Midnight Pals: Blueberry Critical

Stephen King: submitted for the-
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: I’d like to introduce you all to my favorite terf deatheater
Rowling: Kathleen ssssstock
Clive Barker: why
Poe: clive that’s-
Poe: actually yeah why

JK Rowling: I just thought sssshe had ssssome interessssting thoughtsss to share
Barker: literally why would you think that
Barker: why would you ever think that
Barker: why are you even here
Rowling: tell them what you told me about the blueberriessss
Barker:
Barker: what about the blueberries
Roald Dahl: blueberries you say??????

Kathleen Stock: I can’t believe people would dare criticize me online
Stock: holding my own words against me…
Stock: that’s EXACTLY what the naughty kids in Charlie and the chocolate factory would do
Dahl:
Stock: I mean
Stock: just think about it
Dahl:
Dahl: ok sure why not

Stock: god, all those trans people
Stock: I’d like to see THEM get blueberrified
Dahl: ee hee hee
Stock: just completely filled up with juice
Dahl: ee hee heeeee
Stock: just burstingly, sloshingly full of juice
Dahl: eeeee heee heeeee

Stock: god I’d like to see them just inflate with juice until they’re SO stretched and tight, their skin tingling with exquisite fullness
Dahl: eeeee heeee heeeee
JK Rowling: well they’re really getting along, I’ll jusssst leave you lot to it
Poe: wait no-
Poe: oh son of a bitch

Stock: I’m so mad at trans people, I just wish I could blueberrify every single one
Stock: not as a sexual thing tho, I just think it would be interesting
Dahl: oh yeah yeah definitely just interesting
Dahl: and funny
Dahl: I just think it would be SO funny
Stock: oh yes funny

Dahl: what’s your deviantart handle
Stock: [eyes shifting] why would you think I’m on deviantart
Dahl: I’m xxxeverblastingcumpopperxxx24_7
Stock:
Stock: [quietly] adult_female_juiceblimp85