Midnight Pals: Quality Journalism

Jesse Singal: [crying into the fisher price talky telephone] help police please send help
Singal: the trans were mean to me online!
Singal: and for no reason!
Singal: i'm just a journalist asking questions!
Katherine Huggins: [ears perk up] just asking questions you saaaaay?

Katherine Huggins: hello jesse singal i'm Katherine huggins, intrepid newshound of the fourth estate
Singal: how can i trust you?
Huggins: here at the daily dot, we believe in journalism's sacred duty to endanger trans people
Singal: how many, tho?
Huggins: as many as possible
Singal: ok you seem fair and even-handed

Huggins: don't worry jesse, you can trust be to cover this issue in an unbiased manner
Huggins: we definitely don't want to bias the public by including any trans perspectives in this piece
Huggins: i mean, it's not like they're people or anything

Huggins: let's start at the beginning jesse
Huggins: is it true that you, a fearless truth teller, were scandalously yelled at online merely for asking reasonable questions?
Singal: wow! yeah!
Singal: that's exactly what happened!
Huggins: is it also true that trans people smell bad and can't dress?
Singal: you really did your research!

Huggins: i'm here to get the real scoop jesse
Huggins: tell me your side of the story
Singal: ok so there were trans people existing on the internet
Huggins: whoa whoa whoa!!! stop right there!!
Huggins: just out there, on the internet??? where anyone could see them?
Singal: yeah i know, right?
Huggins: i'm going to be sick

Singal: so these trans people were existing on the internet
Singal: and i thought "well!"
Singal: "we'll soon see about that!"
Huggins: truly, jesse, you are the hero that these times call for
Huggins: and i'm going to say that in the story i write about you

Singal: so anyway the trans all blocked me
Singal: what if they're saying mean things behind the blocks?
Singal: mean things about me!
Singal: mommy's special little man!
Singal: and i thought - this cannot stand

Singal: and then! get this!
Singal: it turned out that all these trans didn't LIKE me!
Singal: me! loveable scamp jesse singal!
Singal: i was attacked by the trans people
Huggins: interesting! why do the trans people hate you so much?
Singal: because
Huggins:
Singal:
Huggins:
Singal:
Huggins: is it because you're a fearless truth teller?
Singal: yes! yes that's the ticket!

Singal: i realized, and i thought this was weird, that not all the trans on this bluesky website had commit suicide yet
Huggins:
Singal: luckily, i knew ANOTHER website that is geared to solving that problem
Singal: in a final sort of way
Singal: if you catch my meaning
Singal: if you get my drift

Singal: so you see, it's vitally important that i flood bluesky with my unique follower list of groypers and very professional ivy league journalists who find groypers to be a breath of fresh air
Huggins: yes yes when you say it like that, it all makes perfect sense

Huggins: i can see the headline now!
Huggins: "reasonable man unfairly pilloried by internet snowflakes"
Huggins: that's right, everyone's favorite special boy jesse singal is back
Huggins: now i know what you're thinking ladies
Huggins: [winking] and yes! he is single
Singal: mention that i don't vape piss