unedited sneak peek - LRPD part 14

see recent post about why this has completely changed from the prior sneak peek

Married.

You’re married.

That’s all you can think as you stare at yourself in the mirror, scrub cap tied tight across your forehead.

Married.

You thought the ring would be so heavy, like a ball and chain, an anchor to the sea floor trying to drag you down, but after only a few days of wearing it, its weight feels natural. Like it’s been there all along.

“Hey, you good?” Key pops her head into the bathroom, peeking around the corner with a concerned frown.

“Yeah, I’m good. Sorry.” She’s seen the ring and said nothing, choosing to let you straddle the line of telling everyone, or keeping it to yourself. The thing is there are too many layers, too many lies to make up to try to explain it all. And that’s if you only confirmed you were married. It’d be a whole new puzzle trying to craft a story to explain being married to Simon.

Simon.

You’ve started calling him that in your head now, subconscious immediately jumping to his first name instead of using the formal title.

You don’t know how to feel about that. About any of it. About the way he kissed you, tender, soft, and strong at the same time, an unbreakable force holding you down. You didn’t fight him, you didn’t pull away, you just got lost. You melted into it, into him, you let yourself be taken away.

You’ll wear my ring.

You know now there’s been a game going on, one you’ve been a part of this whole time with no idea.

You just don’t know what the end goal is.

You’re not circulating today. You’re babysitting.

Standing at the back with a group of four nursing students, you’re quietly pointing things out to them as the case begins, narrating, teaching to the best of your ability. You begged Key to switch with you, but she knows the rules as well as you do. No swaps.

“What’s he like?” One of the girls whispers, and you silently pray she’s not being too loud.

“Very good. The best.” Blue eyes flick and pierce yours, corners crinkling above his mask. Your heart pounds, and you look to the floor, mouth twisting with a small smile of your own, one you’re unable to stop.

That smile, the secret, the ring, it’s all yours.

And the way that makes you feel… is wrong. It turns your stomach over and disintegrates it into butterflies. You’re fighting a losing battle against yourself, two sides of a wall trying to climb over to one another. Your entire world has been flipped upside down, your walls cracked and crumbled, your control pulled away from you and into his hands.

You failed.

You were supposed to be strong for Riley. You were supposed to uphold your promises and take care of her, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t hang on tight enough, you could keep everything under control. You needed someone to swoop in and help you, like you’re a damsel in distress.

You let yourself break. You let him break you.

When you look up, Simon is still watching you, and his expression changes, brows knitting together under his cap. Briefly, there’s concern, confusion, and then it hardens to stone, and you force your eyes away.