Getting a little dark
Added 2017-05-30 01:54:27 +0000 UTCI'm writing a mother/daughter scene. The mothers are the new students. Obviously they aren't going to just going to fuck their daughters without a fight. But, I can't think of a way of having a semi-realistic situation that convinces the mothers without getting a little dark. I'm concerned that this darkness will turn a lot of people off. What do you think? Here's an excerpt:
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The mothers weren't stupid and openly revolted against this. They refused to touch their own daughters in this manner.
"If you refuse to follow my instructions in my class, you and your daughters will be severely punished."
You see most of the daughters turn around to sit up on their massage table. Their eyes open wide with fear. Sarah pleads, "No, mom. Please! Just do what they say. I don't want to be punished." She jumps off the table and hugs her mom from behind. "Just do what they say."
"Why are you so concerned about this punishment," Sarah's mom asks. "Just what is this punishment anyway?"
"It's different every time," Sarah whispers, "and it's always really bad."
Mrs. Ball says, "Why don't you tell everyone what happened the last time you were punished, Sarah?"
Her eyes stare into the distance as she relives the traumatic experience. "Mrs. Ball had me lay on my back and two students held my legs behind my head. It was difficult to breath." She gulps and says, "Then she whipped me with a belt on my private part over and over and over again."
"Dear god," another mom said, "Is that what you've been putting my baby through?" She grabbed her daughter's head and pinned it to her chest. "I had no idea this was happening! I'm going to report this to the authorities immediately."
"I'm afraid that would just lead to more punishments to you and your daughter," you say. "They are fully aware of what happens at this school and are paid handsomely to look the other way." You can tell from their faces that they believe you. "Now then, I think we should get back to the lesson. What do you say?"