Midnight Pals: Love on a Battlefield

Stephen King: guys did you hear there’s a  video game campfire too?
Mary Shelley:  that sounds like some nerd shit
King: no no there are lots of cool people there
King: hideo kojima, sid meier, bob bates  
King: the 2 guys from andromeda
Shelley: [cracking knuckles in anticipation]

Hideo Kojima: IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 19XX, MERCENERY GASEOUS SNAKE IS BROUGHT OUT OF RETIREMENT TO FIGHT THE REMNANTS OF THE WOLFDOG UNIT...
Kojima: INCLUDING...
Kojima: ROPE CHOKER, POISON EATER, TORPEDO LAUNCHER , AXE GRINDER, BOMB DETONATOR, AND DIPPY DOG

Kojima: do you think that love can bloom on a battlefield?
Kojima:
Kojima: yes...
Kojima: even on a battlefield...
Ken Williams: hey my girlfriend roberta and I saw you from across the bar and we’re really digging your vibe
Williams: Can we buy you a drink?

Kojima: the villainous traitor bad boy has kidnapped dr good scientist and forced him to help build the ultimate weapon of mass destruction...
Kojima: the metal gear...
Kojima: it’s like a tank...
Kojima: but it can move...
Kojima:
Kojima: But wait...
Kojima: not with treads...
Kojima: with legs...

[at Midnight Society]
Hideo Kojima: I have an idea for a new video game...
Kojima: About you!
Stephen King: oh wow a game about us? that sounds pretty ok!
Poe: yeah I’d be curious about this
Kojima: the game is called ‘the association of Fire Story friends’

Kojima: a hideo kojima game...
Kojima: written by hideo kojima...
Kojima: produced by hideo kojima...
Kojima: directed by hideo kojima...
Kojima: catering by hideo kojima...

 Kojima: The fire story friend association members names are...
Kojima: Bird Scare..
Poe:
Kojima: Clown daddy...
King:
Kojima: Knife Stabber...
Mary Shelley:
Kojima: Little Friend...
Dean Koontz:
Kojima: Cat Bitch...
Clive Barker:
Kojima: and Silly Racist...
Lovecraft:
Lovecraft: w-which one is me

Kojima: SUBMITTED FOR THE APPROVAL OF THE MIDNIGHT SOCIETY I CALL THIS THE TALE OF THE STORY FRIENDS...
Kojima: IT IS A GAME WHERE THE GOAL IS NOT TO FIGHT...
Mary Shelley: what the hell is this shit
Thomas Disch: sh let him cook
Disch: mr kojima in level 5 is there a way to escape the dungeon w/o the wizard‘s key?
Shelley: shut UP nerd

Kojima: In this game, you play as clown daddy...
Kojima: bird scare has given him an assignment...
Kojima: he must tell a story without anyone hearing
King: wow! incredible!
King: hideo, once again you’ve redefined a genre!

Kojima: this story is also about how war is bad...
King: whats the theme tho
Kojima:
Kojima: uh, its that war is bad...
King:
Koontz:
Poe:
Lovecraft:
Barker:
Kojima: perhaps this three hour cutscene will explain better...

Kojima: now this next story will be my last ever...
Kojima: for real this time...
King: aw really?
Kojima: yes...
King:
King: really?