Midnight Pals: The Halloween Factory 4

King: after witnessing the virgin birth of dracula i sure feel like i got the halloween spirit
Debbie Dadey: [pushing glasses up bridge of nose] actually
Dadey: for your information, sir, there's no proof that was really dracula
Marcia Jones: indubitably my good sir

King: what are you talking about? he performed all the dracula miracles!
King: he walked on water! he turned into a bat!  
King: renfield even denied him THREE times before the cock crowed!

Dadey: [snort laugh] a common fallacy
Dadey: but you see
Dadey: dracula
Dadey: doesn't drink lemonade
King:
King: yeah that part did seem kinda weird

Bradbury: ah yes you've got the spirit now, boy, but the night is far from over
Bradbury: have you ever wondered
Bradbury: why we carve jack-o-lanterns on halloween?
Bradbury: journey with me!
Bradbury: back! back 5000 years!
Bradbury: to ancient egypt!
Bradbury: and the very first jack-o'-lanterns!

Bradbury: behold! the first jack-o'-lanterns!
Bradbury: 400 feet high, made of 5 million tons of limestone!
Bradbury: built to house the sarcophagus of the great pharaoh Ramses XXIII himself!
Debbie Dadley: [pushing glasses up bridge of nose] actually
Dadley: your information, sir, is highly dubious

Bradbury: quick! ape! clown! cennobite!
Bradbury: have you ever wondered
Bradbury: why we have skeletons on halloween
Barker: no
Bradbury: quick! journey with me!
Bradbury: back to ancient mexico! 6000 years ago!
Bradbury: where skeletons were first invented!

Bradbury: quick! ape! clown! cennobite!
Bradbury: have you ever wondered
Bradbury: why we get candy on halloween
Bradbury: quick! journey with me!
Bradbury: back to the fabulous hanging candy gardens of ancient babylon!
Bradbury: 8000 years ago!

Bradbury: quick! ape! clown! cennobite!
Bradbury: have you ever wondered
Bradbury: why we have those giant lawn skeletons on halloween?
Poe: how does this help us find dean?
Bradbury: quick! journey with me!
Bradbury: back to home depot! 10,000 years ago!

Bradbury: quick! ape! clown! cennobite!
Bradbury: have you ever wondered
Bradbury: why we put razorblades in apples on halloween?
Bradbury: quick! journey with me!
Bradbury: back to the druids of stone henge! 50 million years ago!

Bradbury: and now you know
Bradbury: the reason for the season
King: boy that was a night
King: but that still didn't help us find dean!
Bradbury: didn't it?
Dean Koontz: hi guys
All: DEAN!?

King: Dean Koontz! where were you all night? we were worried sick
Koontz: Aleister Crowley let me come with him when he went egging houses
Lovecraft: [rushing in] g-guys i just heard someone egged my house!

Koontz: i'm sorry i ran away
Barker: no no I'M sorry dean, i shouldn't have yelled at you
King: well i feel like we all learned something tonight
Poe: what's that?
King: HALLOWEEN RULES! [freeze frame as everyone jumps in the air to high five]