Midnight Pals: Jail Time

JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: you know if labor takess over, they're going to force you to ressspect transss people?
Barker: didn't keir starmer just literally throw them under the bus
Rowling:
Rowling: shut up
Rowling: sstop ruining thiss for me!

Rowling: asss i wass sssaying
Rowling: itss been reported in the reputable presssss
Rowling: that labor isss totally going to do this
Rowling: and who are you going to believe?
Rowling: ssensssationalissst british tabloidsss or your lyin' eyesss?

Rowling: let me tell you
Rowling: if they try to make me resspect a transss perssson
Rowling: i would rather go to jail!
Rowling: i will go to my execution assss if it wasss my wedding!!
Rowling: i am a fearless truth teller!!!!

Rowling: i will go to jail!
Rowling: i'll enjoy it! it'll be fun!
Rowling: i'll work in the prissson library!
Rowling: maybe ferment sssome ketchup behind a radiator!
Rowling: maybe get real in the exercise yard
Rowling: and a big sswasstika prissson faccce tat

Rowling: they're going to sssend me to prissson!! for misgendering!!! thisss isss going to happen! Mark my wordsss!
Rowling: alsssso antifa issss going to murder all the sssmall busssinessss owners tomorrow, i read it on the internet

Rowling: watch, you'll be cowed by my sssolemn and dignified bearing assss they lead me to the gallowsss
Rowling: jusst you watch!
Poe:
King:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
Barker:
Barker: why do you come here anyway
Rowling: I HAVE A SSSTOKER!!! I HAVE THE RIGHT!

Rowling: wow, the left hass finally lossst me! [turning a big dial that says "fascism" while looking over her shoulder at the audience for approval]

Barker: like seriously where are you getting this
Rowling: i get all my newsss on the transss menace from the mosssst reputable sssource
Rowling: the sssinfest webcomic
Elon Musk: [rising from bushes] eeeey did someone-a say sinfest?

Musk: itsa me, Elon Musk!
Musk: i love-a da sinfest! mama mia! itsa like-a mama's marinara [chef's kiss]
Musk: i justa get backa from shadow banning da account data make-a funna da sinfest
Musk: itta too cutting and incisive!  
Musk: it musta be destroyed!

Musk: eeeeey jk rowling
Musk: we hava so much in common
Musk: we shoulda hang out
Rowling: what do we have in common?
Musk: well-a
Musk: i da richest man in the world, you da richest woman
Musk: we botha hate da jews and trans
Musk: anna we botha very divorced!

Rowling: hmmm
Rowling: how do you feel about free ssspeech
Musk: i thinka people shoulda be free to praise me!
Rowling: oh my god
Rowling: we're like two peasss in a pod!