Midnight Pals: Hot Takes

Lovecraft: S-submitted for the approval of the midnight society, I call this
Lovecraft: the tale of the rats in the walls
King: oo
King: jeez howard
King: that story’s a little dicey ya know?
Lovecraft: what?
King: you know
King: with the
King: you know

Lovecraft: a-are you upset by the cannibalism
King: no that’s fine
Lovecraft: the degenerate human monster cattle?
King: not that
Lovecraft:
Lovecraft: i-is it the narrator going mad
King:
King: clive help me out here
Barker: naw you’re doing fine steve

King: it’s the cat, howard
Lovecraft:
King: it’s just not
King: it’s just not kosher anymore
Lovecraft:
Lovecraft: [sweats]
King: I’m sorry that was a bad choice of words

King: look howard maybe just tell another story
Oates: just change the cat’s name
King: well I mean I don’t necessarily think it’s right to meddle with the ori-
Oates: just change the cat’s name
Oates: who gives a shit

Poe: well joyce steve’s right, there’s a lot to consider here
Oates: just change the name
Oates: who cares
Oates: who cares about anything
Oates: joyce “wild card” oates strikes again!!!

Poe: is it right to change a piece of art to make it more palatable for modern sensibilities? Do we not then run the risk of whitewashing the past

Barker: wow edgar interesting take
Barker: hey I got a question for you about the gold bug
Poe: we’re
Poe: really not talking about me right now

Oates: just change the cat’s name
King: look carol, we’ve got other hot takes to record today
JK Rowling: [rushing in] Alright you poindextersss letsss get this right

Rowling: One. Hello children, I'm JK Rowling. Two. New Zealand is the worst country in the world. Three. Delete the transss, indigenousss and AIDsss memorial chevronsss from the pride f*g, I mean flag. Four. Transsss blood issss poissson.
JK Rowling: Bada bing, bada boom. I'm done. Learn from the professionalsss, kid. [leaves]