RE: Trailer Trash, 62 pt 2

    “Hey, Tabby,” Gary’s loud friend from the bus called. “Wait up a minute.”

    Fifth period Biology class had basically concluded, and now all of the students were either talking quietly or staring off out the row of windows, disassociating as they waited for the bell to release them to head to sixth period. Gary’s friend from the bus had rounded the aisle of desks and walked over towards where Tabitha sat, and Tabitha was thrown into a panic as she mentally scrambled through names to try to fit his into place again. She knew his name—she’d learned it during roll call on Monday and filed it away for later recollection.

    Although now it was recollection time, and his name had been misfiled.

    Drake? Dave? David?! No, I think that was the one at my actual bus stop, Tabitha fought off a blush of embarrassment as she looked up at the guy. Joseph? Jake? John? I… I really don’t remember, do I? DAMMIT.

    Monday after all felt like ages ago after everything that had happened since then, and although Gary was the key person to remember on their bus, Tabitha had let memory of everyone else there get a little fuzzy. In the split second of available time remaining to her before her lagging response turned this into a cherished awkward moment, Tabitha quickly appelled each of her best guess names to him and tried them out until she decided on the one that probably felt like it fit the most.

    “Jake, right?” Tabitha tapped a finger towards Gary’s friend.

    “Jacob,” Jacob corrected her with a deadpan expression.

    Oh wow, that was super close! Tabitha couldn’t help but smile at the boy. In fact—I can totally play that off as intentional! ‘Jake’ is like a nickname for ‘Jacob.’ It works. I can make it work.

    “So, what’s up?” Tabitha shifted in her seat towards him, feeling pleased with herself.

    “Do you know Matt?” Jacob asked. “Matthew Haynes.”

    There’s THAT name again, Tabitha thought to herself, puzzled. I feel like now I’m hearing about this guy ten times a day practically, yet I have NO clue who he is or a face to put with that name, or anything. I think he’s turning into like a Keyser Söze sort of thing for me—like does this mythical Matt Haynes REALLY exist, or is he just a Springton High urban legend?!

    “I’ve heard of him,” Tabitha remarked, trying to play it cool.

    “Well yeah,” Jacob said. “So—what do you think of him?”

    “I think he’s very mysterious?” Tabitha said, trying to not let a wince blemish the smile she had put on. “I hear about him a lot, but I don’t think he’s ever properly introduced himself to me.”

    “What?” Jacob gave her a look of confusion. “Didn’t you two have uh, English or something together last semester? Mrs. Albertson?”

    “Uhh—” Tabitha again furiously tried to remember all of her impressions of people from that class.

    Besides Mrs. Albertson herself, who was a rather friendly older woman with a very sarcastic sense of humor that Tabitha adored—not a single one of her classmates from there jumped to mind. That had been one of her favorite classes, and when she was there she’d pretty much been totally absorbed in what she was doing; essays, short story projects, absolutely obliterating vocab worksheets and bullying even the supposedly ‘difficult’ writing assignments into submission. It was one of the rare topics where her future knowledge and even moreso her future experience gave her an absolute advantage, one of the classes where Tabitha legitimately felt like some kind of special genius. It had been so much fun.

    “Maybe?” Tabitha felt her face going red but she braced her casual smile into place so that it wouldn’t waver even with how embarrassed she was growing. “I was, uh, I mean in that class I’d kinda get into the zone, you know? That was one of my favorites.”

    “Hah, alright, alright,” Jacob gave a knowing smirk at seeing her blush, seeming to understand the situation perfectly. “Yeah—I get it. Hah...”

    “Okay?” Tabitha quirked her head at him.

    She was saved by the bell then, and as the resounding bmmm bmmm bmmm tones echoed throughout the wall-mounted intercom all of the students rose up out of their seats and made for the door. Tabitha slung her denim bookbag up across one shoulder and stood as well, letting some of the others in her row file out ahead of her before following. The weird sense of bafflement that had plagued her throughout that entire short conversation with Jake was slowly twisting into a pit of unease as she considered the ways she might have been misunderstood.

    Oh, no. No no no no, Tabitha felt alarm bells go off. I said Matt was mysterious—indicating INTEREST. I said the class we shared was my favorite, which can be misconstrued as me saying I liked that class because HE WAS IN IT. And. And yeah. And I’m pretty sure my face is BEET RED right now, because, because I WAS EMBARRASSED! Not because I’m INTO HIM, but because it’s embarrassing that I pretty much don’t remember ANY of the other kids from that course! I remember more ASSIGNMENT HEADINGS than I do people, from back then! What have… what have I done?!!

    In a fluster Tabitha started forward, darting past some of the people walking ahead of her and rushing out of the classroom and towards where everyone from the many classes was spilling out into the hall. Jake was way off towards her left heading away from her, and though that was not the direction she needed to go to get to her next class over by the back quad, Tabitha dashed over his way, weaving around the different teenagers as best as she could.

    “Jake! Jake,” Tabitha called, persisting until he noticed her and turned around.

    “Jacob,” Jacob rolled his eyes. 

    “That’s what I said,” Tabitha gave him a breathless laugh. “Listen, Jake—hey uh, can you actually not say anything? Seriously. About what we just talked about. Matt Haynes. Can you just sorta not tell him any of that? It’s, ah, embarrassing.”

    “Uhh?” Jacob gave her a baffled smile. “Yeah, sure? Secret’s safe with me, dawg. Pfft—”

    “Thanks, Jake,” Tabitha held up her hand for an awkward fist bump. “Homie.”

    People were trying to get by as they lingered there standing in the hall, and some other guy jostled Tabitha’s shoulder, turning their fist bump into an a cringeworthy moment where instead their closed hands almost smacked knuckles against one another but more like they were just brushing the cuffs of each other’s jackets.

    “Cool, uh—catch you later?” Tabitha forced a smile, still furiously blushing. “On the bus.”

    She turned and fled back the other way, mortified, and it took her another minute to remember that she had Art Club today after school. She would not, in fact, catch him later on the bus. Shoving all of these awful realizations deep down inside herself and repressing them as much as humanly possible, Tabitha mumbled the lyrics to Get What You Give under her breath to herself as if it were a buddhist chant which could ward off embarrassment.

    Well, at least I caught him just in time and absolutely cleared THAT whole misunderstanding up, Tabitha lied to herself. Yeah. Yeah. But, did I just try to say ‘homie?’ Oh my god. That was the most ‘how do you do, fellow kids’ thing I think I’ve ever said. By a country mile. Ugghhh—! It’s because he said ‘dawg,’ and like—I immediately had to reply in that same vein, and absolutely nothing else came to mind! UGGGHHH!

    At this point she also couldn’t help but wonder just who Matt Haynes really was. Elena said she vaguely remembered him from Laurel middle, but Tabitha frankly did not remember anyone from back then aside from Elena and Carrie. Jake bringing him up seemed to indicate that this Matt Haynes was part of the circle of basketball kids, like Gary, the ones who congregated at the high school basketball court before classes started and during lunch.

    Wait a minute, Tabitha thought to herself as she tried to pick her way along the familiar route to the back quad in a hurry. Where even ARE the basketball courts, here? I don’t think I’ve ever even been to them. In either life.

    Her mental map of the school had plenty of gray areas where she was pretty foggy on where stuff was, because she didn’t ever have cause to explore in those directions. In fact, to her dismay she realized that she had visited more of Springton High in that dream where she was about to maybe kiss Bobby, than she had in real life! Tabitha was intimately familiar with the library and the lunchroom—both had been her go-to places to sit last lifetime. She was pretty familiar now with the ins and outs of the back quad area, the track and field portion of campus, and the science building she’d just left behind.

    Otherwise… I don’t really step off the beaten path much, do I? Tabitha realized with a wince. Wow. Some NEW LIFE this is, huh? I haven’t even really stepped into the student parking lot, yet. Just gazed at it with longing from afar. I know that’s the big huge hangout spot for upperclassmen. Well, we’ll see how things go. I’m only a freshman. Freshmen basically aren’t supposed to stick their nose into too many cool kids’ areas yet, anyhow.

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/// Short section for now. Into the ugly bit of winter. Typed up like a four paragraph angry rant about the winter bs I'm going through but decided to just delete that and just post for now and focus on getting through things and having better tomorrows. Everyone stay safe and stay warm.