Midnight Pals: Sssspace Sssstory

JK Rowling: hello children
Poe: oh Joanne!
Poe: I'm
Poe: I
Poe: I really did not expect to see you again
Rowling: oh really edgar? and why wasss that?
Poe: because of that whole Olympics business

Poe: you know with imane khelif
Poe: all that stuff you did
Poe: we just kinda thought
Poe: you know we all thought
Poe: and I don't just mean me i mean
Barker: we all thought your lawyer told you to fuckin zip it

Rowling: well well well clive
Rowling: assss you should all know by now
Rowling: JK Rowling heedssss the wordsss of no goblin lawyer!

Rowling: I ssslither to the beat of my own pungi!
Rowling: I'm my own dark lord!
Rowling: and nobody'ssss ssssweetheart!
Rowling: I'M JK FUCKIN' ROWLING!!!!
Poe: so then
Poe: why are you here Joanne?
Rowling: i'm here becaussse i have a new ssstory

Barker: a new story?
Barker: is it more terf shit?
Rowling: it's in ssspace!
Barker: the terfs are in space now?
Rowling: i didn't sssay it was about terf ssshit
Barker: you also aren't denying it
Rowling:
Rowling: sssss

Barker: oh a space story huh?
Rowling: i call it
Rowling: Commander Bibbles Blobkin and the Goofy Galactic Goobygloob
Barker:
Poe:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
King:
King: well, I love it!!

Barker: i'd like to ask Ursula her opinion
Rowling: we don't need to get her opinion
Barker: hey Ursula what do you think of this?
Rowling: we really don't need to asssk her
Rowling: we already know how she feels
Ursula Le Guin: it stinks
Rowling: yeah well sssee what i mean?

Rowling: my firssst idea wasss Chrisstmas Pigss in Ssspace

King: what inspired you to do a space story, joanne?
Rowling: well, i wassss watching ssstar trek the other day
King: great show, great show
Rowling: i didn't care much for it
Rowling: it had the ssstink of diane duane
Rowling: [flicking tongue] i can tassste her!

Rowling: but what i DID like
Rowling: wasss how the crew of the ssstarship enterprissse jussst poopsss whereever they want to and then they jussst beam it out into ssspace
Poe:
King:
Lovecraft:
Koontz:
Barker:

Poe: i don't think that's actually how they do it, joanne
Rowling: WELL
Rowling: why wouldn't they???
Rowling: i mean, they have the technology!

Rowling: you are all legally obligated to love my new ssstory!
Rowling: it'sss a jolly ssspace adventure!
Rowling: but maybe that'sssss too ssssophissssticated for you lot here at the midnight ssssociety
Rowling: maybe i would find a more receptive audience
Rowling: at SSSSPACE COVEN!

Barker: so she went over to Space Coven?
Barker: yeah that's gonna be weird
Barker: i don't know how her terf shit will go over with them
Poe: yes, sci fi writers are generally very progressive on that issue
Barker: no i mean cuz they're all chasers
Poe:

Barker: what? you're acting like you all didn't know this
Barker: everyone knows sci fi writers are all chasers
Poe: clive you're just saying things now
King: yeah c'mon, surely not ALL of them
King: i mean, what about Robert Heinlein?
Barker: you're seriously asking?

Poe: clive do you know something or are you just making stuff up now?
Barker: i'm just saying he's got a vibe
Barker: tell me he doesn't