XaiJu
Karbo
Karbo

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Cursed relic p17 to 28 basic storyboard

Here is the continuation of the story board :)  Still sketchy at this point, the characters are mostly placeholder whose entire appearance or even gender could change in future versions. It's really more to give an idea of what is going on in the scenes ^^I have to say Elorie is really fun and pleasant to draw so far XD

What I see right now is that the time between her realizing she has eaten the climber girl and her fainting, is maybe a bit too fast. There could easily be half a page more here I think ^^

Please don't hesitate to give your remarks and suggestions ! It's always super helpful ;3 


Cursed relic p17 to 28 basic storyboard Cursed relic p17 to 28 basic storyboard Cursed relic p17 to 28 basic storyboard

Comments

<3

I'm really looking forward to this one! The only thing I am unsure about it the size of the tinies. I imagined them to be a lot smaller then they currently are. That way Elorie will look a lot more dangerous while still being cute as well. I'm not sure whether this is even still changeable, but I thought I would give you the feedback nonetheless. I hope it is useful. Keep up the amazing work! :)

Arzok

Oh that's a good idea ! And I can totally see her do that indeed :D

Karbo

hehe in the Anko comic I have started, there will definitely be a water-filled stomach XP

Karbo

Oh my gosh, she gets more adorable with every panel. The interactions are totally on point. xD I was thinking it might be funny if you have a panel or two where she's talking to her tummy. Like after she said she could feel Saki(?) moving, she could maybe feel a gurgle afterwards and freak out. Maybe tell it to stop. I dunno, it just popped into my head. Anywho, amazing work, but that's no surprise. :)

Thank you :)

Karbo

Thank you ! :D

Karbo

I love how you squirt prey into the stomach. Always a very nice effect.

Ailith

Hehe yeah I suppose a string point to a certain outcome in my work XD ( jus love these scenes ! X3 )

Karbo

hehe ;3

Karbo

A string? Well, we all know what's gonna happen, aren't we? XD I really love how she just passed out knowing what she did, that does reflect her personality.

Azurejass

Looks good i love to see other neko around that aren't just prey fodder ^_^

Kuja Kuzi

Glad you liked it XP and yes that type of second swallow thing,I did it in Check and mate and it remains a type of scene I like quite a bit in vore ;3

Karbo

Eloire is adorable as shit, loved when she panicked and passed out! I'm actually hoping she is going to get them all out, a non-fatal ending would be different. Especially someone managing to escape a stomach suscessfully for once! Might there be some soft butt crush or unbirth stuff? :D

Glad you like it so far :) and thanks for the remarks and suggestions :3 I will see what I can do once I start inking the pages ^^

Karbo

Ohhh, love these new pages! Elorie remains profoundly adorable when she's freaking out, and even when she's fainted. I laughed at the 'Thank Minalca you're okay' bit too. Clearly a over-optimistic assessment indeed. xD Also very much enjoyed the emphasis on internal cutaways, with the second swallowing especially. Love those sorts of scenes! ;3

PrinnyDood

Incredible work! Excellent storytelling ability being displayed here. I can't wait for the finished product to be ready.

Abaloney

These are absolutely wonderful! Really looking forward to this one; unintentional vore is one of my favorites! If you're looking for feedback or suggestions, one thing I would say is having Elorie drink some water after having swallowed him to stop the choking. A messy stomach is fun, but a liquid filled stomach can be fun as well. Just a thought! Keep up the great work.

vorefanatic314

Thanks ! um well maybe not everyone ^^;

Karbo

solid phantasm mhh ? interesting idea ^^ and yes it's a type of scene I love quite a bit XP

Karbo

thanks ! XD

Karbo

;3

Karbo

oh yes ! it's not finished at all :)

Karbo

hehe great to hear ! ;)

Karbo

Man, this is combining so many of my favorite things with vore

Doc

It' a shame that there's only vore situation. Is there any other situation after this?

Ain

;3

Karbo

`Well he was talking about a suprise some time ago but I don´t think he meant that kind of suprise xP

And she unwillingly gonna eat all of them? XD omg. But this is really something new from you. I wonder if there will be survival in the end. Unwilling vore is new, but vore without fatality might be even newer. You are full of news recently.

Freimgul

Ok! Thanks!!)) (✿◠‿◠)

SexBook _____ ADULT PHOTO AND VIDEO SIGNATURES

this is incredibly cute, i love it! :D

tjb0607

Surprised to see that you saved the "asshole eating" part (the one I'm mostly looking forward to due to the short instinct based willing vore occurrence) for later and show Elorie's "passing out" moment before that although I have to say that it works out quite well nonetheless ;-) (really like were this is heading) . Some criticism though (mostly personal preference based but still) : 1. Page 18 top left panel works really well for a stomach cutaway view on full body predator (maybe you could add it ? ) . Moreover I'd like to see Elorie's face be completely revealed here so that we see more of her hairs plus her ears, 2. Page 20 bottom right panel were Elorie is falling over also would look more interesting me thinks if you show her complete face aka making the panel bigger and for that leave out the bottom left panel next to it, 3. Page 23 Combining the gulp panel together with the one left to it so that it's one head to neck (or even better) head to breasts gulp panel, 4. Page 25 top right panel revealing more of Elorie by making the panel bigger so that there's a better sense of scale with the guy standing on her. To sum it up I think it's better if for those interesting (vore) scenes and the ones that will follow if there aren't too many small panels but instead sequences were there is overall more shown in fewer but bigger panels (like in Iridans dance) so that the viewer gets a better feeling of size difference between Elorie and her now shrunken companions and to further intensify the vore scenes of course ^^ .

JohnboyX

Maybe add a splash page where the insults are becoming solid phantasms representing the insults and decries of evil nekoes. You'll lose two pages BUUUT you'll get a time pause and it'll convey her shock and horror making the dint seem plausable and timely. ^_^ Other than that it all seems pretty nice and in particular the demonstration of unconcious re-swallowing is a great detail. We've seen vindictive succubi do this but only in a voluntary manner. It's good to see it as an unconcious reflex.

David Dent

hahaha XD

Karbo

"Thank God you're ok!" IV BEEN SWALLOWED I'M NOT OK!!" Spit breakfast all over the place!

Vixsune (ThatSlyFox)

Really like where this is going so far. I especially the scene when Saki's companions were talking to her while she was in Elorie stomach =3. As for your concern about if its going to fast, I feel like Elorie would need to be coughing way more to be that light headed to pass out from being yelled at. Like maybe have her still coughing while she being yelled at the same time? I feel like that would make it more believable. Also I would imagine if someone is trying to throw up they would also be trying the fingers in throat trick. Other why's keep up the great work looking forward to the next storyboard!

Homer4hire247

aww its soo good. I hope it will end good and everyone is happy.

Yuzaris

Still holding out for something with lower body down, ya know?

hiddenwriterrr

Sweet like how that unwillig pred is made x3

Definitely love where this is going!

Meddwynn Ravencroft

Welp, they're both dead. XD ...Probably not. XDD


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