Sketchbook Pages + Update

Hello lovely people, 

How are you all?

I am sorry for my slowed activity levels in the last few months, here's an update :

Things are a little tough on my side of things, as I have been having some health issues the last 4 or 5 months that have gotten gradually worse and have really come in the way of me  creating new work. But I finally managed to get a treatment prescribed last week and I am hoping to feel better soon. It is nothing deeply serious or life-threatening, but it was debilitating enough on occasion (migraines, blurry vision, nausea and sinus infections)  that it really impacted not only my work but my mental health, so that is why I have been less active recently. 

I didn't talk much about it as I was always hoping it would get better or that I would manage to push through, and I also don't like dwelling on my down times too much on social media, as it can become draining for you guys too and I don't want to become a stressful space for anyone. 

I am hoping that I now am on the right treatment course, but this kind of thing is obviously a little tricky these days, and since I haven't had an actual physical appointment with a doctor, only a few phone calls, it is possible the treatment is not the right one for me yet. But I am keeping my hopes up and I will get better in time as I at least have a doctor I speak to regularly now. Let's see where my current treatment gets me :) 

Anyway, enough of that!

On my good days I am trying to prioritise art making as I feel like it has fallen to the wayside a little lately and I have so many ideas brimming in my head that I want to make sure I spend the energy I do have on creating new work. 

I spent the last couple of days doodling ideas in my sketchbook and though I would share those pages with you below!

Nowadays I really enjoy using a pen when doodling and iterating, which makes me smile because I used to see other artists do that and think "I could never". Well here I am now XD

These pages are messy and don't use much in the way of references. 

I mostly try to relax and enjoy the process, especially since it has been a little while since I let go a little in my sketchbook, and it is difficult to let my mind flow without overthinking.

I have decided to try and paint in my sketchbook more. The longer I go without creating, the more scared of the process I become, and working in my sketchbook allows me to dedramatise the whole experience and reconnect with the excitement and pleasure of it all without the anxiety and exhaustion that can come with trying to create a fully fledged painting. 

My sketchbook can handle paint reasonably well but it does still struggle after a few layers, and colours become dull and grey so I need to learn its limits better, but it is still a cathartic exercise. 

CURRENT AND UPCOMING PROJECTS

So what are my plans for the next few months?

Well, health permitting, here's what I am trying to put together.

I am currently working on coming up with 12 concepts for new drawings. 

I still don't feel quite ready to take on the big pieces you saw me prepare earlier this year, so I am going to use Inktober to try and get my confidence back up. 

I want to combine making a 2022 calendar with making pieces for Inktober. 

I don't feel up to attempting the entire 31 day challenge, so 12 drawings feels like a reasonable compromise. 

I have been brainstorming concepts the past few days, and will share those ideas with you once they have crystallized a little more. 

I also want to combine the process of creating ink drawings with my painting process, and make it so that I can create both an ink drawing and a painting from one sketch. I keep talking about turning my inktobers into paintings, so maybe this could be good way to get some full pieces out of an inktober project.
We'll see how that works out. 

I am going to try and not get ahead of myself and list too many of the things I would love to attempt in the times to come, as this year has shown me that I need to slow down and temper my ambitions or I'll work myself into the ground and affect both my physical and mental health. 

So my plan is to focus on this project first and foremost, and anything extra that I can do will be a bonus. 

I will obviously share every step of the process with you as it goes :)

THANK YOU

And to end this post, I just wanted to say sorry and thank you. 

I am deeply sorry for having been less active lately, 2021 is seriously kicking my butt so far, and I think I was not taking my exhaustion into account as much as I should have when I first laid out all my projects and ideas at the beginning of the year.
I have not been very honest with myself lately, and was hanging on the hopes that my struggles were temporary and fleeting and sweeping them under the rug hoping they would just get better without me having to tend to them. In reality, I should have accepted I was drained and taken steps to manage my workload, time and energy better.
I am doing so now and should hopefully start getting better as time goes on. 

I wanted to simply thank you from the bottom of my heart for always being so kind and patient with me. I feel like I use those words a lot but I want to make sure I say them as much as is needed to truly express my gratitude and appreciation for each and every one of you. 

You are a blessing. Thank you. I hope you are all well and safe and happy. 

Speak very soon <3