Midnight Pals: Obelisk

Wyle E. Young: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the big black obelisk
Lovecraft: [sweats] a big black obelisk???
Young: that's right
Young: made of really weird stone that's so black
Young: like blacker than black
Lovecraft: is the stone greasy?
Lovecraft: oh boy please say the stone is greasy

Young: so there's this little town in Texas
Young: and one day this giant mysterious black obelisk appears
Young: and it starts to mess with people's minds
Robert E. Howard: now hold on there, pard
Howard: ya don't mess with Texas!

Young: now this black obelisk is messing up everyone's brains
Young: filling them with scenes of gore and violence that never were
Young: naturally everyone is pissed that their tax dollars went to building this giant black obelisk that messes with their brains
Young: prime example of government pork

Young: so they go to yell at the mayor for approving the construction of a giant black obelisk that messes with people's brains
Young: because, look, this sort of thing wouldn't happen if people just paid attention to local politics before a giant black obelisk that messes with your brain just appears on the green

Poe: it sounds like you're speaking from experience
Young: don't even get me started on how many times I've woken up to find that the municipal government is diverting funds earmarked for road maintenance and extra library hours to the acquisition and construction of giant black stone obelisks that mess with your mind

Young: so people i am begging you
Young: get involved
Young: go to your city council meetings
Young: write to your congressman
Young: educate yourself on the issues
Young: before they just put a giant black obelisk in your town

Lovecraft: so how does this giant black obelisk mess with people's minds anyway?
Young: well, for one thing, it makes them really racist
Lovecraft:
Lovecraft:
Poe: don't say it howard
Barker: he's gonna say it
Lovecraft: how is that messing with their minds?
Barker: ha ha ha he said it! the absolute madman, he said it!

Young: see, it makes people think they're fighting in the civil war
Young: so they're just goring each other all over the place
King: wow! sounds like a real UNCIVIL war!
Young:
King: get it? see, it's a pun on-
Barker: jesus christ steve