Midnight Pals: The Bad Timeline

Harry Turtledove: greetings citizens of earth 16
Poe: hi harry
King: hi harry
Koontz: hi
Lovecraft: hello
Barker: hey
Turtledove: i hope that the timeline hasn't been irrevocably altered during my uneventful absence

Turtledove: i'm back from my secret mission on behalf of the Temporal Corps correcting the timeline
Thomas Disch: ah i see you've been playing the classic Legend video game Timequest by Bob Bates!
Turtledove:
Turtledove: video game?!?!?
Turtledove: this is real life!

Turtledove: i'm happy to report that I've finally corrected the damage done to the timeline
Turtledove: and history is back on its proper trajectory
King:
Poe:
Koontz:
Barker:
Lovecraft:

Poe: you're sure history is on the right trajectory?
Turtledove: of course
Poe: nothing could have happened to make it go wrong?
Turtledove: well
Turtledove: if i'm being totally honest
Turtledove: i did accidently squash a bug back in the Mesozoic

Turtledove: but it was just one bug
Turtledove: i'm sure it's fine
Turtledove: it's probably fine
Turtledove: boy i'm hungry
Turtledove: anyone got any dodo eggs?

Poe: harry dodos have been extinct for hundreds of years
Turtledove: what? no no that can't be
Turtledove: i mean i know they were endangered back in the 80s
Turtledove: but after president Mondale's reintroduction program...
Poe: oh boy harry
Poe: maybe you should sit down

Turtledove: what? Ronald Reagan??!
Poe: yeah
Turtledove: the actor???
Poe: yeah
Turtledove: no no the timeline's all wrong!
Turtledove: [adjusting mysterious handheld device] great scott i must have transfigurated the chronometer instead of recontrabulating the interspekulon!
Barker: oh yeah that explains it
Poe: clive

Turtledove: who's president now
Poe: it's Donald trump
Turtledove:
Poe: again
Turtledove:
Turtledove: oh you guys are fucked

Turtledove: [holding mysterious device] let me just check the readings
Turtledove: oh boy, no wonder
King: what is it?
Turtledove: you guys are just lousy with tachyons
King: is that good?
Turtledove: no!
Turtledove: it's bad!
Turtledove: it's very very bad!

Turtledove: obviously this timeline can only be the work of my arch nemesis
Turtledove: the evil leaper
King: the evil leaper?
Turtledove: yes, he leaps from time to time, striving to make wrong I set right
Turtledove: Ray Bradbury
King:
Koontz:
Poe:
Lovecraft:
Barker: i gotta say, i was not expecting that

Ray Bradbury: it's me ray Bradbury
Bradbury: that's right! i'm altering the timeline!
Bradbury: soon it will all be malt soda shops and ruddy-cheeked little girls, ice cream socials, hay rides in the brisk autumn evening, lazy summer afternoons down at the ol' fishin hole
Bradbury: the eternal 1930!