Midnight Pals: Rowling in the Morning

Megan Phelps-Roper: hey you’re listening to the witch trials of jk rowling, W KZFM in the morning with Megan Phelps-Roper and the weasel [air horn sound effect]
Phelps-Roper: we are here with the main boss lady herself, Jk R-r-r-rowling!
Rowling: good to be here

Phelps-Roper: now its time for our 10 am challenge [‘Oh Yeah’ plays]
Phelps-Roper: JK Rowling, will you
Phelps-Roper: live
Phelps-Roper: on air
Phelps-Roper: eat a bug?
Rowling:
Rowling: wave it around ssso it looks like it’s alive

Rowling: hey weren’t you in the westboro Baptist church
Phelps-Roper: oh yeah haha everyone remembers that
Phelps-Roper: yeah, picketing funerals, yelling slurs at grieving parents
Phelps-Roper: those were good times
Phelps-Roper: but I’m really concentrating more on self-care these days

Phelps-Roper: yeah I know everyone likes to worry about all those gays and jews I used to harass
Phelps-Roper: but their pain was necessary for my journey of discovery
Phelps-Roper: the important thing
Phelps-Roper: is that I am SUCH a good person now
Rowling: yessss of courssse

Rowling: look a lot of people have been ssssaying to cancel harry potter
Rowling: and I jussst think that we should consssider the other perspective
Rowling: what about
Rowling: inssstead of cancelling harry potter
Rowling: you just continued to give large amounts of money to me, its creator?
Phelps-Roper: wow, never thought of it that way before!
Rowling: I ssssay thisss as a disinterested third party, of course

Rowling: people keep asking
Rowling: ‘jk rowling, why don’t you condemn thesssse nazisss who keep showing up at your ralliesss’
Rowling: I’m jussst like wow
Rowling: I guess I’m just not close-minded like some people
Phelps-Roper: wow wow good point

Rowling: look, it’s not for me to judge other people
Rowling: that’sss for a special wizengamot-appointed tribunal with special genital measuring calipers
Rowling: we’re going to have the Kriegsloks leave from platform 5 ¾
Rowling: honestly I think you’re going to find this whole genocide we’re planning just really charming

Phelps-Roper: how do you respond to allegations that you’re allied with nazis?
Rowling: [chuckling] oh megan I’d be lying if I said we weren’t allied with nazis!
Phelps-Roper:
Phelps-Roper: well, touche