The MILF Life of Roxanne Page 3+4

Roxanne's scowl and Jake's sheepish grin start off the couple's newest journey into child rearing - which is apparently what they just 'do' now, I guess. Whatever happened to that college stuff?

Well, it seems that Roma - Roxanne's Mom - was overjoyed at the new little ones crawling around (just don't use the term Grand**). Her still ongoing career as an adult superstar means that most every expense can be dealt with, leaving Rox and Jake with all the time in the world for child care - Roma going so far as floating the idea of "You should totally have more!" obviously, This is a really, really dangerous thing to say to a couple, who have both admitting to having self-control issues...

One set of triplets later - Jake has become a Super Dad, but Roxanne's NOT happy that she is just BIGGER than ever and has yet another closet of clothes become unusable. Best she can do is rely on the sheer elasticity of her old work uniform. Roxanne is no quitter, however! All that pudge takes more than a few off-screen exercise montages to work off, but she pulls it off ... but again, certain areas just refuse to shrink back down. Even borrowing clothes from the Main Mom herself proves to be only a temporary measure, as Roxanne complains about the tightness on a shopping trip to the local Gloria's Secret. During her complaints, Rox doesn't really notice her sister Rachel and mother Roma (and most of the mall crowd) eyeing her new ridiculous figure. While Rachel has always sat in last place in the family, she doesn't particularly like this whole "The Big Get Bigger" thing Roxanne has going on - sorta unfair, right? As for Roma, she genuinely needs a few moments to process exactly how she's not the bustiest woman in a given area - that has not happened before. Like, ever.

However, it's not really a mystery how Rox got her curves - afterwards, Rachel and Roma approach Jake with an offer he can't refuse ... (a threesome).

Now, Roxanne and Jake had a few wild years in college - being best friends with succubi, sex witches, and the boy hunter Andrea meant that she was rather use to Jake having a rather large number of women (and men?) interested in him. Not to mention Roxanne's own adventures of having a large friend group of insanely attractive people (Thanks Maya.) And of course, none of this has really stopped much even after marriage (Thanks Maya) - at the end of the day, Roxanne admits she sorta digs it. But ... her husband knocking up BOTH her sister and mother annoyed her, somewhat - partly because, way down in her thoughts, the phrase "That's Hot" popped up when her Mother bragged about her positive pregnancy test. A few one-sided arguments later, Roxanne and Jake made up. They spent most of that week making up, actually.

Yeah, so - not really a surprise when Roxanne's third pregnancy came up. At this point, traditional exercise is pretty much off the table for Rox and she had acquired a private tailor anyway, so she accepted curves are meant to be rocked. Even the belly Roxanne has battled so hard against. "Rocked by Roxanne" - that was the phrase she mumbled to herself as squeezed herself into a new custom swimsuit. Which of course, was rather tight - for once, not due to bad measurement, but her forgetting to pack her breast pumps. Seems that after three large pregnancies, her chest has been permanently set to 'On.'

Anyways, her annoyance at her spillage is quickly forgotten after meeting up with her family again - seems Rachel and Roma have decided to bow out of the unofficial competition of "Top MILF," and have given the victory to Roxanne. Not that she really seems to want it, or was even aware she was in it. As she barks at them to stop golf clapping whenever she does a particularly intense wobble, Rox automatically holds back Hubby Jake - having suffer a complete short circuit upon seeing Roxanne in a swimsuit after 6-7 years. Rox seems pretty used to her husband's pawing - it's a bit of a game to them at this point - but maybe she doesn't completely grasp the effect she's having on Jake? After the group gets kicked off the beach for indecent behavior and heads back to the hotel, she'll get a feel for just how much Jake likes her outfit. And we all know where that will lead...

(Only one more page to go! After that, I'm trying to decide on a finale pic - something a bit spicy to show Roxanne's ridiculous finale figure off.)