Scrapped Port Forward script

Hey all! Ben here with an update as we get kinda close to the big Port Forward update launch next month.

I thought I'd do something a bit different and share one of the scripts I wrote.

It was originally written sometime in 2019 or earlier, but after the whole Jan 6, 2021 thing in the U.S. I felt the theme might give off some weird vibes for folks experiencing it all in a context that it wasn't written in. I didn't want folks thinking I was riffing on those events or themes in any way, so I rewrote all of Port Forward from scratch. It might have been an overreaction but it was no biggie to write something new (plus it got us to take things in a fun new direction with a bunch of minigames!).

That said, I think with the above added context, I can share the original script with you all so it doesn't go totally to waste. I think there are some funny bits in here!

Arrival

[You arrive via hot air balloon, Plunt intercepts you]

Plunt: For too long, the invader tyrant Prince Pimplepomp has subjugated Port Forward! But today we rise up to exile him back to Port Backward!

Plunt: Have you come here to assist us in throwing off the yoke of oppression??

Player: I'm actually just here to turn the Oobnet tower back on...

Plunt: Then you, too, are a victim of the Prince's tyranny! Our Oobnet tower was deactivated when Prince Pimplepomp repurposed it as his own personal mini-castle.

Plunt: You see, a few years ago, the royal family of Port Backward decided they didn't want him stinking up their town anymore, so they expelled him here, to Port Forward.

Plunt: When he got here, he started bossing everyone around and nobody bothered standing up to him, so now we have a monarchy...

Plunt: But... If you help us overthrow him, we can reclaim Port Forward—and the Oobnet tower—for the people!

Player: All right, sure. I've got nothing better to do. How do we overthrow him?

Plunt: With the most powerful political tool at our disposal... A petition!

Plunt: Help me get just another 5 signatures from the townsfolk of Port Forward and we can present the petition to the Prince. He'll have no choice but to abdicate!

Player: I don't see how that will work but ok.

Plunt: Huzzah!

[on return while unfinished]

Plunt: Once we fill the petition, we'll surely have our freedom!

[2nd return while unfinished]

Plunt: Trouble getting those signatures?

Plunt: Port Forwarders are a famously apathetic bunch. You can see how we got into this mess in the first place.

[3rd return while unfinished]

Plunt: The winds of change are blowing our way! There's revolution in the air!

Prudi

Player: Hey, just wondering, do you want overthrow Prince Pimplepomp?

Prudi: That dastardly tyrant Pimplepomp? Of course! He must be stopped at once.

Player: Sounds good. Can you sign this petition to dethrone him, then?

Prudi: Ah, so that's the rub. I'm actually pretty busy, you know?

Player: It will literally take you 2 seconds to just sign this.

Prudi: Tell you what: I was just on my way to dance practice. If you can give my ooblets a lesson instead, I'll be able to save some gummies and have time to sign your thingy.

Player option 1: Okay let's dance

On win: Prudi: Fine, fine. Pretty good lesson. I guess you can have your signature. Independence it is, then!

On lose: Prudi: I don't think we learned anything from that! Come back when you can teach us a thing about dancing and I'll give you your signature.

On return after win: Prudi: I did my part!

Player option 2: Not right now

On return: Prudi: Still want that signature? I'll still trade you it for a dance lesson!

Parfette

Player: Are you looking for independence from Prince Pimplepomp? Will you sign this petition to oust him?

Parfette: Hmm, yes… independence… sounds reasonable…

Parfette: But I’m an unreasonable man! I’ll only sign if you defeat me in a dance off!

Player: Seriously? This is for your independence…

Parfette: I’m not interested in politics beyond idle hand-wringing.

Parfette: Anyway, are we going to dance or what?

Player option 1: Okay let's dance

On win: Parfette: Best of luck to you random petition person. I hope this signature serves you well.

On lose: Parfette: How are you supposed to overthrow a government when you can't even win a dance off? Come back for a rematch when you're ready for political change!

On return after win: Parfette: History rewards those who are a pain in the bumbum.

Player option 2: Not right now

On return: Parfette: Are we going to dance or what? It’s the only way you’ll get that signature out of me!

Plubbard

Player: Would you sign this petition to remove Prince Pimplepomp from power?

Plubbard: Like I told Plunt, I'd love to help... but I make my living by digging through Pimplepomp's trash and reselling it.

Player: Isn't that illegal? And disgusting?

Plubbard: Sure is... Tell you what: If you get me 150 nurnies to resell, I'll have enough to get by without Pimplepomp and I'll sign your petition.

Player option 1: Okay, deal.

On return: Plubbard: Didja get me those 150 nurnies?

Player option 1: Yup!

Plubbard: Wonderful! A deal’s a deal. Here’s my signature for your petition.

Plubbard: I'm through with the trash life... or am I?

Player: Okay.

Player option 2: Not yet

Plubbard: Let me know when you do. I want out of the trash game.

Purgo

Purgo: I’ve seen you going around town bugging everyone for their signatures…

Purgo: So let’s skip the niceties and get down to brass buns— I’ll sign your whatsit if you can beat me in an ooblets dance battle!

Player: It’s actually for your—

Purgo: I don’t care! I’ll sign your birthday card, medical leave form, or even power of attorney without question if you can just satisfy my need to DANCE!

Player: You people are goofed up

Purgo: Goofed up for dance! Are you in or outies?

Player option 1: Fine, let's dance

On win: Purgo: Okay you big belly button burp, you've earned my signature fair and eclair. Have fun on your field trip or whatever it was!

On lose: Purgo: That was entirely unsatisfying and I'm withholding my scrumptious signature until you can put up more of an effort!

On return after win: Purgo: You're the bingo chip belcher who beat me in a dance off!

Player option 2: Not just yet

On return: Purgo: Ready to dance for my signature yet ya big bag o' bingo chips??

Peet

Player: Think you could sign this petition to declare independence from Prince whatshisname?

Peet: Will signing my name trap my soul inside your pen for all eternity? I read somewhere about that being a thing.

Player: I think it's just a normal petition...

Peet: Okay, I'll sign, but just remember that I don't consent to my soul being trapped inside your pen for eternity.

On return: Peet: My tummy kinda hurts. Are you sure you didn't steal my soul?

Boss

[If you try to go in door of Oobnet tower before getting all signatures]

UI: You haven't got all the signatures for the petition yet!

[After getting all the signatures, Plunt intercepts you]

Plunt: Did you get all the signatures?

Player: I guess so!

Plunt: Incredible! All we need to do now is march down to the Prince's castle and present the petition to earn our freedom!

Plunt: Whenever you're ready, we can commence this historic act!

[Player now is free to do anything, including going back home. Plunt follows player while in Port Forward (although maybe not into shops)]

[On interacting with Plunt as he follows you]

Plunt: We can head over to the Port Forward oobnet tower to confront Pimplepomp whenever you're ready!

[On interacting with the Oobnet tower door]

Plunt: Listen here, Pimplepomp! We've got a petition demanding you abdicate your rule over Port Forward. It's all over!

Pimplepomp: What's all this? Let me see.

Pimplepomp: Hmm... Yep. This is meaningless. Why would you think I'd care about a petition?

Plunt: I mean... It's the only political tool we have... How else are we supposed to enact political change?

Pimplepomp: You should maybe try being born into royalty. That's always worked for me.

Pimplepomp: What's funny is that I was actually just planning on leaving Port Forward! The yacht racing scene here is atrocious, you see.

Pimplepomp: But now that you proles have stepped out of line and demanded I leave, I feel it's my duty to obstruct you.

Pimplepomp: Dashing the hopes of the unwashed masses is the finest luxury the nobility can enjoy.

Pimplepomp: But I'm also sporting, so how about... I leave this backwater barge as intended, but only if you can find a champion who will beat me in an ooblet dance off?

Player: I should have guessed it would come down to this.

Plunt: Goshzooky! [PLAYERNAME], do you think you could beat him for us?? The fate of Port Forward is on your shoulders!

Player option 1: Let's do it

On win: Pimplepomp: Oh, did I lose? I wasn't paying attention. My ooblets probably took pity on you.

Pimplepomp: But anyway, you can have your independence I suppose. I'm off to my megachalet where I can be free from the myriad of questionable smells around here.

Pimplepomp: I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding someone else to subjugate you all. Ta-ta.

Plunt: Golly whiz!! Freedom, finally!

Plunt: On this momentous occasion, let us remember the many sacrifices—particularly my own—that were made. Also, your help near the end is appreciated.

Player: Sacrifices?

Plunt: Well I mean I had to supply the pen and paper for the petition you know… But fear not, there’s enough glory to go around.

Player: Okay. I'm going to turn the oobnet tower back on.

Plunt: Sure, sure. I've gotta get started writing a new constitution... and edicts! Everyone loves edicts.

On lose: Pimplepomp: I suppose that result was to be expected. If you care to embarrass yourself again in the future, I suggest bringing more competent ooblets.

Player option 2: Not just yet

On return: Pimplepomp: Is baby back to try to win fweedom for the poor little stinky townfolk?

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That's it! I'd love to hear what you think of it. Even though this has all ended in the scrap heap, I think the new concepts we came up with for Port Forward will be worth it, and I can't wait for you to see them all!