them with a sword?!
Williams: here i'll show you
Williams: [pulling out sword] i say would any of you ladies like a good walloping on your big juicy lady bum with my mighty sword?

Williams: i say would any lady present enjoy a bit of the old rumbleseat roundhouse?
Anne Rice: me!
Rice: i was here first!
Rice: [elbowing everyone else aside] outta my way!!

Williams: how about the rest of you ladies?
Williams: patricia! why, i'll bet you'd love to have a dashing lad give you a right thrashing, ey?
Patricia Highsmith: a dashing lad? eh pass
Williams: how about you, mary?
Mary Shelley: you should give the sword to me

Shelley: c'mon pal hand over the sword
Shelley: i'll show you how it's used
Poe: uh mary
Poe: mary that's a real sword
Shelley: yeah?

Poe: i mean you can do some real damage with that
Poe: not just comical stabs like you with your shiv
Shelley: my shiv stabs ain't comical
Barker: yeah edgar, i can confirm
Barker: they hurt

Barker: wait a minute
Barker: has mary never shivved you?
Poe:
Barker: OH MY GOD
Barker: edgar's never been shivved!
Barker: we got a shivv virgin here!

King: you've never been shivved? for real?
Poe: of course not!
King: how'd that happen?
Poe: i
Poe: i make it my business not be shivved!
Poe: besides i'm not the only one
Poe: dean's never been shivved either
Shelley: well duh of course not
Shelley: that would be mean

Shelley: c'mon edgar let me give you a little stab
Shelley: just for good luck