AnimeCon Harem: Book 3 Launch!
Added 2024-05-22 10:30:22 +0000 UTC
Comments
Thank you! The AnimeCon story continues directly into Renfaire Fantasy following the same cast of characters here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/92328752
FortySixtyFour
2024-06-13 12:26:48 +0000 UTCThis was a great ending. The level of improvement in the writing, and quality of editing, from the first book to this one was noticeable and well done. That doesn't even cover how great the characters were written and how well you fleshed everything out. Definitely going to be reading your other works after this. That said, if I could, I'd like to offer some advice. While my major complaints in what I felt were flaws from the first book were largely addressed in the 2nd and 3rd, I do have two things I think could be improved. 1. When trying to convey uncertainty or fear in your dialogue, you go way overboard with all the stuttering, start stop, bouncing about like a metronome, language. The likes, umms, i means ... etc, all combine to make the characters appear like vapid airhead who can't complete a single sentence without falling into "valley girl" speak. Plus, as a reader, it makes it hard to even understand the message being conveyed because of how badly convoluted the dialogue is. Instead of conveying uncertainty, it's just confusing. Just a dab here and there is enough, instead of paragraph after paragraph after paragraph of word salad sentences, would be better, imo. 2. You're a metaphorical genius. The words and descriptors you use are like God tier. It's pretty amazing how well put together some of your internal dialogue is when describing the dreamscape. But. Cause there's always got to be one, right? In some areas you go overboard with it. Where it feels like it becomes a competition to see just how long you can drag out the metaphorical menagerie of goodness. And it becomes detrimental. Where I, the reader want to know what's happening next, but instead I get 3 pages of metaphorical dreamscape internal monologue where I'm not quite sure where we're even at by the time we're back to real life... and we get two paragraphs of that following by 2 more pages of monologue. While i love your skill with words, its damn amazing, truncating it a little sooner to continue the main course would be beneficial I think. Please don't take any of that to mean your writing isn't great. These are nitpicks at best compared to how great everything else is. I look forward to reading more of your stuff. It's truly awesome!
L_S87
2024-06-13 02:34:48 +0000 UTCWonder if you have any idea if audiobooks for books 2 & 3 are coming out and when? I am enjoying the audiobook for # 1.
Martin D Jensen
2024-06-09 08:38:31 +0000 UTCPurchased yesterday, now own whole series. Big thumbs up.
Terry Tremblay
2024-05-24 16:46:34 +0000 UTCBought the whole series. Congratulations for your accomplishment.
Dastauf
2024-05-23 13:49:44 +0000 UTC
