Real talk.
Added 2018-12-04 00:19:19 +0000 UTCFinding it so so difficult lately to get any motivation what so ever when it comes to patreon and modelling/cosplaying.
You guys always say the most supportive things but I honestly can’t help myself from comparing myself to others. I have the smallest amount of patreons out of all the other models I know/follow.
And this is no way me saying I’m not greatful for the few I do have so please nobody even think that. I mean you guys probaby know me quite well now so you know this isn’t that! This is more along the lines of that I’m just not good enough. I’m not a good enough model compared to all the others.
I’m not actually sure what I’m doing wrong? Like, you always say you love my content etc... yet I’m constantly losing patreons all the time. I had 50 at one point and I was SO happy but it lasted just over a month.. then they all left.? It’s so upsetting 😔 I’m trying my absolute best but it’s not enough.
I’m so sorry for this type of post. I just had to share how I felt. I’m so thankful to my little patreon family who have always been here and I believe you genuinely do care about me so thank you so much. I just wish I was hotter, funner and everything else that the other models are.. 😥💔 enough for people to be like “hey.. this is awesome I wanna stick around for more!”
But I just don’t think that’s gonna happen and im slowly giving up on the idea that I’ll ever be enough. Patreon at the moment is my ONLY source of income as I had to give up my part time job due to health reasons.. and now I’m struggling so so bad. I’ve been so proud of myself for all the new shoots I’ve done etc and I’m going to keep trying to do more for you guys.
Again I’m sorry for this I’m just really upset. This is another reason why I want to change so much about myself because I think if I looked better etc then more people would want to join. I’m going to get off to bed now although I probably won’t sleep for hours 😅 my mental health is not helping by dragging me down so much.
Thanks for everything and sorry I’m not better 😭 I feel like giving it all up but I won’t... I gotta keep trying.
goodnight,
Mistyy ❤️
xxx
Comments
Thank you so so much for this guys... for everything you do for me. You seriously keep me going! I think I need to start trying to convince my mind to focus on the few amazing patreons/friends I already have instead of what I don’t have! It’s just super difficult not to compare myself, especially having body dysmorphia 😔 thank you all for the kindest comments, I’ll always be greatful to you all 💖
Mistyy
2018-12-07 00:27:02 +0000 UTCIt's not quantity but quality that counts. You have followers that support you for being the person you are. I know when you're down there is nothing anyone can say to make you feel better about yourself but you truly are beautiful both inside and out. Unfortunately, social media is a quick way for men mostly to get off on seeing pictures of tits and arse without getting to know the person in front of the camera. That is probably why your numbers rise and fall. Once they've had their fill, they cancel their pledge. You need to know that there are people that support you for being you and I for one think you are fantastic. I hope you feel better about yourself soon and can see the wonderful person we see when we interact with you. You are doing a great job and don't let anyone tell you otherwise 😘😍❤
Rik Webb
2018-12-04 09:10:28 +0000 UTC
