Book 1 Feedback Thread
Added 2025-07-25 15:59:08 +0000 UTCThis thread is for feedback! Were there any scenes or interactions that jarred you while reading, that you think needs improving or reworking? Were there any plot holes or unexplained elements you think deserves expanding upon? Leave any important feedback you want! No promises that it will be addressed, naturally, but I'll for sure read through and see if I agree :)
Comments
I left this feedback on RR, but I just subbed and want to leave it here as well for better visibility: I think the story is great, it's one of my favorite serials already. If your planning on publishing it as an actual book however, I don't know that there has been enough, I don't know, conflict?, progression?, for a full story yet. The main arc has been getting to Meridian, but I'm not sure if that's a satisfying conclusion by itself. It really feels more like the end of Act 1 in a classic three-act story. The protagonist has encountered problems, sure, but there has been no steady progression towards any particular challenge or climax that leaves the reader feeling satisfied. The train scene is cool, but it's a standalone event rather than the conclusion of an arc. Interestingly but perhaps not importantly, the story as written so far flows much more naturally as a "complete story" from Saffra's viewpoint, with a series of building challenges that she can't quite overcome yet, needing help from her mentor each time, culminating in the train ride where she has to hold out against overwhelming odds until her master returns. Add in some tension about the shields getting gradually depleted as she goes to get the cores and that would be a satisfying climax.
Anton
2025-08-12 04:05:12 +0000 UTCOnly complaint is the lengh of chapters ,i understand that the meta is short frequent chapters but personally i find it frustrating id much rather wait a month for a more meaty chapter than one everyday
pokemark17
2025-08-12 01:24:53 +0000 UTCI just binged this story and I am truly impressed. Thank you for writing it. As for feedback, I just hope you never introduce a male love interest for Vivi nor Saffra. Besides that, book one spanned like 2 days so that sort of pacing hopefully won't be the norm moving forward. I've been following some web novels for years but inside the story itself only a few months have progressed and it's honestly incredibly dissonant.
Emyllia
2025-08-09 18:25:42 +0000 UTCSo far, I've been enjoying this story a lot. One thing I do hope you will change is Saffra being unaware of Vivi being who she is (and instead assuming she is a dragon at first and then a royal dragon). The first time, it was funny. The second time, it was okay. But if you repeated it more in the future, it'd get stale quickly.
Reimu
2025-08-07 02:20:01 +0000 UTCThe book as a whole has been really enjoyable. It's one of the rare instances of OP MC done right. If I had to change anything I think condensing the last few chapters after her fight with the maids. It might just be my ADHD but thing feel a little drawn out as book 1 closes.
Jesse
2025-08-06 21:32:05 +0000 UTCReally enjoying the story so far. Book 1 was great and so far book 2 is shaping up to be very interesting. I enjoy the fact that the pacing is measured, as in we're not skipping ahead in time but rather following Vivi throughout the day - of course my only gripe there is that I found this book now, and not 2 years from now so I don't have hundreds of chapters to binge, but that's a good problem to have. I'm excited to see how Vivi adjusts to this new world and finds her place in it. The imposter syndrome she's dealing with seems like something she's going to have to come to terms with sooner rather than later, as "taking the mantle of Vivisari" seems to be fast approaching. But I'm also very curious about the plot laid out so far and can't wait to see where it goes next. Well done!
AcumenTaylor
2025-08-06 18:12:16 +0000 UTCI thoroughly enjoyed book 1. I've made a few comments here and there, so I'm probably repeating myself a bit. A lot of "overpowered protagonist" stories really struggle to be interesting, and often over-rely on the protagonist being clueless about their own power compared to others. Often the protag can also be very arrogant or grating. A few stories that i feel did it really well were one punch man, mashle, i was reincarnted as the 7th prince so i can take my time perfecting my magic ability, villainess level 99, and now this. (please dont judge my anime taste lol)
Andrew Serle
2025-08-02 05:00:42 +0000 UTCThe train thing is the only part that even remotely bothered me and it's not even an issue anymore. I'm frankly in love with what you've written so far.
Joseph (T3mmie)
2025-08-02 02:33:21 +0000 UTC
