After AnimeCon 2: Deus Ex-Girlfriend Machina

  Giddiness and concern sloshed against one another in opposition as Emily took Kelly by the hand and they followed Michael and Brian up towards the house. Emily felt almost uninhibited at the thrill of being back here to a bonfire with Brian finally, of reuniting with their local gang here. But also, she needed to be more careful with how she presented herself. It was too easy to fall back into the familiar back and forth bickering with these losers on the periphery of their friend group which she didn’t particularly get along with, but Emily was discovering that Kelly had very little tolerance for banter when it came off as demeaning to Emily.

    Which—I dunno, Emily took a moment to relish the feel of Kelly’s hand in hers. I’m surprised, but also kind of touched? Kelly is naturally good with words, arguments—hell, she absolutely DESTROYED Chloe back there at AnimeCon. So, I guess I figured this wouldn’t bother her? Or, that this would be her thing, she’d feel more in her element. Instead, turns out this confrontation kind of gets under her skin? Which I did not expect. She has like, no patience for anyone belittling me.

    Emily also had to mind herself a bit more around Brian—Brian wasn’t like her and the others. While Brian could come up with playful comebacks, he had hard lines he would not cross when it came to making digs at another person. Brian would tease or smack talk but only in moderation, and when things got more heated, he would rather shrug and disengage than stoop to the level of personal attacks or insults. That sort of viciousness and downright cruelty had always repelled him, and Emily was sure it was either his parents or Chloe or both always being eager to heap on abuse that really turned him off of that prospect.

    I guess that’s one of the ways I always fit in better with the group than him, Emily thought with a bitter smile. Michael, Mark, Will—even Becky, each of us can cross the line or go too far with what we say and have to do the awkward makeup apology thing later. I myself lose my temper before I even realize. Brian does not. And although that made him seem like he was becoming a doormat with Chloe… it made him into the friend each of us trust the most, here. It’s like each of us have always treated each other like just friends, but to Brian, we’ve always been his family.

    “Oh man, Will is gonna lose it,” Michael guffawed, stealing yet another glance back at Emily and Kelly. “Holy shit. Like—Emily, I told him you had a girlfriend and that she was fucking hot, but goddamn. Uhh, no offense?”

    “None taken!” Emily boasted, pulling their clasped hands up so that she could give Kelly’s knuckles a kiss. “She’s absolutely unreal. But, like—hey, so is Brian, right?

    “Don’t go around complimenting dudes in front of your girl!” Michael laughed. “Damn, Emmie…”

    “No, she’s right,” Kelly agreed with a smile. “Tonight, Brian looks… scrumptious.”

    “Hah! Nice,” Michael punched Brian’s shoulder. “You hear that, bro? You’re ‘bout to get scrumped. You finally show up again, and you’re gettin’ all the couples antsy and jealous an’ shit.”

    “Oh, I’m not jealous,” Kelly remarked in a throaty purr. “Brian looks good. Never said Emily and I were completely… vegetarian. What do you think, Em? We’ve never had a threesome…”

    Emily couldn’t help but giggle at that, and she ducked her head in close to Kelly so that she could whisper in a voice too low for the others to hear.

    “I mean—HAVEN’T we had a threesome?! I’m pretty sure that umm—

    “We have NOT,” Kelly whispered back. “With Stephie, we always made four.”

    “Oh shit, you’re right!” Emily realized with a laugh, returning to normal volume. “My math uhh, my math wasn’t mathin’. Damn. No, you’re right.”

    “You hearin’ this?!” Michael picked up on only the tail end of what they said but still slung an arm around Brian like he was a proud father. “You needta like, sit with them tonight. Show that you’re like, back on the menu. That you’re on the menu and that people’re hungry. You get me, son?”

    “Duh, Brian can sit with me,” Mary exclaimed from behind. “Doofus. Don’t push him into the lesbo corner—what good’s gonna come from that?”

    “She did say that they’re not ‘vegetarian’…” Katie muttered under her breath.

    “I don’t think that means what you think it means?” Dottie sounded unsure. “Or, wait. Does it?”

    “Doesn’t it?” Katie sounded confused. “Dottie…”

    The ranch house here was a large, aging monstrosity that had once upon a time been a little two-story starter home. In the 1950s it arrived as a pile of lumber and pre-packed materials to be assembled by Michael’s grandparents—the first side room extension was added decades later, followed by a front porch, and then as years went by the porch was covered and insulated and an inner wall knocked down to make it part of a larger living room. At which point another porch was built as an outer layer, this time wrapping around the front and both sides. When the two-car garage structure was put up next to the house, it featured an attic space large enough to furnish into another room—which they then connected to the existing upstairs hallway rather than putting in a second set of stairs in the garage.

    None of the redesigns of the blueprint were professional—all of these enthusiastic modifications were because Michael’s parents and uncles treated the renovation projects as a hobby, and this meant a lot of oddities. The second story always had leaks, which were often patched up with a seal sheet and tacked patch of plywood until someone had the time for a more permanent fix. Sometimes the electrical wiring and plumbing was mounted along the walls in antique brass fixtures, rather than concealed in the wall cavities. There was a large stone step to remember and a difference in elevation when going from the kitchen to the living room—because that used to be the front stoop of the house. One side of the living room and the wrap-around porch both featured a thick row of rustic timber supports, which allowed the hallway extension upstairs to connect to the garage’s second floor.

    Strange and mysterious, but full of charm? Emily watched Kelly looking the place over in confusion.

    As their group stepped up onto one side of the wrap around porch, they passed a pair of bench swings that were fixed to the ceiling, empty save for a pair of throw pillows and a dusty blanket. Aunt Mattie loved to decorate the outer area here with wicker baskets, and Tanya had always worked to fill the baskets with perennials, which meant wilted petals were scattered liberally across the floorboards, watering cans were here and there, and stacks of flower pots were strewn about along this span of the porch.The slope of the old original roof still drained water into its original gutter, which now dropped into a brass pipe which extended across the living room ceiling and out to stone fountain feature on the edge of the porch. Whenever it rained, a trio of cherubim spouts poured pitchers of water into a decorative basin, which then flowed as a waterfall off to a gravel gutter choked with weeds beside the porch.

    Although Emily could tell Kelly was curious, it was clear from the firelight ahead that the bonfire and several more people were already way out back in the field behind the house. The group of seven ambled together across the length of the porch as they chatted, and then they went down the steps on the other side without pausing much to look around. Emily did want to show Kelly the place, because Aunt Mattie’s was so interesting and neat, but she felt that the honor of giving a grand tour should fall on Michael and Tanya, as this was technically their place, right now. The grass was high back here and there wasn’t much light to see by, but a well-trodden foot path formed a long trail from the back of the house to the clearing where the fire pit was, and it had always been pretty easy to follow.

    “No, no—listen, guys,” Michael said, lowering his voice. “You don’t even know. Chloe is here, tonight. She pulled up with Mono, and she’s gonna be—”

    “Mono?” Kelly asked.

    “Monique, Monique,” Brian explained, hefting the cooler in his hand. “She pulled up with Monique, it’s not like she contracted mono!”

    “I mean…” Emily teased. “With her, you never know?”

    “—Guys!” Michael bulled on. “Chloe’s gonna be givin’ Brian stinkeye all night. Makin’ petty-ass stabs at him an’ shit, doin’ the whole evil ex thing. So like, we’ve got it all worked out so that Brian’ll have bitches all over him tonight. Hell, Becky got her hair done. And crammed her big fat gut into a girdle. Mark roped in Mary, and—”

    “Excuse me, ‘roped in,’ hello?” Mary scoffed. “I didn’t come here because Brian’s single—I mean, not just because he’s single? I literally come out to bonfires here all the time. I’ve been here before lots. And, ‘bitches?!’ Um, excuse me?!”

    “I mean…” Emily said again.

    “Ehh, you come out some of the time,” Michael said. “But still like, you get it? We’re all tryin’ to set Brian up a little better, show some fuggin’ support. And Mary, it’s Mark, hell, he don’t even know any other girls but you. Even Tanya rung up one of her coworkers and was like, ‘hey come out tonight, there’s this guy I want to set you up with.’ Candace, or something? She’s not here yet, but—”

    “Uhhhhhh—” Brian let out an embarrassed laugh. “I mean, fuck man, I really do appreciate the thought and all, but. Why all of the sudden is it like everyone’s trying to have girls here for me? Getting me back on the horse? I haven’t exactly—”

    “You don’t understand,” Michael said with a somber sigh. “You’re too close to see it. This here, it’s the great schism of our age. It’s bigger than just you, s’downright geopolitical. Like, back when Scotty was bringing his girl around all the time, that whole thing with our Dice and Dungeons stuff? Minute those two broke up, that entire side of the friend group broke off and fell into the sea, or something.”

    “Ayhup,” Emily nodded. “The great divide! That’s when our group lost custody of Courtney and James and them. They used to be so cool! Well nope, not anymore. So, now everyone’s gonna be takin’ sides—and if Tom and Mono are here with Chloe? Or, if they brought along any of their dickhead Chloe people? Hipster Mister, or Amy? Hell, Britta? Then, yeah. We gotta show we’ve got your back, bro!”

    “Mm-hmm,” Kelly murmured. “Front, too.”

    “So, a show of support for him?” Dottie laughed. “You guys are really sweet.”

    “Hells yeah,” Michael said. “Chloe’s gonna have to sit there and seethe, ‘cause Brian? He’ll be swimmin’ in pussy, tonight.”

    “Ew?” Katie huffed. “Can we—”

    “Drowning in pussy,” Kelly drawled in agreement with Michael.

    “Can we not?!” Katie groaned. “That whole macho—”

    “I mean, would you date Brian?” Emily turned and glared over her shoulder at her sister. “Like, be serious. Would you?”

    “What?” Katie looked like she wanted to scoff and deny it, but was unable to. “I mean I wouldn’t not date him? He’s cool? I’ve never had any problems with him?”

    “Thanks?” Brian said.

    “But, that’s dating him,” Katie reiterated. “Going out? Just, not the whole hookup or sex or stupid player thing you guys’re tryin’ to—”

    “Then shush!” Emily exclaimed, rolling her eyes in disbelief. “You’re just complaining to hear yourself complain. Let a dude get his friggin’ dick wet, damn.”

    “I’d uh—hah, I’d go out with Brian?” Mary giggled, her sentence faltering for a moment because she’d started to speak before fully processing Emily’s last line. “Like yeah, date him. So okay, we’ve had our differences or whatever, but he’s actually super nice? Brian, for real you’re a pretty great guy. I uh—hey and for the record, I never liked Chloe. She was always such a bitch.”

    “Thank you?” Brian chuckled. “I think?”

    “I do think he deserved way better than Chloe,” Katie admitted. “She was all feminist.”

    “Wait, are we not?” Dottie let out an uneasy laugh. “Feminist? Equal rights?”

    “No, I mean like—the bad kind,” Katie said. “Like, the man-hating ones. Chloe.”

    “You guys are over-exaggerating,” Brian said. “She’s not that bad…”

    “Uh, yes she was?” Emily snorted. “She literally—”

    “Bro, bro, hey,” Michael stopped Brian. “You’re over her, right? Chloe? Or, uhhh…”

    “No, no,” Brian said. “I’m just saying—yeah, we broke up, but that doesn’t mean we hate each other, or like need you guys to take sides and make a stand or anything. It’s been a whole month already, right? It’s not all that dramatic?”

    “You don’t still like her, do you?” Mary demanded, her features scrunching up in disgust. “I mean, come on.”

    “Dang,” Emily shook her head in faux dismay. “Never would have thought. Chloe got that gorilla grip pussy, for real.”

    “Emily!” Katie gave Emily’s shoulder a shove. “Oh my God. Don’t even.”

    “I mean…” Kelly grinned, using Emily’s tease from earlier. “Hey, you never know?”

    “Oh, fuck,” Michael swore, looking alarmed. “He is, Brian’s still hung up on his ex! Mary, Emily—somebody get some fresh tiddies pressed up ‘gainst this boi, STAT. Brian needs like, some rebound therapy or somethin.’ Shock therapy. To get his head clear.”

    “I’m sure we can find some volunteers?” Kelly said in a suggestive tone.

    “I’m not—” Brian tried to protest.

    “Uhh, Emily has a girlfriend,” Katie interjected, pushing past Emily and Kelly so that she could walk up next to Brian. “But, not me, hehe! I’m totally single?”

    “Don’t listen to them,” Mary said, also stepping forward and slipping her arm through Brian’s on the other side. “I never liked Chloe, so if there’s a shot at making her jealous or pissing her off? Hey, I’ve got you covered.”

    “We’ve got you covered,” Katie said, taking Brian’s opposite arm. 

    Holy shit, Emily couldn’t hide her grin. Like, even back then I was A LITTLE worried about other girls swooping in on Brian the second he was single. But, damn. I thought it’d just be Becky I had to look out for, not MARY. Not friggin’ KATIE.”

    “I… yeah, I don’t think Chloe will be trying to start anything tonight,” Kelly said with confidence. “Not a chance.”

    “Oh yeah?” Michael arched an eyebrow back at them. “I dunno ‘bout that. Check it out.”

    Just ahead of them—blocking off the entrance to the clearing ahead and backlit by its bonfire—a familiar figure was standing with her arms crossed.

    Christine’s choice of attire wasn’t meant for a chilly evening—in fact, she was dressed as if heading to the gym to take thirst trap photos for her socials. Light-blue sportswear leggings clung to her long legs like a second skin, featuring a sensuous wriggling line pattern of mostly see-through mesh along the outside. A simple gray sports bra bared both Christine’s trim midsection at the bottom as well as quite a bit of Christine’s chest with a generous neckline. A black zip-up athletic jacket was worn over the ensemble as if an afterthought given the temperature out here after the sun went down, but it was not only worn open—she had it partway off her shoulders.

    Crazy seeing ‘Chloe’ showing off that much, Emily couldn’t help but do a double-take. Back before, she was the type to tell people showing cleavage was trashy, or something. I mean her tatas aren’t exactly on FLAGRANT DISPLAY or anything, but it’s super weird seeing her put out any of them out there at all. I mean hey, they’re not bad, though? She’s got nothin’ on Kelly, but they seem nice enough. Certainly bigger than mine?

    Most surprising of all, Christine wore a beanie with a luxury-branded logo, beneath with carefully-styled locks of errant BROWN hair framed her face. Not seeing tresses of silver actually almost made Emily stumble as the realization. Dread seized up her insides, and that worry wormed through her as Emily’s attention bore down on Christine with wide eyes.

    Is the magic silver fucking GONE somehow?! Has Christine genuinely relapsed into Chloe?!

    But, the followup moment of intense scrutiny made her realize the locks were too straight and thin, almost wispy. Christine’s actual hair, whether back before when it was brown, or later when it became silver, was much thicker and had more volume. The bangs would be a bit longer, and the rest would have had a tendency to curl into that stylish sexy tangle which Chloe would then wear over one shoulder.

    Clever bitch, Emily looked the girl up and down and finally began to relax. Must have scrounged up a wig over at Monique’s place. 

    The getup Christine had chosen tonight was sexy, but not in the usual Chloe way they were all used to, here. This seemed like she was trying to marry the prim and proper Old Chloe who presented herself in a fashionable but reserved way with the much more provocative Miss Anne Dree, the Nibblr account alter-ego that screamed for attention. But that side of her, until now, had been kept hidden from these friends. Emily supposed it would be easy for everyone to chalk up the slutting it up a bit as some conscious post-breakup attempt to bother Brian, or make a statement about what he was now missing out on.

    “Oh, wow,” Mary muttered in subdued surprise at the sight.

    The whole group walking up had paused a bit at seeing Christine, because she cut an intimidating figure—but to their credit, although Mary and Katie’s confidence did seem to waver, neither of them let go of Brian’s arms or distanced themselves from him. They did seem to shrink back a bit and go quiet at the prospects of a verbal confrontation with Brian’s ex, but at least they didn’t just immediately let out nervous laughs and abandon him like Emily would have thought.

    “Hey, Brian,” Christine greeted with a flat stare.

    “Chloe,” Brian acknowledged her with a small nod.

    Although their approach had slowed, Emily was surprised when Kelly tugged her forward, and all of the sudden the two of them were standing as a shield between Christine and Brian.

    “You’re Chloe—Brian’s ex-girlfriend,” Kelly’s tone was a statement rather than a question. “We’re not going to have any problems, are we. We’re all gonna get along great and have an amazing night, together. Yeah?”

    Christine visibly faltered, as if not knowing how to react to how blunt Kelly was being. So, the slender young woman seemed to stall for time—looking Kelly up and down as if in search of weakness, eyes flashing over to observe the hand Kelly held with Emily. The air here would have been choked with tension because by all appearances ‘Chloe’ would not let someone talk to her that way… but to Emily, it seemed as though Christine was rapidly recalculating how much of an act she should put on for everyone.

    Hell, I don’t even know what I’M doing with that, tonight, Emily bit her lip at the dilemma. Want to say I just need to play it casual, be kind of catty with her like I normally would. Pretend she’s Chloe. But, thing is. She’s NOT. Not anymore, and I don’t think I actually want to be a bitch to her if I can help it.

   * * *

    Christine was indeed stuck, or more accurately, broken—the front she was trying to present right now was a shattered mirror face reflecting too many mismatched images. The brown wig she’d discovered in one of her plastic tubs matched her old hair color, but it was a bit too short—it was part of a Card Caster Sayuki cosplay project she had abandoned ages ago. Without her good wig cap to put on beneath—because that had been lost with the Magical Doll Himari stuff back there at AnimeCon— her much longer silver hair was a wadded up mess. Everything was fixed into place with bobby pins, and then crammed beneath the wig in a way that bulged and looked awful.

    So, she just had some of the brown bangs sticking out, while hiding the rest beneath a two-hundred dollar Valenciago beanie that did not match the rest of her outfit at all. Even after dumping out both of her other totes there across the garage floor, there had been nothing appropriate to wear. This wasn’t even a case of her sexier stuff for socials being made for much warmer weather—a ton of her more normal attire was simply missing. She had been gone for a little over a month, and it was clear that Chloe’s trifecta of wonderful ‘friends,’—Monique, Amy, and Britta—had looked through the things stored there and chosen things for themselves to ‘borrow.’

    At least when Monique was helping me get dressed, she had the decency to at least go back into her room and bring my VALENCIAGO hat back out, Christine thought. I just. I feel like SUCH A JOKE. Who am I supposed to be? Who is CHLOE supposed to be? Bits of old cosplay. Branded stuff that doesn’t match. My flirty gym getup that was supposed to be STRICTLY for farming clicks, and not for Brian’s friends to see. My only consolation? That my nice comfy shoes were still waiting for me there. The ones lost at AnimeCon were just a random pair of flats, and I guess none of my Chloe ‘friends’ share my shoe-size.

    A few seconds had passed, but Christine really did not know at all how to rebuke Kelly. Certainly not as if she were Chloe. Chloe would have immediately seized on the chance to slut-shame Kelly for the outrageous white halter top that was straining to contain those admittedly magnificent breasts. However, Chloe would have been properly put together to launch into that kind of tirade without inviting obvious reprisals. With what she herself was wearing tonight, she didn’t really have a leg to stand on if she began trying to dress Kelly down, and she knew it.

    There were other avenues of attack, but they weren’t good ones. Kelly’s words buttoned her up into a corner from the get-go, unless Christine was willing to admit she was simply there tonight to give Brian grief. What made everything even more complicated was the fact that Christine didn’t even want to do the narcissist Chloe thing of criticizing everyone and squabbling with everyone for control of every conversation. She found herself wishing that the magic charm makeover had completely turned her into someone else, someone without all of this social baggage, so that she could have a fresh start with the local friends here.

    After all, Emily looked incredibly cute tonight, and even in the low light, Brian’s statuesque upper body looked like it was carved and chiseled into place. Of the teenage girls hanging on Brian’s arms, Christine only recognized Mary. She wasn’t sure who the others were or why they were here—in the less than an hour since parting ways with them Brian had somehow attracted an entire peanut gallery of younger women. Kelly completely stole the show—the girl wearing white wasn’t just sexy tonight, she was downright glamorous, and rather than the dusty old Chloe insane jealousy that would morph into something vindictive and cruel, Christine simply felt a silvery sheen of raw, animal attraction to the girl.

    Because, she’s FUCKING HOT, Christine scrambled to think of something—anything—to say, and still found herself empty-headed. She has like, STAR POWER? Somehow. She’s so bright with confidence that her red spills out into Brian and Emily, too. Makes them feel more assertive or self-assured or—

    * * *

    Seeing that Christine was for whatever reason stunned and speechless, Kelly did the only thing she could do—she followed her instincts. A step forward closed the distance between them, and then her free hand found its way up to Christine’s cheek, and then Kelly was kissing her. The girl’s lips were soft and cool and Kelly parted them with ease in a mouthing nibble motion, relishing the breathless surprise and the look of absolute shock painted across Christine’s features. Those eerie red vampire eyes of hers were so beautiful and vivid up close, and Kelly could likewise see her own shock of red hair reflected within them, but it was more than that, it was meteor meeting mirror in a dazzle of colors—and for the briefest of seconds, Christine was kissing her back before Kelly finally pulled away.

    We need you to wake up, Princess. This night’s JUST getting started…

    “Holy shit—” Michael sputtered.

    “Uhhh?!” Katie and one of the other teens gasped.

    “Kelly—” Brian sighed. 

    “Did she just—?!” Michael’s voice was still rising.

    “Chill, guys, chill!” Emily’s voice cut through the rest. “That’s uh, yeah that’s just Kelly. Always best to just establish dominance right off the bat, y’know?!”

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