XaiJu
stasisdelirium
stasisdelirium

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Jabberwock Epoch

Amidst the din of outright insanity that seems to have gripped common sense I've been a busy bee to say the least.

There's something oddly poetic that bog roll has become the earmark of humanity's panic.  That figurative alien archaeologists will find us clinging to rolls of the stuff, great wads of it in our gullets, and probably just move on to more sensible lost civilizations.

But moving beyond that, I've had to work longer hours for sure just to get things squared away family-wise.  I will be likely doing a lot of sketching over the foreseeable weeks since, while I'm not ill myself, I'll still be largely staying inside and limiting going out for much save a few necessities now and then.

I've been having the hardest time getting creatively driven in the last little while.   It often happens in extended winters, and we keep getting loads of snow between melts that really feel like they've just drained everything away.  Its not the only reason I'm struggling, but it sure is standing on the sideline waving pom-poms.

I had plans to tentatively start searching for gaming groups again.  Online, of course, but after the wild first couple of months I had this year, I've actually been utterly crushed under by social anxiety.  The the thought of seeking or signing up for a game-night a week has actually been near crippling.  And running a game is equally nightmarish sounding.

I've been very disconnected from the world and its characters.  Trying to write or draw literally anything has been an all out slog.  I'm fortunate enough to have plenty of stuff to paint, so content here won't suffer, it will just be more painted/colour pieces I've done before, but it means sketching really isn't fitting together very well.  When the choir stops singing, its hard to feel inspired to keep squeaking out a tune.

Still, its felt strangely isolating lately.  Hence my thoughts on trying to reach out for social things to do.  But I find that alone is terrifying enough of a prospect to just deal with the quiet instead, and let all this winter-grey blow over.

That said, I'll be sending out the next sketch notice to the next person on the Patron list.  I'm pretty sure this will mean I've given out at least one sketch to every $10 tier person, and will be starting back on the second run through the list next month.  I'm flattered so many folks stuck around and wanted to support for any amount, be it time or money.  It does blow my mind.

Hoping to have some sketchwork to post tomorrow.  I have a couple very rough ideas sitting there, its just a matter of getting the creative engine fired up enough to get them to a post-able state.  I've nearly got the first lighting pass on the painting done as well, though that will take longer to get finished given the work involved.

I hope you all stay safe, and healthy.

-T.J. 

Comments

Admittedly I'm in the same boat. I'm largely happy with being alone socially. Not on any misanthropic level or anything, but I like being left to my own devices more often than not. But just having the _choice_ of being able to visit, or go and sit in a cafe and have a coffee is something I miss. I've mostly been playing a few single player games to pass the time though. I'd forgotten how good Witcher 3 really was o.o

Tim J.

Somehow, even for someone who tends to thrive on social avoidance, being isolated for an extended period is gnawing at me in some unexpected ways. I'm with you -- distractions are very welcome, as long as they're at least somewhat quality distractions. I'm a bit gun-shy about getting into long-format rpgs based on past experience, but surely there's a good game I can treat myself to. Stay safe out there.

Kalahari

I admit I'm not familiar with the concept. Is it a play-by-post sort of deal? I'd be willing to give it a look, though can't promise to be able to participate much.

Tim J.

I had a fairly bad experience a little while back with a group I was trying to run online. One player was almost a cliche 'neckbeard' type. It was astounding how he had every awful quality including eyerolling at any idea I'd presented, deeply mysogynistic outlooks on both npc's and even one woman that tried to play in the group. It didn't last long after he went into full 'angry nerd' mode but it made me just stop playing entirely for a long while, and still makes me tentative to even try again online. :/ I'm sorry to hear you had a bad first experience witht the game, though. Its one of those things that can just tank any wish to play again even if its not the actual game/rules fault.

Tim J.

I’ve played D&D once...with a less than hospitable group...wish I could try it again for sure

BadgerB0y

I've joined a d&d server on discord recently - it's a consistent world as opposed to adventure of the week. Is that a concept you may have considered?

Sylvian


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